Originally posted by DanZeke25
An extremely ugly woman walks into a store with her two kids. The man at the counter asks, "Are they twins?" The woman says, "No, he's nine and she's seven." Then she says, "Why? Do you think they look alike?" "No," he replies. "I just can't believe you got laid twice!"
😂
Originally posted by Impediment
What happend to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?Popeye beat the shit out of him!
tongue_ss
This is the best joke ever.
😂 😆 😂 😆 😆
I know there is already a thread for jokes, but this one is just great. I was laughing for like 15 minutes straight. It is really long though, but its worth it.
Once there was a boy. He lived in some place. Well one day, he was walking home from friends house. Well on his way home, a gang jumped him and beat him badly. And just as they ran off with his money, one of the gang members yelled back, “You're a dirty golf ball!” The boy was dumbfounded. He ran home as fast as he could and his parents freaked out when they saw that he was beaten. As they were patching him up, he said, “Mom dad, whats a dirty golf ball?” The mom and dad looked at each other in horror. The mother fell to the ground in tears as the dad picked up his son with anger and threw him outside. He slammed the door and yelled “Don't come back!” The boy sat there confused and weak. He slowly got up and ran through his neighborhood. He soon got to the edge of town. Scared and lonely, and old bum came up to him. “can you give a guy change?” Said the old bum. The kid got some strength and answered him. “Sorry, but I've been robbed.” The old bum was kind and said that's okay. As the old man was leaving, the boy asked, “Say, what's a dirty golf ball? The man turned around and quickly started to beat the boy with his cane. The boy ran until he got to some nearby trains. He almost started to cry. He thought it was a joke at first, but now he was scared and feeling terrible inside. He hopped onto one of the trains and started to cry. The train took off and he cried through the night. When he woke up, two hobos welcomed him aboard. He was shocked to realize that he was far from home. He got up and asked them right away what a dirty golf ball was. The two screamed with horror and threw him off of the train. The boy fell down a small hill and stopped right in front of a rich man. The rich man bent down and told his men to get this boy help. After that, the kind rich man took the boy to his mansion. The boy woke up in a huge bedroom. The rich man came in and told him what happened. The boy thought in his head, “I better not talk about the dirty golf ball anymore.” The man left the boy to rest. But just before he shut the doer, the boy said, “yep no more dirty golf ball talk. The rich man was furious and shot him in the leg. He had his men throw him out and he ran to a hospital as quickly as he could. The doctor took it out and healed the poor child who was very sad now. The boy spat up a little and said. “All's I wanted to know was what a dirty gold ball is!” He shut is mouth right away. The doctor turned around and stabbed him in the leg. The boy ran outside and went crazy. He tore his shirt and lived homeless for the next 15 years. During those years, he asked many people what a dirty golf ball was. They all beat him up or hurt him in some way. And the children he asked, didn't have a clue. He was a man now. He went into a store and asked a golfer what a dirty golf was. Everyone in the store went dead silent. They all ran towards him and tried to kill him. A whole mob chased him to a back ally and he hid in a dumpster. They passed him and he sat there for several minutes. He got out of the dumpster and realized the area. He was near hos house. He ran home as fast as he could, and knocked on the door. He almost cried when he saw his dad again. He told him that it was him. “Son is it really you!?” Said the dad. He told his dad real quick about what has happened, and also used the dirty golf ball word. His dad made a plain face and got a knife, he chased his son to another back ally. But he soon lost him. The man was furious now. “WHAT THE HELL IS A DIRTY GOLF BALL!?” Just then, a middle aged man ran over to him and told him to be quite. “You wanna know what it is? Meet in this ally tonight at 8:00 o clock sharp.” The middle aged man ran off. As he stood there. He was excited and very happy now that he was going to know what a dirty golf ball is. When the time came, he went to the back ally and saw the other man across the street. He ran across the street just as a car going at 90 miles per hour hit him. He was dead. The middle aged man said, “Meh.” and went on his business. The moral of this story is, look both ways, before you cross the street.