Random Comments

Its not that i HAVE to. The fun is in CHOOSING to.

Yeah but if you had hit someone in the face w. a wiffleball bat, this would have been over hours ago.

If it’s worth tapping, it’s worth double tapping.

Did you just take shower here? Why are you wearing a towel?

You should become a teacher.
You have all this knowledge about stuff you have no ability to do!

What?
But i already lit the match! Lets hurry up and get there, okay?

I’m out of the food truck business, and i no longer spontaneously weep.

Because something is difficult doesnt mean it shouldnt be done.
Just, you know, not by me.

People and technology are a bad match. Like moms and Radiohead.

The closest i’ve come to dating two women, was that time i dated one woman.

Without rules we’re just one tree climb away from feces flinging.

Is there a ghost in the car? Does the ghost have a car in it? Pretty standard question, man.

I’d hate myself, but the money is just too good.

I’ll never get it back now.
That’s going in the box, along with my naked lady pen, and my “I got crabs in Louisiana” t-shirt.

I still wear a watch. I dont care that my phone tells time.

I got the brain sweats!

RED TEAM GO! RED TEAM GO!

Okay, but in her defense this time i took my pants off by choice.

Its not something we like to discuss in the scientific community, but yes, a garden snake CAN swallow a marshmallow.

Well would you get a-load of THAT!