Random Comments

If Timmy is an average kid, then shouldnt more ppl understand him?

This one goes out to all the margarine lovers out there!

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.

Its not a dress, its a kimono.

I’m on a beach. In Canada. Canada!

Oh god, the new neighbors have a dog.

And so, i guess it just takes ME to change a lightbulb.

I’d like to read from a prepared statement:

Its 1963, in Longview, Washington.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

Why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

Asiago cheese is conveniently glued to my thighs.

I want an armband tattoo that reads ‘ARMBAND’.

What if he’s your Romeo but you’re his Casanova?

And so in conclusion: Grapes.

Some shoes look good, some shoes feel good.

Oh.