Wacky Story thread (helpers needed!!)

Carmon Electra! Jackbob then erases the impure Saddam scene from his mind and says "hey" to her... She looks seductively at him and says...

"im actually male"

He leaves the hole, questioning his orientation, and he despirately looks for a chick to hook up with, when he comes across..

A baby chicken who says "Quack!" He squints at the chick, then feels a tap on his shoulder. its...

the black guy! he says: i told you you were in the matrix

😂😂😂

😆

Jackbob then gives in and says... FINE. What do you want to do with me then? The black guy explains...

the matrix is...

(i haven't seen thematrix movies someone fill me in)

"you see, jackbob, the matrix is like a pizza. if you like, then its great. if not, then u hate it."

"what?" jackbob asks.

darth vader pops back in. "i dont get it either."

"well, the matrix is..."

suddenly megatron from transformers walks in and blasts the black guy with his fusion cannon. "what?" he asks. "damn. i thought that was starscream. where the hell are you, you traitor?"

then darth vader charges after megatron and then...

The power rangers come out and are squashed once and for all by Megatron. Darth Vader and Megatron stop their battle to laugh at their remains, as does the black guy and Jackbob. Then Jackbob asks...

"black guy, how did u come back to life?"

"oh, it's simple," he responds. "first, you take a bottle of lubrication oil..."

Megatron stares at the black guy. "damn you, you should be dead. NONE DEFY MY ORDERS!"

Suddenly, at the worst possible moment Starscream flies overhead. "Except me," he says.

"oh yes, except you," megatron sighs, and then he turns to the black guy and...

Whacks him with a giant hammer, and all of a sudden, the black guy grows at an enormous rate and says. THIS IS MY CITY... MY CITY! And charges at Starscream and Megatron...

Starscream charges his null cannon and fires at the black guy. Black guy screams like a girl and says, "ok, ok, you win..."

Then Agent Smith comes in and says "Buwahaha, you shall all perish," and attempts to clone himself onto Starscream. All Smith gets out of it is a really sore face as he's punched {see below}... he retaliates and runs away like a baby. Then.....

Luke Skywalker pops out of nowhere. "I will not fight you father," he says, and Vader charges him. Skywalker does nothing and gets his head slashed off. All evil guys present (Vader, Megatron, Starscream, and Saddam's corpse) laugh. "That's how the movie should have ended." Then the evil guys shake hands and drink beer in celebration.

They all get drunk and begin to get horny, rape one another, and jump into Saddam's hole, and are never seen again. Finally, the black man goes back to Jackbob, and says... "Anyhew, we had plans to get you out of the matrix, but this is good shit! Screw the war with the machines! Screw the one! Who needs that when you've got a 12 pack!" Jackbob, the black guy (I actually think he was named on the first page 😛) and Megatron walk down the street of Boston, in search of...

Pizza. But then Starscream flies by saying "I have all your pizza and you'll never find it," then he tries eating it, only to realize that he's only a giant robot. "Damn it!" In random anger he decides to fly to Boston Harbor. Jackbob and black guy blink in response. "ok..."

But they were unable to get pizza. but then black guy tells jack bob, "in the matrix, you can get pizza whenever u need to. all u gotta do is..."

<---I have pizza!

"...tap you heals three times.... wait wrong movie. All you gotta do is call out "Lassie!"... no that's not right either... All you gotta do is sing "You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant... with FEELIN' and you'll get your pizza." Sure enough, they got their pizza, and got the peperoni with four part harmony....