The "Talk that sounds perverted, but isn't" Thread

"...it wil be jus us 2, me n him, n he can touch wut ever he wants"....Ross from friends

" mamas chicken salad 😉"

is your's a long sausage?

Here's a couple: () = What it really is...

It's not comin' out. (a drink, I think)
All her meat was hangin' off (our friend describing a lady's face)
It'll probably take two days to get up there. (A letter)
I just squeezed real hard until all the white stuff came out (poppin' a pimple)

Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more

👆 We are talking about golf...by the way.

Just keep stroking, and I'll squirt.

(Woman stroking the cat, while the guy spits out his water)

When do you think you'll be getting off today?

(when are you gonna leave)

For $200 an hour, she better be good!

(talking about hiering a lawyer)

I can't get it open. Someone help!

(A plastic bag)

There are only 2 things that smell like fish.
One of them is fish,

.....

i cant get it off with one hand
(rock out loud on her bracelet)

It's jammed in there pretty tight
I TOLD YOU IT WOULDN"T FIT!
Don't Worry I'll get it out
(Keys)

if you can't find anyone to play with, play with yourself...

say hello to my little friend!!!