Hp jokes

its alive!!

Now it's dead!!

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come one people post some jokes! I am trying to think of one..but if you all are going to be this dry then what the heck is the purpose of this thread? 🙄

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OK, one more, but I don't know, this one doesn't sound pretty clever to me... ah, can't come up with anything else right now, so...

- What should Harry have done, that dreadful day, not to get that scar?

- He should have bolted away...

(I told you it was gonna be poor...) 😮

ahahaha no it was ok.

Top Ten Signs Your Kid Is A Wizard

10. When he enters a room there is a burst of purple smoke

9. You say, "Do you think that lawn is gonna mow itself?" But then it does

8. Your child gets busted shoplifting a newt

7. Can turn lead into gold, but he can't remember to take out the trash -- am I right, parents?

6. He wears shiny red satin robes -- and you're just praying he's a wizard

5. Favorite discount electronics chain: The Wiz

4. Refers to Halloween as "amateur night"

3. He's only 12, but somehow he's dating Gwyneth Paltrow

2. His homework ate the dog

1. You catch him in the bathroom polishing his wand

The Top 5 Indications Harry Potter
Is Going Through Puberty

5. His voice cracks while casting a spell, causing it to rain naked Tracey Ullmans.

4. All that awful, awful poetry.

3. Last spell learned? "The Incantation of the Unscrambled Spice Channel."

2. No longer invited to sleepovers at Neverland Castle.

and the Number 1 Indication Harry Potter Is Going Through Puberty...

1. "Erectius concealioso!"

Okay. One good one.

One day professer Lupin was walking down the hogwarts halls and as he turned the corner he was face to face with hagrid. Hagrid then said to him, "I saw you last night.
(Pick your favorite. 1) Harry. 2) Snape. 3) Sirius) With ------. I saw you two go into the shreiking shack. There was howling and growling and screaming and bombing."
"Yeah?" Lupin said. "So what?"
then hagrid says, "It wasn't a full moon."

I got this off of someone else but you'd get a kick out of this. 💃 💃 💃 💃

😂

Nice one! 😄

Where did ya find it?
There aren't many HP jokes, on the web... 🙁

Nice one Townsend'sAngel, Lilytiger well basically there are no HP jokes and we are either inventing or modifying other jokes by additng parts in HP contex

The WAR has started! Neville has joined the others in the fight against the deatheaters. A group of students were hiding in the rows and shuting spells. After a while the Auror who was heading them saw that Neville was the only one who was hiding his head inside the row and didn't shut a single jet[i]

[i]- "Why aren't you shuting Neville?"
" Neville answers:
" I hate them so much so I can not even look at them"

i gotta 1:How many trolls does it take to light up a wand?
Only one, but he's got to dig it out of his nose first

How many Slytherins does it take to light up a wand?
-Depends how far up Draco Malfoy's butt it is [

lol

Knock knock.
who's there?
Harry.
Harry Potter?
No man Harry from upstairs, you've been playing patty cake with my wife. Open the door or I'll empty this shotgun into it.

lol u guys and gals are great !!! I wilkl come with another one soon, but todya

Hagrid falls in love. He follows the "lucky" witch day and night, but from distance. One day he decides to approach her and tell her how he feels. So, he follows the "lucky" witch from the monring... she meets with another witch and they go for a cup of cofe. Hagrid follows them. Finaly he enteres the cafe, takes out the wand and yells:

AVADA!!!

and kills the other witch. Then as if nothing happend he falls down on the knees and sings to his witch:$$$ Are you lonely tonight$$

😂 i like that 1