These crack me up every time:
Peter:"Lois, if you strike me down I shall become more powerful then you can ever imagine"
(peter writes a letter to craig t. nelson to get coach back on the air, but whites out some text to make it say, "I will kill craig t. nelson"😉
Craig T Nelson:"Are you Peter Griffin?"
Peter:"yeah"
(nelson hands peter a gun)
Craig T Nelson:"Make it quick"
Peter:"Holy crap Brian, what am i going to do? Lois is gonna be home in a couple of days, and we're getting kicked outta the house tomorrow! "
Brian:"what do you suggest?"
Peter:"Get out your ring."
Brian:"Peter that's not gonna--"
Peter:"Come on!"
Both together:"WonderTwin Powers..... Activate!"
Peter:"Form of--- Steam!"
(pause)
Brian😛eter, we got these in a box of frankenberry
My fav episode is when Brian & Stewie go to London to see Mother Maggie. They're in Amsterdam, and stop for coffee. My favourite lines are;
Stewie: (really high) I think the reason why we die...
Brian: (Also really high) Hey man, I know exactly what you're going to say and....
Stewie: (giggling) Shhh! Shhhhh! Shush! (serious again) I think the reason why we die, is because we accept it as an inevitability! Whhha!
Sorry, I guess you have to see it to get it~ *lmao*
Its gotta b from the 1st series Chitty chitty Death Bang
Chris:u want some ice cream b.day dude
Stewie:yes but no sprinkles, for every sprinkle i find i shall kill u.
and
Quagmire😄ear Diary, Jackpot.
Chris:what about the time she strangled our other sister?
lOis;now chris we've been over this it was just a very bad dream
chris:but i remember it so....
both:IT WAS A DREAM
priceless
Dear stupid dog, I've gone to live with the children on jolly farm. Good bye forever. Stewie.
P.S. I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. Umm, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I'm probably over the thirty day return limit but umm… I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something. Umm.. It's actually not a horrible sweater. It's... It's just I can't imagine when I would ever wear it you know? Oh I also left a button on the bureau. I'm not sure what it goes to, but I can never bring myself to throw a button away. I know that as soon as I do I'll find the garment it goes to and then it'll…
Wait a minute, could it be from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm… Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again, goodbye forever.
P.P.S. You know, it might be a little chilly in London, I'm actually going to take the sweater.
Pure Gold
Quotes huh...okay I'll play
Stewie: this is my house!
Peter: three days? that's tomorrow.
Brian: whose wife do I have to hump to get a dry mar-tiny
Stewie: who the hell do you think you are?
Peter: holly crap..I'm Black.
Peter: don't listen to him kids stay Black and proud.
Old gay man: I got some pop sciles in the basement.
Old gay man: bring your fat ass back over here.
New york preacher dude: god is good and he expect us to be good..cuz if your not he's gonna come down and bash ya freakin skull...
I think that's enough next!
Disabled Man: [with electronic voice] A sphincter says what?
Joe Swanson: What?
Disabled Man: Ha ha ha ha. You stupid bastard.
Disabled Man: [electronic voice] That was pathetic. Tell your wife to come over to my place if she wants a little boom shacka-lacka-lacka-lacka-lacka. Boom shacka-lacka-lacka-lacka-lacka. Boom shacka-lacka-lacka-lacka-lacka. Boom.
Stewie Griffin: The breakfast thing. Yes. It wasn't even about the eggs, really. Frankly, I like the yolks. I don't... I have no problem... it's just there's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much I want to "kill" her. It's just I want her not to be alive anymore. Uh... I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult. And then I think to myself, "My God! Wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual?"
Peter Griffin: You all know how observant I am.
TV Announcer: And now back to Star Trek.
Peter Griffin: Holy crap. Uhura's black?
Brian Griffin: You're really going to take back donated gifts on Christmas Eve?
Peter Griffin: Yes, now here's the plan. We'll enter through the air conditioning duct here. Which will be guarded by lasers three inches above the floor, now you'll have to squeeze yourself to the size of about a sponge and then crawl across the floor like a dolphin or some other amphibious mammal.
Brian: Can I buy some pot from you? 😂 😂
[QUOTE=3353022]Originally posted by Mainstream
[B]white kid with hat on: hey guys you wanna go push the jainitor knowing legally he can't push us back?
Quamere: how old are you little girl?
Girl: 16!
Quamere: 18?
Girl: moooom!
Quamere: I like were this is going gitty gitty.
Stipper: how old are you?
Chris: old enough to know your a whore.
like seriosly, this show is probalbly the only show where i can say i LOVE EVERY Ep. and bc of this i prolly have way too many favorite eps and favorite quotes for that mater. however, i saw a really great ep recently and its one of the best ever; the one where peter is jealous of louis having guy friends.
( Peter dressed up in a suit standing in front of a mirror with Loius too dressed and standing by his side)
*Louis fixing Peter's tie and admiring him*
louis: look at that handsome guy!
Peter: *gets angry at man in mirror* that bastard! *breaks mirror* LMAO!
My fav quotes....?? Hmm there are so many but I have time so here we go.
On the episode "Death's a *****"
Death: Peter Griffin?
Peter: This is Peter Griffin - <Points to a lamp>
Same Episode
Stewie talking to Death: Hi there, Stewie, Big Fan
Again Same Episode
Death: Aww he's a good kid, I just hope his teen years are better then mine
FLASHBACK
Car Rocking
Death: Oh Sandy! Oh Sandy!
Sandy: Oh De... (She Dies)
Car stops rocking
Death: Aw crap I'm gonna be a virgin forever...Or am I?
Car rocks again
On the Episode "Death Lives"
Death: Hey you can't go in that way
Peter: I aint as hell goin in the other end!
Death:Fine stay here in limbo in your stupid body, oh and another thing when the lighting hit you, you soiled yourself, enjoy!
On the Episode "Road to Rhode Island"
Stewie: And the lord said to Abraham to sacrifice his first son and Abraham said I can't hear you please speak into the microphone
Brian: Say something about my mother
Stewie: Oh yes, I never knew beatrice as a dog but I knew her as a coffee table
Brian: Alright you can stop!
Just like I can stop, I'll say more later on, after these are commented on!
"It's my Sex-box and her name is Sony."
"NOOOOOO. Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids. Damn longears, trying to take Easter away from Jesus. Anyway, what was that you were saying?"
"Chris, everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that."
The list just goes on and on. And the new season starts May 1st!