i like the when Lois is giving the Piano lesson and stewie says:
Stewie: A little quiter please im trying to watch the history Cahnnel here!
Lois: i will be right back Billy i have to get another lesson book
Stewie runs over to billy and beats his ass, then sits back on the couch like nothing happened.
Lois comes back to billy and notices how beat up he is. " o Billy what Happened!/?
Stewie: o yes billy tell us what happened? says Stewie with an evil smile
Billy looks at Stewie and the at Lois and says: uhh...i.......fell
Brian: playing with that wheat thresher..always playing with that wheat thresher!
Stewie: I love Crack..I'm koo koo for crack
Stewie: good news Slappy..I've decided not to kill you.
Stewie: I'm hot..now I'm cold oh Slappy what have you done to me?
Lois: you can't hit me I'm a girl.
Peter: sometimes I wonder.
(falling of the roof..)
Peter: ahhhhhh ( a web hammock catches him.) thanks spider-man.
spider-man: everyone gets one.
Diane- Tom's dared me to do the news topless, I've got the goods but do I have the guts? Find out at 11.
Tom- That's breaking news and maybe Diane's Boobs later tonight.
Lois: Sweetie, it's broccoli, it's good for you. Now open up for the airplane....
Stewie: Never! Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn the Wright brothers!
TELEVISION ANNOUNCER: We now return to the Smurfs...
(on television screen)
Smurf #1: Hey, did you have a good time last night?
Smurf #2: Smurf-tacular!
Smurf #1: Yeah, I saw you leave with Smurfette.
Smurf #2: Oh man, as soon as we got out of the bar, she started smurfing me.
Smurf #1: Shut the Smurf up!
Smurf #2: Yeah!
Smurf #1: Right in the Smurfing parking lot?
Smurf #2: That is freaking Smurf.
😆
Peter (narrating his life): "I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life. (Lois knocks Peter out.)
I woke several hours later in a daze."
Peter: Aww man! I hate Trivial Pursuit, it always makes me feel so stupid.
Brian: More stupid then that time you locked your keys out of the car?
(Cut to Peter inside the car with his keys lying outside his car door.)
Peter: Damn it! Hey! Hey! Somebody! Hey! Sir! Sir! Sir! You see those keys there? Sir! Si-! (man walks away) Screw you! (Sticks a bent straight hanger out of his window and trys to catch the keys on the hanger. The keys fall.) Oh wanaaahhaahaaa!
Peter: (Grabs the microphone at a fast food restaurant) Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.