I want a new boyfriend!!!

I've got to thinking lately - being single again after 8 years of marriage.
One thing is about age-gaps between two people. How big should it be? Does it matter? My friends span in age from 22 to 58, and they all contribute with something when I see them.

What IS love?? I think I've kinda forgotten in the long battle of ending a totally unsatisfying relationship after so many years. Is it that sudden happiness in the heart when you hear his name? Or is that just a crush? Is it chatting for hours by sms? Can you be in love with two people at the same time??

Sex... Well, a funky game for adults, I know. But how important is that in a relationship?

And for the guys/gents/men around here: How do you tell a guy these days that you're interested, without saying... well... "I am interested?".

(Steps back, takes a seat and waits for feedback)

Running your fingers through his hair usually says you're interested. If you have to do it by "accident," so be it.

If you just got a divorce after 8 years of marriage, are you sure you're ready for a new boyfriend? How long ago was the divorce?

You say you have a wide range of age gaps - make sure the new boyfriend is at least 25. That's usually the age when you can be sure he has even a slightest clue about what a serious relationship is.

pay him all sorts of unnecessary compliments but not in a corny kind of way tho, cuz you dont wanna be all touchy feely off the jump and have some guy think you're easy and desperate(even tho thats a plus for me)

Originally posted by botankus
Running your fingers through his hair usually says you're interested. If you have to do it by "accident," so be it.

If you just got a divorce after 8 years of marriage, are you sure you're ready for a new boyfriend? How long ago was the divorce?

You say you have a wide range of age gaps - make sure the new boyfriend is at least 25. That's usually the age when you can be sure he has even a slightest clue about what a serious relationship is.

Just how can you run your fingers through someones hair by "accident"....hmm...maybe that's why it says that......

Now for the love thing...I don't really think i ever was in love...I am rather young though......well 19 some people say they have been in love by then...but who knows.....

22-58 that'S a rather broad range......and errr why such strange numbers?......I mean 20-60...or 25-55?.....

Originally posted by Bardock42
22-58 that'S a rather broad range......and errr why such strange numbers?......I mean 20-60...or 25-55?.....

I think she's just stating a fact that she has a friend that's 22 and one that's 58 and everyone else falls in-between that range.

You never know, with today's pharmaceutical products, those 60 year olds might be more than you can handle!

Originally posted by botankus
I think she's just stating a fact that she has a friend that's 22 and one that's 58 and everyone else falls in-between that range.

You never know, with today's pharmaceutical products, those 60 years might be more than you can handle!

Hmm this would make sense.....but at the sam time its so strangely symmetrical....I bet someone could wqrite an essay aboot that and get a Nobelürize for Math (where's the mistake in that statement?)

This is true...although it doesn't depend on age....everyone can take them.........and it would surely be more than I can handle since my handling of boyfriend skills is at aboot 1 (D&D Style)

Botakus> The separation was finalised in January, and we've been apart for a year now.
I know what you mean, "Am I ready?" VERY good question, how does one know if one is ready?

25? I'll be sure to ask next time I run into a guy 😉

Bardock> My friends are between the ages of 22 and 58. Meaning the youngest friend I have is 22, and the oldest 58. They're not all men, though. I'm just comfortable around all sorts of people, but was wondering if an age-gap of, say, 9 years or, hm, 7 years, is too much...
Symmetrical?

(Scribbles: Run fingers through hair. Check.. Hey, what if he took it all off?? Make unnessary compliments. Check.)

Originally posted by The Omega
I've got to thinking lately - being single again after 8 years of marriage.
One thing is about age-gaps between two people. How big should it be? Does it matter? My friends span in age from 22 to 58, and they all contribute with something when I see them.

What IS love?? I think I've kinda forgotten in the long battle of ending a totally unsatisfying relationship after so many years. Is it that sudden happiness in the heart when you hear his name? Or is that just a crush? Is it chatting for hours by sms? Can you be in love with two people at the same time??

Sex... Well, a funky game for adults, I know. But how important is that in a relationship?

And for the guys/gents/men around here: How do you tell a guy these days that you're interested, without saying... well... "I am interested?".

(Steps back, takes a seat and waits for feedback)

I don't think it's age so much as it is personality.....personality is a BIG plus...also open mindedness....even if you're different, if you have an open mind and so does he then things can work out...anyway you shouldn't try to change anyone from what they are...cause if you do...then that's selfish love...not true love...love isn't conditional..

Sex...has to be good....or someone needs to take a class or something..

I also think you can be in love many times....maybe even at the same time....it's been known to happen..

Well like 2 up...and 2....ahhh never mind.....

Hmm if you talk aboot boy/girlfriends I don't think 9 years are a problem...depends of course on the maturity of either member of the couple.....it's different from case to case but I don't think it'S a problem in general....

This weird agony aunt in some women's magazine once prescribed a maximum age difference limit of ten years. Age differences are certain to be less important in later life, my father is eight years older than my mother and it is little difference for two of their advanced years.

A boy at school once told me that I made him wake up sweating in the middle of the night! 😱 For more interesting material I would recommend that members read a standard book on body language, there's alot of gestures women are entitled to make towards men.

You know you're ready if you don't feel guilty on his behalf as you embark on a venture to a new relationship.

I'm talking 0% guilt and very little thought about him.

And if you think of Bardock at all, you are DEFINATELY not ready.

Originally posted by The Omega
I've got to thinking lately - being single again after 8 years of marriage.
One thing is about age-gaps between two people. How big should it be? Does it matter? My friends span in age from 22 to 58, and they all contribute with something when I see them.

What IS love?? I think I've kinda forgotten in the long battle of ending a totally unsatisfying relationship after so many years. Is it that sudden happiness in the heart when you hear his name? Or is that just a crush? Is it chatting for hours by sms? Can you be in love with two people at the same time??

Sex... Well, a funky game for adults, I know. But how important is that in a relationship?

And for the guys/gents/men around here: How do you tell a guy these days that you're interested, without saying... well... "I am interested?".

(Steps back, takes a seat and waits for feedback)

First off, good to see you on the forums again. Hope you are well and your relationship brake up brought you content you needed.

I think the age differance is relative. I, while like older men, cannot have a relationship with one. This moslty is due to the fact that after certain age, myself and him wont share similar intersts and/or want to do similar stuff. If hes way older then me, than most of the things i want to do, he has been and done them and it will not excite him or interest him to the extent it will me.

But this is only from personal point of view - its very subjective.

I don't really know what love is. I guess realisation that someone other than yourself is ''real''. The ultimate selflesness towards another person...I dont know, those are only my speculations.

I do believe sex plays a large role in a relationship. I think it should be a part in order for a relationship to be healthy.

Originally posted by botankus
You know you're ready if you don't feel guilty on his behalf as you embark on a venture to a new relationship.

I'm talking 0% guilt and very little thought about him.

And if you think of Bardock at all, you are DEFINATELY not ready.

Hey I find that rather offensive...it is true but still...you don't say that kind of stuff ...it hurts

Well, she did PM me and say she couldn't get you out of her head...

Hmm, not that I am the expert on this.. but an age-gap like 7 years seems peanuts to me, in case both of you are over 20.

Drawing a male's attention, that is a bit more difficult. As you know better then me, men can see signals differenlty then women intend them.
The hair stroking is a very intimate sign, use it only when your sure about your feelings.
Excessive compliments will only add to a man's self assurance, and will make him desire more from you then you are maybe willing to give at the moment.
I suggest you have a couple of relaxed cups of coffee with the guy you like, somewhere in the sun. Start a conversation about cooking and wait for him to invite you over for dinner. Agree if he does that, and in that case, tell him you have had a tough week at work and just wait what he will do for you to make you feel more relaxed and comfortable.
At the end of the date you will have a fairly good idea 'bout what sort of a guy he could be

Debbiejo> Not try to change someone... Hm, that's a wise statement. I suppose that means asking oneself if I'm in love with the person in question or an IMAGE I have of him... HM! Good point. Very good point.

Bardock> I'm just pulling your leg... 🙂

Shaber> Gestures? Ehrm... I'm certain it isn't "that" infamous handgesture there...
10 years. Yes, ok, both gentlemen fall within that age-limit.

Botankus> No, no guilt whatsoever. I went through hell and high water for him - to no avail. So that is that. Period.

Lil Bitchiness> That the other person is "real"? Hm, what a strange and poetic way of putting it. But it does make some sense I think.
Yes, the sex-thing is as important as I thought.

Pandemoniac> I think none of us are experts. I, at least, am not, not at all. That's why I ask...

(Goes back to sit and contemplate... )

Originally posted by Bardock42
Hey I find that rather offensive...it is true but still...you don't say that kind of stuff ...it hurts

😆 Yeah...he has that effect on people...

Originally posted by botankus
Well, she did PM me and say she couldn't get you out of her head...

Yes I have that effect on people...they usually think aboot how to kill me....some just can't get my stupidity out of their head......but at least the remember me ...

[edit] Goshdarnit...I can not spell .......

Yes...I am used to it...botankus "pulls my leg" whenever he sees me post ....

Poor Omega...

Gorgeous, smart, and a hell of a conversationalist.....and you're looking for advice?

Want advice? Don't take advice from other people. Make up your own decisions, decide your own actions...the RIGHT guy will fall in love with you for who you are, not who you try to be.

As someone said before, you don't look for love, love finds you.

That's the best advise....DON'T GO LOOKIN....it'll fall in your lap.