Lance's Mindless Ramblings

Started by LanceWindu6 pages

No I did not!!!

BTW Lance's Mindless Ramblings took the day off yesterday because our computer crashed and we had to delete all of our programs. This is the first I've been able to get on.

I think your brain might hav had an overload too 😄 😎

Not yet! 😄

bzzzzzzzzzzzz

finti, you really need to do something about that bee's nest growing off the side of your head. Its rather annoying.

Never heard of Medusa huh?

That was snakes. 🙄

oh so Medusa had no kins

Now how could bees and snakes be kin ?

I can't want to hear this analogy. On second thought, save it for the next transatlantic. 😉

😉

🙄

You'll get dizzy if you keep doing that Rex.

Dizzy I'm so dizzy, my head is spinnin'
Like a whirlpool, it never ends
And it's you, girl, makin' it spin
You're makin' me dizzy" - Tommy Roe

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on
airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Yerss, I must congratulate you, this is the most sensible post you have ever made, it's such a shame you were not trying to be sensible.

No seriously, these are good ones, I especially like the Practising doctor one, this is something I have worried about for years.

The one about Congress was the best.

I'm going to be a sad b*stard and answer these - and thats only because I've got nothing to do 'cos 95% of people here are on strike...

>Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Because our skin tries to protect us by releasing colored pigments.

>Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
No idea, ask a woman.

>Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Because theres no such thing as a psychic.

>Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
I guess you could call it Abrev'

>Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
They use practice in the context of doing something regularly.

>Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Because you have to Start the Shutdown process.

>Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
If you buy cheap stuff you get cheap stuff.

>Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
A broker is someone manages or arranges stuff.

>Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Because there are more an average number of cars.

>Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Mouse-flavored equals taste of meat - so could be anything. Plus no owner would feed its cat mouse mince, even if it was available.

>When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Dogs?

>Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Because God told him to take two of each animal.

>Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
If you're going to do something - then do it right.

>You know that indestructible black box that is used on
airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Because its not possible.

>Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Because flesh doesn't shrink when wet.

>Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
The 'a' before part inverts the meaning. i.e. asynchronous and synchronous have opposite meanings.

>If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Possibly.

>If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Because that is where the plans meet.

brilliant! people ruining the jokes are the funniest!

*sigh*
I'm just going to sit in the corner overthere and start crying
🙁

*consoles yers*

I liked it.