What NOT to say on first dates

Started by Mr. Bacon86 pages

"hold on my ex is on the phone"

Don't say a joke like the folowing...:

Two drunks were trying to figure out how to get some alcohol for free. They only had a dollar in change between them. "I've got it, follow me." said the first man. They went to a hot dog stand and bought a dog and threw away the bun. "We'll go into a bar and order drinks, and when the bartender asks for money, I'll unzip my fly and pull out the hot dog. You drop to your knees and pretend to suck me off." The second man agrees to this and they start their rounds. When they get to the bar, they sit down and have a beer. The bartender tells them, "That will be three dollars." The first man stands up and upzips his fly. The second man drops to his knees and starts sucking on the hot-dog. "You faggots!" screams the bartender. "Get the hell out of here!" They run out and go to another bar and order drinks and when the bartender asks for money, the first man unzips his fly, and the second man drops to his knees. The bartender throws them out. After the sixth bar the second man complains, "Man this isn't working out so well, My knees are killing me!" "You think you've had it bad," the first man exclaims. "I lost the hotdog four bars ago!"

Never ask if she spits or swallows, it will get you a drink in the face or a slap, and/or both. 😐

this is common sense but never jump on the table, take down your trousers and randomly masterbate in her face. 😐

experience?

An amazing fact: some guy actually DO NOT like to be groped in "their area..."

Originally posted by Spideys Sister
An amazing fact: some guy actually DO NOT like to be groped in "their area..."

You mean the guys who like to insert needles into their areas and never take them out, right? 😐

Originally posted by Council#13
You mean the guys who like to insert needles into their areas and never take them out, right? 😐
actually, I know someone that has a penisring and he actually likes being groped.......i think..........of course he thinks he's a vampire too so I guess you could call him weird 😄

i tried this once and believe me IT DOESNT WORK:
anyway, Guy: "thats some pretty fine boobs you got there" Girl: "ehh thanks I guess" Guy: "can i touch?" Girl: "I'd rather you didnt" Guy waits till later in the date (which has been awkward) and gets really really drunk and then tries to make love to the woman (who doesnt really feel like it). Girl: "wtf are you doing?!" Guy being really drunk tries to shut the b!tch up by putting his balls in her mouth.

anyway i know thats quite long but you have to try it (if you are a guy) its so f*cking funny, watching everyone in the restaurant look very weirdly at you, and one time someone phoned the police screaming rape

Guy: "wanna see my cock?"

Girl: *throws drink in date's face*

Guy: "What, it's a chicken?"

"You've got a lovely Adam's Apple...wait, you're supposed to be a woman." firefirefireph

'Hey Do you want to meet my boyfriend '

I hope your as good as your mother in bed.

Originally posted by LanceWindu
"You've got a lovely Adam's Apple...wait, you're supposed to be a woman." firefirefireph
that reminds me of one day in the hall one of the preps was talking to her friends and (I overheard because she is louder than a sonic boom) she said "he just crushed my adam's apple" hysterical

" Hey! Sorry im late! My herpes results just came in, and i had to pick up the perscription "

Originally posted by Floigen
Guy being really drunk tries to shut the b!tch up by putting his balls in her mouth.

😐

Originally posted by ladygrim
'Hey Do you want to meet my boyfriend '

oucch!
lol.

ha ha ha these are great

thanks most are my idea's carefully put into other people's heads making everyone think i own.

Girl: "strip and put this on" *holds up a sock* "we will be role-playing and you are a member of the Red Hot Chili Peppers" 😄