Would the fact that, the girl you wanted badly had a boyfriend, stop you?

But, let's not forgt that men do that whole "staying in a LTR because it's comfortable" thing too. Let's say this guy isn't the total bastard that he's being made out to be, just for arguments sake. Maybe he's still in the relationship, despite her need to be "all over him and vice versa". Maybe he's like me in that respect. Maybe he loves his relationship, but things don't need to be so intense all the time.

I've been in relationships where there were times I wanted to strangle the other person because they NEEDED to express being "in-love" ALL THE TIME>

There is nothing that kills a relationship for me more often than that. This over whelming white-on-rice aspect.

Look at my current relationship. Sure, I live in San Francisco, the gay capitol of the country. I love that I can wlk down the street and hold my boyfriends hand, but that doesn't mean I want to do it all the time. Just becuase you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD do something.

Originally posted by GCG
coffee1 ah huh....yeah, hmm-uh

😂

I edited ; now its better

Originally posted by Capt_Fantastic
I've been in relationships where there were times I wanted to strangle the other person because they NEEDED to express being "in-love" ALL THE TIME>

been there 🙄

then you have to end up explaining why you dont like being clingy 24/7, it always ends with the classic whine "are you ashamed of me?" and you so want to say "well...i WASNT...but im getting there"

Originally posted by PVS
been there 🙄

then you have to end up explaining why you dont like being clingy 24/7, it always ends with the classic whine "are you ashamed of me?" and you so want to say "well...i WASNT...but im getting there"

LOL...I'll have to remember that one.

More often in my relationships, it's "don't you love me anymore?"

<---"No, not really."

Originally posted by FistOfThe North
Would the fact that the girl you wanted badly had a boyfriend, stop you from getting her to be with you?

The "stop you from getting her to be with you" makes me wonder are we talking chloroform and rope? Or some manner of mind control....

Still, it depends really on what kind badly wanting this was. If it was say purely physical then I probably wouldn't do anything, not interesting in breaking up a couple so I could get her to sleep with me. If it was some kind of "love" well, I would want what was best for her, is she was happy with who she was with then I might not say anything, although then again I might just make it clear I have feelings for her, no pressure, the just getting it of my chest kind of thing. Her choice, once again the whole "getting her to be with you" just sounds a bit odd.

But yes, the boyfriend issue would influence my decision.

Originally posted by Capt_Fantastic
I've been in relationships where there were times I wanted to strangle the other person because they NEEDED to express being "in-love" ALL THE TIME>

Oh yeah, I'm there right now. I've got to the point where when she tells me she loves me, I very sarcastically say "Ohhhhh, thank you!". She then hits me and I tell her I love her too. The End.

Nothing strengthens a relationship like sarcasm and slapstick violence it seems.

Originally posted by FistOfThe North
Would the fact that the girl you wanted badly had a boyfriend, stop you from getting her to be with you?

It generally depends on the relationship of the girl and the guy. Storm had a relationship with another guy when I met her, never stopped me. Truth be told when you haven't seen your boyfriend in over a month I don't consider that a relationship worth backing down for.

Yeah know I never got fired up about trying to sleep with a girl that had a boyfriend............regardless of why should would justify the reason. If she would do it to him she would do it to you in my opinion.............unless I never had to listen to her talk again then just a one nighter sure🙂

The talk of prospective betrayal is interesting (getting a girl away from her boyfriend, can you trust he not to do the same to you) but what if the situation was reversed? A girl wants a guy who has a girlfriend? Does the gender shift change how people react? Are girls, in such a case as cut throat as guys, more so, less so, equal?

I have cheated and been cheated on. I would never cheat now it's a sign of immaturity and insecurity.

I wouldn't care as I don't have much respect for most people. 😈

Originally posted by PVS
how does he mentally abuse her?
did she tell you this or is this your own conclusion?

Look. I know he is doing it. Girls aren't suppose to always look sad when with their boyfriends. He Pays Her No Mind at all. period. And yes it is my business when a girl I like (and happen to know, we've talked before) is being mistreated like that. Like we all hang out, a bunch of us, and I see it all the time with them. How he practically the whole night says not one word to her. Not 1. And it's happen on more than 1 hang out night. They never act like or even look like a couple. OK, I understand that it may get corny or too extreme for couples to play the lovey dovey game with each other but it's like he's totally uninterested with her. He always walks in front of her...w/e i duno. And trust me I'm not obsessed like im not snooping on a daily basis. I glance at her or both of them and when appropriate and i see the pain., it's just...i duno. i dont like his mis-appreciation of her from what I've been seeing for a while now. If they are as unhappy looking as they seem in public, then somethings wrong in private. I'm inclined to step in. I'll be doing her a favor. I'll be better than him. I don't care what anyone on here says, I like her and I want her.

Originally posted by FistOfThe North
Look. I know he is doing it. Girls aren't suppose to always look sad when with their boyfriends. He Pays Her No Mind at all. period. And yes it is my business when a girl I like (and happen to know, we've talked before) is being mistreated like that. Like we all hang out, a bunch of us, and I see it all the time with them. How he practically the whole night says not one word to her. Not 1. And it's happen on more than 1 hang out night. They never act like or even look like a couple. OK, I understand that it may get corny or too extreme for couples to play the lovey dovey game with each other but it's like he's totally uninterested with her. He always walks in front of her...w/e i duno. And trust me I'm not obsessed like im not snooping on a daily basis. I glance at her or both of them and when appropriate and i see the pain., it's just...i duno. i dont like his mis-appreciation of her from what I've been seeing for a while now. If they are as unhappy looking as they seem in public, then somethings wrong in private. I'm inclined to step in. I'll be doing her a favor. I'll be better than him. I don't care what anyone on here says, I like her and I want her.

you have offered evidence that she is depressed. not abused.
the rest is your own assumption. you could be right...could be wrong.
but that is based on pure circumstance which is beyond your knowledge.

i would see a girl in a cold dead end relationship who refuses to leave.
people like me say its her own damn fault for staying.
people like you make exuses for her and blame it all on some guy, blindly tagging the label of 'abuser'. but why? because you want her, therefore you feel the need to

1-put her on a pedestal as a helpless damsel in distess
2-place all blame on the guy, so he can play the part of the monster
3-regard yourself as the knight in shining armor who will same the damsel from the clutches of the monster.

quit the role playing and wake up.

if you think she's being abused than you should talk to her, or talk to those close to her. not to exchange gossip for the hope of personal gain, but with the hopes that someone will be able to find the truth and if need be, help get through to her. if she is being abused she needs supportive friends, not a white knight with a boner.

Originally posted by PVS
it could very well be that he abuses her, just as it could very well not be.

you have offered evidence that she is depressed. not abused.
the rest is your own assumption. you could be right...could be wrong.
but that is based on pure circumstance which is beyond your knowledge.

i would see a girl in a cold dead end relationship who refuses to leave.
people like me say its her own damn fault for staying.
people like you make exuses for her and blame it all on some guy, blindly tagging the label of 'abuser'. but why? because you want her, therefore you feel the need to

1-put her on a pedestal as a helpless damsel in distess
2-place all blame on the guy, so he can play the part of the monster
3-regard yourself as the knight in shining armor who will same the damsel from the clutches of the monster.

quit the role playing and wake up.

if you think she's being abused than you should talk to her, or talk to those close to her. not to exchange gossip for the hope of personal gain, but with the hopes that someone will be able to find the truth and if need be, help get through to her. if she is being abused she needs supportive friends, not a white knight with a boner.

An amusing post indeed. But I like her. Genuinely. Thats the thing. And I don't want her just to screw her dude get your brains out of the gutter..Maybe she stays because she feels that it's the only good thing out there. That thats the best she can do.

And yes as Corny as it sounds she could be a damsel in distress. I do blame him for not maintaining. He's not a monster, he's not hitting her, (I don't think.) but he has an ugly way of showing his boyfriendness.

I'm not here to save anyones life here, relax guy, your making it seem like it's a fatal crisis of life and death proportions. I just truly feel it inside that I need to step in, is all. I not trying to play the knight in shining armor. I may very well get rejected, who knows. I'm prepared for the consequences cause to me the reward outweighs it. lolol your funny. What do you think I am Shrek? anyway, I am awake. And I now know what must be done. I don't care.

She really should take responsibility for herself for sure......Maybe she suffers from low self esteem.

Originally posted by FistOfThe North
I'm not here to save anyones life here, relax guy, your making it seem like it's a fatal crisis of life and death proportions.

then why say "abuse"? if it is then it very well may be life and death.
abusive relationships, even mental, can end up with the victim hurting or even killing themselves. not to mention that most physically abusive relationships evolve from mentally abusive ones. first mental dominance/control is established and then comes the physical abuse. so yes, when you come on here and use the word "abuse" i do see it as that severe.

and if it is abuse, its your responsibility as a friend to help her any way you can, and at the same time not endanger her. if you establish a role as potential suiter than you can quite possibly spike the element of jealousy on his part, which is a strong driving force for abuse as well. the priority should be helping her out. period. not saying its wrong to have feelings for her, but to incorporate those feelings into some plan and placing that at equal prioity is very selfish.

Originally posted by debbiejo
She really should take responsibility for herself for sure......Maybe she suffers from low self esteem.

Yea but not all girls feel as strong as others. And she doesn't suffer from low self esteem because she's only like that around him. Like I've spoken to her before a while back not that long ago like the end of Nov. and she seemed cool to me. No signs of depression. She would joke. But whenever he was around it's like she changes. as if she's not compelled to say anything out of...i duno. fear? lack of motivation? Everytime I see the guy I inconspicuously shake my head and keep doing w/e im doing. I mean I don't know him. I don't nothing him. I just see what i see, and I'm not in accordance with it and i've made my mind up, debbiejo.

I'm gona go for it.

Originally posted by FistOfThe North
Yea but not all girls feel as strong as others. And she doesn't suffer from low self esteem because she's only like that around him. Like I've spoken to her before a while back not that long ago like the end of Nov. and she seemed cool to me. No signs of depression. She would joke. But whenever he was around it's like she changes. as if she's not compelled to say anything out of...i duno. fear? lack of motivation? Everytime I see the guy I inconspicuously shake my head and keep doing w/e im doing. I mean I don't know him. I don't nothing him. I just see what i see, and I'm not in accordance with it and i've made my mind up, debbiejo.

I'm gona go for it.

If you're gonna talk to her and care for her...Just keep her in mind when it comes to possessive, jealous guys...yep.