okay, inspiration struck and i am but a servant to it, so here is my offering to the POTC musical. ***Warning: hard PG-13 for implied..er...stuff***
Director: Brit *snaps*
Assistant Director: Here, Jaeh.
Director: Gov. Swann needs to be locked in his room for this number, he might have a heart attack if he sees lizzie in this scene.
Assistant Director: Guards! Take him away to his dressing room.
*EIC officials escourt Gov. Swann to his dressing room with doughnuts and hot starbucks coffee -yum*
Assistant Director: Okay, here are the costumes for everybody. Jack, wear your normal costume, just open your shirt a bit more, okay?
Jack: This okay?
Director: *drools*
Assistant Director: Oh yes.......
Lizzie: *snaps fingers*
Directors: *awake from Jack-enduced -euphoria-trance*
Assistant director: Where was I? Ah, yes. Lizzie, here's yours: http://www.wickedtemptations.com/c7-np4178j1.html
Jack: I want to renegotiate my contract. Can we work something in where I can keep Lizzie's costumes *wiggles eyebrows*
Director: Anything for the Captain!
Lizzie: Yay!
Assistant Director: *puts on leather gloves and earplugs* Ana, here's yours: http://www.wickedtemptations.com/c7-b53025j1.html
Ana: Noooooooooooo!
Director: Ana, we're not going through this again, but on the bloody dress! We'll give you a tomboy song later?
Ana: Really?
Director: Yes, now get changed!
Assistant Director: Is it safe yet?
Will: Yes. What about my costume?
Assistant Director: Put on costume you had at the very end of the third movie, okay? Giselle and Scarlette? Here are yours: http://www.lollipoplingerie.com/stat/GAC6-83227.html
Scarlette and Gissele: Ooh, nice!
Assistant Director: Alright, this song is from a spoof movie called "Epic Movie" so lets keep up the energy with this song. The title is called "Lazy Pirate Days". For the first time, Jack and Will, you're going to be backup singers. This is Marty's moment to shine with his new style, savvy? Hit it!
*music rap beat begins*
Marty:
Yo, Yo, Yo, Chech this out.
Lazy pirate day, set sail in the afternoon.
Jack and Will
We got these *AWEsome* grillz from melted dabloons!
Marty:
I named my ship Fantasia after the American Idol Winner!
Jack and Will:
He should've named it studder! Yeah, yeah, boy! That's one big brother!
Seacrest out!
(All)
We are the Pirates (What?) Of the Carribean!
We are the Pirates (Word!) Of the Carribean!
Yes, the Pirates (What?) Of the Carribean!
You love use Pirates (What?) Of the Carribean!
Count us Pirates (What?) Of the Carribean!
Girls:
Check me out, boys, I got real big *Beep*
I know all you pirates wanna *Beep*
And thinking about putting *beep*
in *beep*
I know you're begging *beep* when ya *beep*
In *beep beep* (oohh yeah...)
Take out your swords and *beep beep beep**beepbeepbeepbeep*
Lick... *beep beep* and su..*beep beep*
Boys:
We are the Pirates (What?) Of the Carribean!
We are the Pirates (Word!) Of the Carribean!
Yes, the Pirates (What?) Of the Carribean!
You love use Pirates (What?) Of the Carribean!
Count us Pirates (What?) Of the Carribean!
Marty:
Word to the Kraken!
*standing ovation from men in audience*
Assistant Director: ummm.....wow. On second though, maybe this is a bit risque for our musical?
Director: Well, we did have Jack do a stripping song....
******
Probably horrible, but all I could think up! Don't hate me 🙂
Director: Give Jack loads of rum, we need him to do-
Jack walks in, swaying side to side, clutching an almost empty bottle of rum.
Assistant Director: I think he's already drunk enough.
Director: hmm.. riiight. I soo just going to play the song, and everyone watch him do his job------ part.
Hot in.....
So hot in herre.....
So hot in.....
(nelly)
I was like, good gracious ass bodacious
Flirtatcious, tryin to show faces
Lookin for the right time to shoot my steam (you know)
Lookin for the right time to flash them gs
Then um Im leavin, please believin
Me and the rest of my heathens
Check it, got it locked at the top of the four seasons
Penthouse, roof top, birds I feedin
No deceivin, nothin up my sleeve, no teasin
I need you to get up up on the dance floor
Give that man what he askin for
Cuz I feel like bustin loose and I feel like touchin you
And cant nobody stop the juice so baby tell me whats the use
(hook x2)
(I said)
Its gettin hot in here (so hot)
So take off all your clothes
I am gettin so hot, I wanna take my clothes off
(nelly)
Why you at the bar if you aint poppin the bottles
What good is all the fame if you aint ****in the models
I see you drivin, sportscar, aint hittin the throttle
And I be down, and do a hundred, top down and goggles
Get off the freeway, exit 106 and parked it
Ash tray, flip gate, time to spark it
Gucci collar for dollar, got out and walked it
I spit game cuz baby I cant talk it
Warm, sweatin its hot up in this joint
Vokal tanktop, all on at this point
Your with a winner so baby you cant loose
I got secrets cant leave cancun
So take it off like your home alone
You know dance in front your mirror while your on the phone
Checkin your reflection and tellin your best friend,
Like girl I think my butt gettin big
(hook x2)
(nelly hang all out)
Mix a little bit a ah, ah
With a little bit a ah, ah
(nelly just fall out)
Give a little bit a ah, ah
With a little bit a ah, ah
(nelly hang all out)
With a little bit a ah, ah
And a sprinkle a that ah, ah
(nelly just fall out)
I like it when ya ah, ah
Girl, baby make it ah, ah
(nelly)
Stop placin, time wastin
I gotta a friend with a fo in the basement (what? )
Im just kiddin like jason (oh)
Unless you gon do it
Extra, extra eh, spread the news
Nelly took a trip from the luna to neptunes
Came back with somethin thicker than fittin in sasoons
Say she like to think about cuttin in restrooms
(hook x4)
(nelly hang all out)
Mix a little bit a ah, ah
With a little bit a ah, ah
(nelly just fall out)
Give a little bit a ah, ah
With a little bit a ah, ah
(nelly hang all out)
With a little bit a ah, ah
And a sprinkle a that ah, ah
(nelly just fall out)
I like it when ya ah, ah
Girl, baby make it ah, ah
and Jack strips to it and all that, leaves the censored parts clothes on, and collapses, as he usually does.
Assistant Director: I wonder why you're always the one who gets him to do this kinda stuff and- JAEH! *fans director*
Director: *wakes up from faint* that was... soo.. hot..................
----
sorry.. I need to imagine him do all that..
I need therapy.. O.O
ROFL Jaeh,
Nah, I don't think you need therapy. If you made Jack strip completely or give out lap dances, then yeah 😛 Or we would need to post it on the orbit gum thread. Making Jack strip for a song is probably a *lot* tamer than what a lot of people imagine Jack doing in their head (ahem!) 😱 and a lot tamer than some of the things I've read in fanfics 😄
I'll post soon. My Aunt Flo is visiting and I'm just too exhausted to write anything, lol. A nice Tia/Davy piece coming up soon though!
Originally posted by savvysparrowluv
ROFL Jaeh,Nah, I don't think you need therapy. If you made Jack strip completely or give out lap dances, then yeah 😛 Or we would need to post it on the orbit gum thread. Making Jack strip for a song is probably a *lot* tamer than what a lot of people imagine Jack doing in their head (ahem!) 😱 and a lot tamer than some of the things I've read in fanfics 😄
I'll post soon. My Aunt Flo is visiting and I'm just too exhausted to write anything, lol. A nice Tia/Davy piece coming up soon though!
true... 😛 I don't think I've ever imagined Jack doing anything more than.. strip almost all of his clothes.... at least, i think I'ne never did.. or maybe I did once.. but then I wasn't really myself then.. or... was I? or probably not... 😖
will be waiting for that! as for me, I'll be thinking of other ideas.. *rubs hands and laughs evily* 😉
Okay gals, here it is. Sorry for the wait, I've just been exhausted lately. However, I hope this entry makes up for it 😄
*************************
POTC Musical Continued:
Assistant Director: Phew, Jaeh! You scared me for a minute there.
*half-naked Jack hops off stage and runs to the director and kneels over her on the floor*
Jack: You alrigh' darlin'?
Director: *dreamily* I am now....
Assistant: I think just fainted from the er...heat. I almost did.
Director: Yeah, that was probably it, it got really hot in here.
Jack: Glad you're okay, love.
Jaeh: *wobbles a bit on feet, but doesn't faint*
Assistant Director: Okay, well Jack you better get dressed.
Will: For the love of sanity, PUT YOUR CLOSE ON!!! (*holds hand over eyes*)
Beckett, Lizzie, Director: Awwwwww...does he have to? *pout*
Assistant Director: Hey, don't look at me! I want him to stay like this too, but we've got a schedule to keep to! Pintel and Ragetti are up next.
Pintel: (*offstage*) I refuse to wear this costume. It makes me look stupid!
Ragetti: How does you know it weren't you what made the dress look stupid? Its a righteous conundrum.
Pintel: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
Director: What's wrong with the costumes this time?
Ragetti: They aren't chaps clothes. They're ladies clothes.
Assistant Director: ...And?
Pintel: Shouldn't we be wearing men's costumes?
Director: Pish-posh. It'd look silly with the song.
Pintel: What song are we singing anyhow?
Director: Brit?
Assistant Director: Its called "Dude (Looks Like A Lady)" by Aerosmith. Now put on the costumes and come out on stage. We won't laugh at you...(*whispers*) hard.
*Pintel and Ragetti finally come out on stage and the open song plays*
**A/N: listen to this song if you haven't heard it, its got the best beat! **
Both: (That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
Pintel: Cruised into a bar on the shore
Her picture graced the grime on the door
She a long lost love at first bite
Baby maybe you're wrong, but you know it's all right
That's right
Both🙁That, that)
(That, that)
Pintel: Backstage we're having the time
Of our lives until somebody say
Forgive me if I seem out of line
Then she whipped out her gun (*Pintel pulls gun from hip holster*)
And tried to blow me away
Both🙁That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
Pintel: So never judge a book by it's cover
Or who you're going to love by your lover
Love put me wise to her love in disguise
She had the body of a venus
Lord imagine my surprise
*spoken* Barbossa: I didn't need to see this *puts head in hands*
Both: (That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
Ragetti: Ooh what a funky lady
She like it, like it, like it, like that,
Ooh he was a lady
Both: That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
***song ends***
*crew laughs*
Assistant Director: Okay *wipes tear* Sorry we laughed, you were really good.
Pintel: This whole idea was stupid! You got me into this! *jabs finger at Ragetti*
Ragetti: Lets just forget all about this, alright?
Barbossa: Ha ha ha, fat chance mates. I've got it all on film, AFV here I come.
Director: No you can't! Our musical is license and syndicated!
Barbossa: Really?
Director: Er...
Assistant Director: Moving on, we should give Gov. Swann another chance. How about a new song Guv'nor?
Gov Swann: *walks out in tux once again* I should think so! I'd like to give it a go.
Director: *puts in ear plugs and pulls down sleeping mask*
Assistant Director: Alright, give this a whirl. *hands over copy of sheet music*
Gov Swann: *clears throat and begins singing*
I'm Henry the eighth I am,
Henry the eighth I am I am,
I got married to the widow next door,
She's been married seven times before,
And everyone was a Henry (Henry),
She wouldn't have a Willie or a Sam (no sam)
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry,
Henry the eighth I am!
Assistant Director: Okay!! That's plenty.
Gov Swann: But I didn't finish...
Jack: Less is more, less is more mate.
*Lizzie nudges Director who wakes up with a start*
Director: *yawns* Thanks Brit, that gave me a chance for a nice nap 😉
Tia: 'Ey, I be a wantin' a new song for me an me lover, Davy Jones, eh?
Assistant Director: Oh yes, I did promise one didn't I? Alright, here is your song. *passes lyrics* Its a pop song by Hilary Duff, savvy?
Davy: Does she fear death?
Tia: *whacks Davy* Keep ye tentacles in ye own business, David. Play de song, Jaeh.
Tia: To the beat of my
To the beat of my
Davy:To the beat of my heart
I'm thinking about,
Letting it out.
I wanna give in,
Tia:I wanna go out.
Been looking around
I've finally found,
The rhythm of love,
The feeling of sound. *tia runs hand along davy's face...er..tentacles*
It's making a change,
Davy: The feeling is strange. (*hand over heart*)
It's coming right back.
Right back in my range.
Not worried about anything else,
I'm waking up
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart.
Both:[Chorus:]
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
It tears us apart.
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
Now I'm back to the start.
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart,
Tia: I'm up from my down.
I turn it around.
I'm making it back,
I'm not gonna drown.
Davy: I'm taking a stance.
I won't miss a chance.
I want you to see
I'm not scared to dance.
Tia: The way that you feel
Could never be real.
I want you to know I finished the deal.
So I'm sayin to you
I'll always be true. (*Jack coughs in audience*)
To the rhythm inside,
Davy: To the beat of my,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart,
[Both]
Away Away,
Away Away,
Away Away,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart,
Away Away,
Away Away,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
It tears us apart,
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
Now I'm back to the start,
[Chorus]
Away Away,
Away Away,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart,
Away Away,
Away Away,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart.
Assistant Director: So Jaeh, what do you think?
Director: Eh, okay. Not enough Jack skin though. He should strip again.
Lizzie: Hear hear! *kisses Jack*