😂 so true... and lol to your post! *for ssl*
thanks potcfan.. 😄
Director: Fine, Will, we'll give you a taste of what big boys feel like... alright? Now be a good man and go up the stage.. Lizzie's singing again..
Will: Really? I'm in this one now?
Director: YES!
Assistant Director: What are you waiting for? Run along.. and, oh, call in James.. and Barbossa too... bah.. call out the whole crew! and Giselle... Scarlett and Ana Maria...
Director: Girls' *cough* sexy*cough* scenes, part II!
Assistant Director: *pulls out Ana* She.. refuses.. to cooperate! *gets pulled by Ana behind the curtains again...* OUCH! She bit me!
Ana: I DON'T DANCE! Or sing! Leave me alone!
Director: Why did you bloody bite her?!
Ana: She's trying to get me to-
Director: YOU ARE GOING TO DO THIS, and that's final. NO BUTS.
Assistant Director: And because you bit me, you're wearing pink!
Ana: WHAT?! NO!
Assistant Director: Oh yes you are! *throws ana these clothes http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/pinupgirlclothing_1967_66478096 and Ana runs off behind the curtain and changes*
Ana: *coming out* You happy now?
Crew, some whistling, some drooling, some staring in awe. Jack looked shocked.
Jack: I didn't know that you look that good love...
Ana: *scowls* Whatever... Now let's just get on with this...
Director: You alright Brit?
Assistant Director: Yeah.. she didn't break the skin anyway.. and I got my revenge, so it's cool... *winks*
Lizzie: Uh.... look at what my father handed to me… http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/pinupgirlclothing_1963_84859290
Director: That doesn’t work for us. Right boys?
Whole crew nods.
Assistant Director: *hands something over* take this… http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/pinupgirlclothing_1963_84710380
Lizzie: Well… thanks… *changes*
Director: Better for the shot.
Jack: *winks at her*
Gov. Swann: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! What are you making my daughter wear! Even though she’s a pirate, I’d rather have her wear men’s clothes than… than… *indicates lizzie’s current wear without looking* that!
Director: Sir, I would not have you creating such ruckus in my musical! And I thought I asked you people to tie him up in the supply closet!
Groves: Miss, he’s been begging at us to let him go. He said he has his own number…
Director: *turns to Gov.* Alright, I’ll give you one. But only if you shut up and not complain about what we make your daughter wear!
Gov. Swann: *sees ana’s clothes and gasps* this is giving me a heart attack! I think I’m going back to my room. Call me when I’m up.
Director: Okay… *shouts* PLACES EVERYONE!
Giselle and Scarlett are wearing these, respectively: http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/pinupgirlclothing_1963_84790598 http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/pinupgirlclothing_1966_76358792 Ana and the two strumpets are back up dancers and singers.
The crew watches, drooling some are, some whistling, clapping, someone just fell down.. heart attack, we think…
Director: PLEASE CALL THE PARAMEDICS! *people took the man away*
Anyway…
Jack: What they singing? *stutters, so many.. hot.. girls!*
Director: Candyman, Christina Aguilera…
Jack: In that case… I could be your candyman love… *whispers to lizzie*
Lizzie and back-up: *all smirk and starts* Candyman, candyman
Will: Elizabeth! WHAT THE BLOODY ARE YOU WEARING?! .. I… I like it… *it’s the rum. 😄 *
Lizzie: *blows Will a kiss* Sweet, sugar, candyman
Lizzie: I met him out for dinner on a Friday night
He really got me working up an appetite
*traces Jack’s arm* He had tattoos up and down his arm
There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm
He's a one stop shop, makes the (word excluded for general reasons 😛 ) drop
He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman
A sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman
Back-up: Ooh, yeah, yeah
Lizzie: He took me to the Friday Club at Hollywood & Vine
We drank champagne and we danced all night *flashback to Jack and lizzie dancing around bonfire on the island*
We shook the paparazzi for a big surprise (a big surprise) *pulls out James and almost kisses him*
Director: CUT!
Lizzie: Anything wrong?
Assistant: James can’t be touched. Sailor already owns him… He could be in this production, but scenes like that are forbidden with him…
Lizzie: Oh. Alright… well, take it away, ana!
Ana: The gossip tonight will be tomorrow's headlines
He's a one stop shop, makes my cherry pop
He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman
Sturmpets: ooh yeah
A sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman
Lizzie and back-up: Shoo-Doo-bee-do-wee-dop-bop-shoo-be-wow-ba-wow (repeat)
ba-wow
*Jack dances with liz, ana with will, giselle with Barbie and scarlett with gibbs.. James pulls up sailor[sailor, we love you! 😄 😉 )
Liz: Hey, yeah
Ana: Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah ohhhhhhh
Giselle: He's a one stop shop
Scarlett: makes my cherry pop
Lizzie and Back-up: He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman
Ana: Oh!
Lizzie: A sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman
Ana: Whoa, yeah
Lizzie: Well, by now I'm getting all bothered and hot
When he kissed my mouth he really hit the spot *flash back to ALL lizzie’s kisses… except sao feng’s*
He got lips like sugar cane, oh
Good things come for boys who wait
Barbie: Come wit’ me… (disturbing, I know)
Giselle: *pushes him playfully* Candyman *scarlett joins Giselle* Candyman
Jack: Bubbly hot Lizzie darling…
Lizzie: *blows him a kiss* Candyman, candyman
Strumpets: Sweet, sugar, candyman
Lizzie: He's a one stop, gotcha hot, makin' all the (excluded 😛) drop *ruffles Jack’s hair*
Strumpets: Sweet, sugar, candyman
Ana: He's a one stop, got me hot, makin' my "uh" pop *lizzie blows a kiss to will*
Strumpets: Sweet, sugar, candy man
Lizzie and Ana: He's a one stop, get it while it's hot, baby don't stop *ana slaps gibbs for no reason*
All including crew chants: Sweet, sugar
Lizzie: He got those lips like sugar cane
Good things come for boys who wait
Ana: He's a one stop shop with a real big "uh"
He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman
Giselle: Say what
Lizzie and Ana: a sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman
Scarlet: Say
Lizzie and Ana: a sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman
Scarlet: wooo
Lizzie and Ana: A sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman
Lizzie: Oooh, whoa
Strumpets with Ana: Candyman, candyman
Candyman, candyman
Candyman, candyman...
All with crew: Candyman, candyman
Candyman, Candyman...
Jack: Be my candy lizzie…
Will: Or be mine…
James: you’re ALREADY mine, sailor.. [again, sailor, we love you!]
Gibbs: Well slap me thrice and hand me to my momma! *whistles to the girls*
Crew cheers.
Director: *claps* yay you guys! I see you people are getting quite good at this!
Ana: And I still can’t believe I wore this.
Assistant Director: and I still can’t believe you actually did that.
Director: You’re not alone, Brit.
Ana: I know.
----
I hope y’all enjoyed that number… 😂 it’s kinda naughty again.. will be toning down later for the gov’ner.
😄 Assistant D, ssl, brit,. Whatever you want me to call you, think you can make one for tia lol?
ROFL, Jaeh! Tis' perfect! I love how well you write my character, lol. You made Ana bite me!!! I may have deserved that for making Barbossa whip off his shirt and blind you - hahaha. However, I couldn't use the links to the costumes, could you repost them? Thanks, dear! 😄
I'll think up a good song for Tia and post it asap 😉
Oh, Thanks Sif! 😄
******
POTC Musical Continued:
Assistant Director: Once again, great job peeps.
Marty: (dressed like this:http://thumbnail.search.aolcdn.com/aais/EMI/media/mchammer/0094631039058.jpg) Thats cuz its freaky freak fresh word. Holla.
Director: *puts head in hands*
Ana: Marty? What happened to you?
Cotton's parrot: Hollywood, Awk! Hollywood, Awk!
Ana: That explains so much. *shakes head*
Marty: Hey, mah sistah, you can't touch dis!
Will: Why me, why me?
Assistant Director: Okay, okay, let's keep focus here, we've got a musical to do!
Director: Um...I know that I asked you to do a song for Tia Dalma, but....*stage whispers* I want Jack to do another song.
Strumpets: How about "I'm Too Sexy"
Director: Aye!
Assistant Director: Belay that! Jaeh, he's already done a strip song.
Director: I know, its just his chest is so warm and tanned looking and broad and.... and.....*swoons a bit*
Jack: I have that effect on women.
Strumpets, lizzie, ana: *slap*
Jack: Not sure if I deserved that one.
Assistant Director: Okay, I've got a little number for you Jack. I got the idea from a funny movie called "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" (which if you haven't seen, you MUST!!!!! 😉) You're going to be up on a float model of the Pearl with Lizzie.
The song is called "Twist and Shout" by the Beatles. Go on, scoot!
Director: Costume change first!!!! Lizzie, this is for you (http://images.43things.com/entry/136446pw150.jpgz) and this is for you Jack (http://johnny-depp.org/nav/header7.jpg (with dreadlocks))
Assistant Director: Okay, we're clear. When you're ready, Jack.
*Jack climbs on to the deck of the Pearl float and begins swaying with the music*) (Note: this will read better if you listen to the song on youtube while reading, although I abbreviated the song a tad 😛)
Jack: Well, shake it up baby now
Shake it up baby!
Twist and shout
Come on, come on, come
Come on baby now
*Lizzie dances with Jack*
Come on and work it on out
Well work it on out, honey
You know you look so good
You know you got me goin' now
Lizzie: Got me goin'
Jack: Just like I know you would
Well, shake it up baby now
Twist and shout
Come on, come on, come
Come on baby now
Come on and work it on out
You know you twist, little girl
Lizzie: Twist, little girl!
Jack: You know you twist so fine
Lizzie: Twist so fine!
Jack: Come on and twist a little closer now
And let me know that you're mine, woo
Lizzie: Know you're mine! Oh!
Jack: Ah, ah, ah, ah!
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, baby now
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, baby now
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, baby now
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Lizzie: Wooo!
Gov Swann: ELIZABETH!!! Oh good heavens! *faints*
Lizzie: *red as a beet* Father!
Gov Swann: What were you doing up there?
Lizzie: Ummmmm....dancing?
Gov Swann: *That* did not look like dancing to me, Elizabeth, you looked like you were about to..*flusters* copulate with that...that...*sputters* pirate!
Strumpets: Oh, no guv'nor. Its quite common style nowadays. Its called "grinding" or summat like that.
Lizzie: Not helping! Daddy, why don't you go and get some coffee, okay? It'll make you feel better....
Gov Swann: I suppose a bit of caffinated beverage wouldn't hurt the situation...oh dear.....
Director: *ah-hem* sorry about that Lizzie, we thought he'd stay in his room. Brit! (*snaps*)
Assistant Director: Aye?
Director: Memo: Change locks on doors.
Assistant Director: Got it. Ready for Tia's song?
Tia: Bring it!
Assistant Director: Well, on short notice, the best song I could find is called "Help!" by the beatles, ever heard of it?
Tia: Nae, I'm more of a Monkee's fan.
Assistant Director: Well, here are the lyrics, do the best you can. Here's your angle: you're singing this song because you want to be released by the bretheren court, you need their 'help', savvy? Off you go...
**music plays**
Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.
When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me.
And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me.
When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these daya are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, oh.
***
Beckett: oh please, like singing a silly little song will really help the fishwife.
Norrington: *bored voice* Hang him.
Mercer: No! My Sweet! Uh, I mean...*blushing* My suite in the hotel room is out of ice, yeah....
Assistant Director: okay...... wow.
oh, I finally figured it out, something was going funny - oh well lol. Here's the link to Lizzie's costume: http://images.43things.com/entry/136446pw150.jpg (I added a "z" at the end before, my bad!)
Can't wait to hear Gov Swann's song! 😛
lol sif, i think you're right.. O.O we've turned her into the perfect strumpet... well, near perfect anyway...
Director: It's your turn Gov'ner!
Gov. Swann: FINALLY! *wearing a tuxedo*
Director: My Way, Frank Sinatra....
Gov. Swann: And now, the end is near,
And so I face the final curtain.
My friends, I'll say it clear;
I'll state my case of which I'm certain.
I've lived a life that's full -
I've travelled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Regrets? I've had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
I planned each charted course -
Each careful step along the byway,
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew,
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way.
I've loved, I've laughed and cried,
I've had my fill - my share of losing.
But now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that,
And may I say, not in a shy way -
Oh no. Oh no, not me.
I did it my way.
For what is a man? What has he got?
If not himself - Then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way.
Yes, it was my way.
Director: *yawns* that.. was the most boring thing I've ever heard in my life...
Assistant director: *stretches out and yawns after waking up* Is it oveR?
Director: *rubs eyes* Yeah. Next time, either we're getting him to sing rock music, or hip hop or pop or whatever, or just comment about Lizzie's dress.
Assistant Director: and locking him up.
DIrector: Well, Take over, I'll make up something more interesting.. i'll be in my room!
Assistant Director: Well, after that *yawn* performance, let's have Jack go again.
Will: WHY DOES JACK GET ALL THE NUMBERS? THOUSANDS OF GIRLS THINK I'M CUTE!!
Director: One difference, sweetheart, you're kinda cute, Jack is HOT! Right girls?
Girls: Mmmm-hmmmm (*head snakey movement with snaps*)
Marty: Word!
*crew alll look at Marty*
Marty: Don't fo shizzle mah izzle, just trying to ride wiv ya'll, yo!
Pintel: How come we can't understand anyting he says anymore?
Ragetti: *references bible* He's been cursed with tongues. Sure of it, mate.
Assistant Director: Jack! You're up again.
Jack: Alright, love.
Director: I love it when you say that. Well, this is a piece by Green Day called the 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams', we'll say its the time before you meet Lizzie, eh?
Assistant Director: Its really perfect for you, you've already got hot eyeliner.
Jack: Its KOHL! Kohl, people!
Assistant Director: My bad, you've already got "kohl". Just look badboyish, savvy?
*music plays*
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's (**messed**) up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I walk alone
I walk a...
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...
*hangs head as music ends*
Director: *sniff, teary* That was beautiful! *sniff* I need a moment.
Assistant Director: Me too! Take five everyone!
(*both run into girls bathroom*)
*awkward pause, Jack looks smug*
Gibbs: Awkward.....
Assistant Director: Okay, we're back. I've found a great piece for Norry again 🙂
Norrington: Bring it on.
Director: Tia Dalma recommended it (and Barbossa too) its called "I'm A Believer" by the Monkees (*note: a fantastic song if you've not heard it)
Norrington: I'll give it a go. Bring Sailor up though, so I can sing it to her.
Assistant Director: Awwwww....here she is.
*music plays*
I thought love was only true in fairy tales
Meant for someone else but not for me.
Love was out to get me
That's the way it seemed.
Disappointment haunted all my dreams.
Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
I'm in love, I'm a believer!
I couldn't leave her if I tried.
I thought love was more or less a given thing,
Seems the more I gave the less I got.
What's the use in tryin'?
All you get is pain.
When I needed sunshine I got rain.
Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
I'm in love, I'm a believer!
I couldn't leave her if I tried.
*music ends*
Director: I like it, let's do another one...
Assistant Director: Fresh out of ideas. Had several last night but forgot 'em.
Director: Okay....
Never fear, Jaeh 🙂 I've got lots of ideas this morning, so here we go....
******************************
POTC Musical Continued.....
Assistant Director: Ahem, well, moving on....let's give Davy Jones another try.
Director: Alright, i've got a song by Brian Hyland in mind, about a piece of swimwear. *holds up costume* (http://www.thisnext.com/media/230x230/Victorias-Secret-Yellow-Polka_2B2F9151.jpg) This is called a "bikini".
Jack: Ew, Slimy Git's gonna wear that? Can't Lizzie do it.
Gov. Swann: (*muffled by duct tape*) Absolutely not!
Assistant Director: Ah ah ah! Remember, Gov. Swann. "Silence is golden, duct tape is silver!"
Director: Hear, hear! Yes, fishface is going to sing it. We want to make him suffer for making Jacky suffer.
Davy: I will not wear that...*sputters and spits*...infernal thing!
Will: hee hee hee
Director: You want your paycheck, you wear it.
Davy: I quit!
Assistant Director: Too bad, we control you anyway.
Davy: Curse you! ARGGGGG!
Director: *yawn* is the 'Davy Diva Trip' over now? Good, lets get started. Will's gonna sing it because the locker is his now, you're just going to strut around the stage in these heels (http://www.dimoutshoes.com/butterfly-601.html) You'll deal with the pain. Cue music!
*Will begins to sing, Davy has back to audience*
He was afraid to come out of the Locker
He was as nervous as she could be
He was afraid to come out of the locker
He was afraid that somebody would see
One, two, three, four, tell the people what he wore!
*davy tries to strut, but wobbles a bit*
It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini
That he wore for the first time today
An itsy, bitsy, teentie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini
So in the locker he wanted to stay (Davy: Yes please!)
Two, three, four, stick around we'll tell you more
*Davy grabs towel and wraps up
He was afraid to come out in the open
And so a blanket around he wore
He was afraid to come out in the open
And so he sat bundled up on the shore
Two, three, four, tell the people what he wore
It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini
That he wore for the first time today
An itsy, bitsy, teentie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini
So in the blanket he wanted to stay
Two, three, four, stick around we'll tell you more
Now he is afraid to come out of the water (Davy: *yells* I CAN'T come out of the water!)
And I wonder what he's gonna do
Now he is afraid to come out of the water
And the poor little guy's turning blue
Two, three, four, tell the people what he wore
*Davy Struts*
It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini
That he wore for the first time today
An itsy, bitsy, teentie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini
So in the water he wanted to stay
(From the locker to the blanket)
(From the blanket to the shore)
(From the shore to the water)
Yes, there isn't any more
*music fades*
Assistant Director: Take that outa my mind, take that outa my mind (Rocks back and forth). What did I do to deserve that?
Director: *cough* Barbossa *cough*
Ragetti: I believe she meant that to be a rhetorical question.
Director: Whatever, she's okay, right Brit?
Assistant Director: Yeah, I'm okay.
Director: Right-o, lets give Jack another number!
Assistant Director: *checks sheet* Okay, he's up for "Heartache Tonight" by the Eagles. Ready Jack? The costume you've got is fine.
Jack: Ready as ever, love. Hit it boys! Girls, shake it like ya mean it!
*music begins, girls dance*
Will and Norry (WN)😖omebody's gonna hurt someone
before the night is through
Somebody's gonna come undone.
There's nothin' we can do.
Everybody wants to touch somebody
if it takes all night.
Jack: Doesn't look like it will, darlin'
Lizzie: *blushes*
Everybody wants to take a little chance,
Make it come out right.
Jack: There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
a heartache tonight, I know.
Jack: Come on, baby (*come hither motion to Liz*)
There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
a heartache tonight, I know.
Lord, I know.
WN: Some people like to stay out late
Some folks can't hold out that long
But nobody wants to go home now.
there's too much goin' on.
Jack and WN:This night is gonna last forever.
Last all, last all summer long.
Some time before the sun comes up
The radio is gonna play that song.
Jack: There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
A heartache tonight, I know.
There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
A heartache tonight, I know.
Lord I know.
Jack: There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
the moon's shinin' bright *Jack howls*
so turn out the light, and we'll get it right. *winks*
WN and Jack: There's gonna be a heartache tonight, a
heartache tonight I know.
Heartache baby,
WN: Somebody's gonna hurt someone, (somebody)
Before the night is through
Somebody's gonna come undone, (
There's nothin' we can do
(Everybody) Everybody wants to touch somebody
if it takes all night
Everybody wants to take a little chance
To make it come out right
Jack: There's gonna be a heartache tonight
A heartache tonight, I know
There's gonna be a heartache tonight,
A heartache tonight ,I know
Let's go.
We can beat around the bushes;
we can get down to the bone
We can leave it in the parkin' lot,
but either way, there's gonna be a
Jack and WN:heartache tonight, a heartache tonight I know.
There'll be a heartache tonight
a heartache tonight I know.
*music fades*
Assistant Director: I like it!
Marty: That's what I be telling my homeys, mah muzak with my slices is of the chain and freaky freaky fresh. Ya know wha i'm a saying, homeslice?
Beckett: Hang him!
Marty: No offence, mah brother, I'm staying cuz we're playing til I'm greying, word.
Gibbs: Just ignor him, he's going through a midlife crisis, or so his therapist said.
Director: Ah....
