What POTC characters would NEVER say...

lol tramps!

Director: Ahh.. Will, because I know a lot of people love you, and believe it or not, I do too... but not as intense.. and crazy.. as Captain.. Jack... Sp-

Will: ALRIGHT WE GET IT! so.. are you ACTUALLY giving me a REAL song right now?

Director: Yeah... I figure I- WE, owe you one... this is from you dedicated to Lizzie...

Will: (reads lyrics) I don't even understand half the lyrics written in here... what's a caller ID?

Director: Oh.. that.. ignore them and just... sing! (pushes him out)

Will🙁Just a Girl - The Click Five)
She's cool and she's cruel
But she knows what she's doin'
She pushed me in the pool
At our last school reunion
She laughs at my dreams
But I dream about her laughter
Strange as it seems
She's the one I'm after

[Chorus:]
Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep comin' back for more
She's just the girl I'm lookin' for

She can't keep a secret
For more than an hour
She runs on 100 proof attitude power
And the more she ignores me
The more I adore her
What can I do?
I'd do anything for her

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep comin' back for more
She's just the girl I'm lookin' for

And when she sees it's me
On her caller ID
She won't pick up the phone
She'd rather be alone
But I can't give up just yet
Cause every word she's ever said
Is still ringin' in my head
Still ringin' in my head

She's cool and she's cruel
But she knows what she's doin'
Knows just what to say
So my whole day is ruined

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep comin' back for more

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep comin' back for more
Oh, I keep comin' back for more
She's just the girl I'm lookin' for
Just the girl I'm lookin' for

Just the girl
I'm lookin' for
She's just the girl
I'm lookin' for
Just the girl
I'm lookin' for
Just the girl I'm lookin' for

Lizzie: Aww will! that was so sweet!

Will: So.. are you coming back to me Elizabeth?

Lizzie: I'm so sorry but, no.

Will: What if you were drunk?

Lizzie: Still no.

Will: I was drunk? both of us were drunk?

Lizzie: I'm not sure if i'll consider it, but if i ever do, it's the rum, not me.

Will: What if I act like Jack?

Lizzie: Still, no.

Will: "I am the greatest pirate in the caribbean! I should be called captain all the time! Lizzie, darlin', want to go back to bed again? I drank all the rum last night! Why is the rum always gone?"

Jack: I DON'T talk like that.

Lizzie: Actually, it was a pretty good impression. Good for you Mr. Turner, you're learning the tricks of trade.

Will: Thank you, 'Lizzie', love. (laughs so loud)

Jack: now we're even, whelp!

Will: haha, crazed writer!

Jack: elf boy!

Will: coward dude who saved the town from the headless horseman! oh.. wait, that's a good thing now, wasn't it...

Jack: HAHA! you've got nothing!

Will: I still have lots. Scissor boy!

Jack: eunuch!

Will: Candy man!

Lizzie: actually, he's a real candy man. I just sung a song...

Jack and Will(at the same time): Don't join this, Elizabeth(for will) Lizzie(for Jack)!

Jack: HA! Make-up addict...

Will: uhm, attention whore!

(Jack and Will continues throwing insults at each other)

Lizzie: (rolls eyes) boys.

Director: Tell me about it.

Assistant Director: They've always been like that, right?

Lizzie: Yes.

Sif: Tell us every hot detail... more about Jack, alright?

Lizzie: (eagerly nods) there is this one time....

lmao!!!

lol !!!

toldja'll I'm giving will something...

that post was for all will fans. he finally said something to jack's face.. you guys happy? 😛

LOVE IT!! ROFLBF!!!!! 😄 😄 😄

THAT WAS THE BEST!!! YAY WILL!!!

Okay, I really will right something soon, I'm just tapped for ideas at the moment...*sigh* Life does catch up every once in a while, lol.

I'm not out of ideas, I'm out of songs!

I'll be looking for more, will be posting another soon!

Ah-ha-ha! Inspiration strikes! I give you the next scene of POTC THE MUSICAL!!!! 😄 😄 (yes, I am still hyper 😛)

*****************

[ Director, Lizzie, Secretary and Assistant Director are in conversation about Jack]

Lizzie: So its one am, he's absolutely trashed and decides to mow the lawn...in his boxer shorts with the skull and crossbones all over them...

Director: Did you get a picture of that?

Lizzie: Mm-hm. I even got wallet sized! Want one?

Secretary: Ooh, ooh, me!!

*Lizzie hands Sif a wallet sized photo*

Assistant Director: *wipes tear of mirth*

Ana: Ahem.

Director: Yes, Ana?

Ana: When am I going to get my #*&!%$ song? You know the one you "promised" - no frills, no lace, no mini skirts?

Secretary: No need to get hostile, Ana.

Ana: I...want...MY SONG!!!

Director: Chill, Ana. Here it is. *hands over a copy of sheet music*

Assistant Director: And here is your costume. *hands over wrapped parcel* (http://static.anytimecostumes.com/images/products/large/021901752T.jpg)

Secretary: *references sheet* Um, Jaeh? It says on our safety protocol that potentially violent crew members aren't allowed pontentially dangerous objects.

Ana: *holds up fake gun* This is potentially dangerous? Wait..I'm potentially violent??

Assistant Director: Ana, put...the...gun...down...slowly.

Ana: Its fake!

Secretary: You could poke somebody with it!

Ana: But the lyrics say I need a rifle.

Assistant Director: *checks lyrics* Well...okay. We're good, then.

Director: Phew, okay Ana. Your song is called "One Girl Revolution" by Superchick. Its nice and...tomboyish and feminism-friendly, eh?

Ana: Aye, hit it boys!

*music plays*

I wear a disguise
I'm just your average jane
The super doesn't stand for model
But that doesn't mean I'm plain
If all you see is how I look
You miss the superchick within
And I christen you Titanic underestimate and swim
I've got the rifle gonna be myself
I've got the rifle gonna be myself
I've got the rifle gonna be myself
I've got the rifle gonna be myself

[CHORUS]
I'll be everything that I want to be
I am confidence in insecurity
I am a voice yet waiting to be heard
I'll shoot the shot, bang, that you hear round the world

And I'm a one girl revolution [x3]

Some people see the revolution but most only see the girl
I can lose my hard earned freedom if my fear defines my world
I declare my independence from the critics and their stones
I can find my revolution I can learn to stand alone...

[CHORUS]
I'll be everything that I want to be
I am confidence in insecurity
I am a voice yet waiting to be heard
I'll shoot the shot, bang, that you hear round the world...

And I'm a one girl revolution [x3]

I'm a one girl revolution

I'm a one girl revolution

And I'm a one girl revolution

[CHORUS]
I'll be everything that I want to be
I am confidence in insecurity
I am a voice yet waiting to be heard
I'll shoot the shot, bang, that you hear round the world

[CHORUS]
everything that I want to be
I am confidence in insecurity
I am a voice yet waiting to be heard
I'll shoot the shot, bang, that you hear round the world

*music fades*

Ana: *whoops*

Assistant Director: Great job, Ana!

Beckett: *sniffs* That was so impowering....thank you.

Ana: Er...okay.

*Lizzie runs up, hugs Ana and starts sobbing*

Lizzie: I needed to hear that today! That was so great and beautiful and impowering for us female pirates, Ana. *sobs*

Jack: You okay, love?

Lizzie: *sniffs* Its darn PMS, I'm just an emotional wreck. Can you get me some midol and a snickers bar?

Will: *turns red and looks awkward*

Barbossa:*turns green and looks sick*

Jack: *looks bewildered*

Assistant Director: Sif, sorry to send you off on an errand, do you mind?

Sif: Well....

Jack: It'd be a great help, darlin'. *does sexy smile*

Sif: 😱 Okay! *dashes off*

Director: Okaaaaay...enough sharing time, lets do the next number. *references sheet* Says here that I need Jack, Will, Davy and...Tia.

Assistant Director: This song is called "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin. We can only do one take on this scene, because its very expensive - we're using rain special effects in this one.

Director: Which means we get to see Jack in a wet tshirt! 😱

Assistant Director: *squees with Jaeh, then clears throat* Moving on, Tia - you won't actually be singing in this one, but you'll be dancing. 'Kay?

Tia: Aye.

Director: Time for Costumes! 😄

Assistant Director: Yep. Jack, here you go (wears this with dreadlocks: http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/allposters/27/1800234527p.jpg).

Jack: This seems somewhat familiar....have I worn this before?

Will: Move over, dude, I want to get into my costume and go home. Thanks to you I have the Hangover from --

Jack: *laughs* No one made you drink all that tequila, mate.

Will *grumbles and holds head*

Assistant Director: Here is yours, Will. (http://www.theorlandobloomfiles.com/pictures/magazine/photoshoot/gq04jan6.jpg).

Tia: Cannae wear me normal dress? Me chakras nae be alligned, an I don't wannae show me skin, aye?

Director: Sure, thats fine Tia. I just want to see Jack in a wet tshirt! Am I asking for the stars here? No. Just dance already! 😄

Davy: Do you fear death?

Director: SHUT UP!

Davy: I need my costume! Or have you forgotten so easily?

Assistant Director: Whoops, my bad. Just wear your normal..thingie...Jack's gonna have a wet shirt! 😄

Davy: *rolls eyes*

*music plays*

Will: She's into superstitions black cats and voodoo dolls.
I feel a premonition that girl's gonna make me fall.

Jack: She's into new sensations new kicks in the candle light.
She's got a new addiction for every day and night.

All: She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain. *rain pours down from the ceiling, soaking the boys as they dance*

All: She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain
like a bullet to your brain. Come On!

[CHORUS:]
Upside, inside out she's livin la vida loca
She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca
Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha
She will wear you out livin la vida loca Come On!
Livin la vida loca, Come on!
She's livin la vida loca.

Davy: Woke up in New York City in a funky cheap hotel
She took my heart and she took my money
she must've slipped me a sleeping pill

Jack: She never drinks the water and makes you order French Champagne
Once you've had a taste of her you'll never be the same

All: Yeah, she'll make you go insane.

[CHORUS]

She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain.
She'll make you live her crazy life
but she'll take away your pain like a bullet to your brain. Come On!

*strike poses*

Secretary: *walks in*

Jaeh and Brit: *faint*

Lizzie: *swoons*

Secretary: *faints*

Will: Not bad, mate. Almost every girl in the house. *does dukes with Jack*

Jack: Thanks, man.

Director and Assistant Director: *wake up*

Assistant Director: Wow, I actually got him to do that. Yay us! 😄

omg!!! that was really funny😉

"Davy: Woke up in New York City in a funky cheap hotel
She took my heart and she took my money
she must've slipped me a sleeping pill "

suits him eintirely well😉

oh...and image of jack!!!whoot!!!😉

*does Jack bow*

Thanks so much! 😄 So glad you liked it!

Oh, just realized the image for Will doesn't work, so here is another one: http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/153/424895~Orlando-Bloom-Posters.jpg

Sorry about that! Jaeh, its your turn now, lol.

ONE GIRL REVOLUTION! I love that song!

hilarious post brit.. 😛

-------------

A few minutes after the post before this...

Jack: Aw come on now mate. Ain't you lettin' it go?

Will: What?! how can I let it go! you stole the heart of my fiance!

Jack: Well if you weren't such a eunuch, you would've made a move!

Will: Well I'm a real gentleman so I wait for the right time, unlike you!

Jack: Just say that you have no idea how to make a move on women
mate. It's nothing to be ashamed of, most don't know how. Oh, wait, that IS something to be ashamed of.

Will: If you weren't my friend Jack I'd-

Jack: You'd what? you don't have the guts elf boy! 😛

Will: Why I oughta- HMPH!

Director: Stop it already! You guys are driving me nuts!

Will: Lemme at him lemme at him!

Jack: You really wanna get it huh kid?

(sif and brit tries to stop both)

Sif: Hey! why do you get to hold Jack off!?

Assistant Director/Brit: Well I was here first!

Sif: Share!

Brit: Alright. just for a second.

(sif moves over, brit doesn't move away. Jaeh jumps into action and stops will)

Jaeh/Director: And you guys left me with the whelp? Oh well. I own a whole shop of Jacks anyway.(referral to H.J.F.S.H. (for readers who have no idea what it is, it's an imaginary cybershop of Movie Characters you could hire owned by yours truly lol…located in killermovies.com’s discussion board.)

Lizzie: GUYS ENOUGH! or else neither of you gets me!

Jack and Will both settle down.

Director: (whistles) whoa. I wish I could do that.

Lizzie: You just gotta know the right words.

Director: (claps hands) Alright now. Because you guys… (points at Jack and Will crossly) keep fighting, you are singing together.

Assistant Director: That’s supposed to be a punishment?

Director: No. I just want them to work together… (grins)

Sif: Well, what are they singing?

Director: (hands all a copy) It’s a High School Musical 2 song mates… I’m gonna edit some parts though… (erases some parts of the lyrics) Here… Here… Here.. Oh, this one doesn’t fit.. alright.. hmm.. here too.. this one.. hmm… If you haven’t listened to it, or watched the movie, I’m recommending it to you… 😉 And I need Lizzie and Gibbs and Ana along with this. (thinks for a second) make that everyone.

(song - Work This Out)
Will:
How did we get from the top of the World
to the bottom of the heap?

Ana:
I don’t recall you mentioning
the villains’ such a creep

Gibbs:
We still have the ingredients to
make this whole war sweet

Lizzie:
Well, you got dirt instead of riches

Will:
And those deserted beaches

All:
Just wish I had three wishes

Jack: Don’t worry mates…

Jack:
We’re gonna work, work
work this out
We’ll make things right,
the sun will shine
If we work, work
there’ll be no doubt
We can still save the whole earth
If we work this out!

Will:
Jack, what have you gotten us into!?

Jack: Don’t worry, I will not let you guys down.

Will:
I’d rather make two dozen swords
straight just in one day

Lizzie and Ana:
That sure beats hangin’ here
And killing… undead fishes?

Lizzie: Are you kidding us?

Director: CUT! What?

Ana: Well it doesn’t fit!!

Director: Why, could you do better?

Silence.

Director: Well then, let’s continue.

Gibbs:
I needed ‘dventure’n’all, but
this ain’t worth the rest

Ana and Gibbs:
Maybe there’s a better way
to fix this greasy mess

Jack:
We’re a champion team,
a well-oiled machine,
and we’ve faced tougher
problems than this.
I know it’s a grind, but
I’m sure we can find
a way to have fun while
we get this job done.

Lizzie: So you’re saying we can do this?

Jack: Of course love! It’s us! What could possibly go wrong?

Lizzie: (catches on)
We’ve got to work, work
work this out

Jack and Lizzie:
We’ll make things right
the sun will shine
If we work, work
there’ll be no doubt
If we all work together
We can work this out!!

Jack:
Let’s do this!

Instrumental. Jack and company with crew fought with EIC and Davy’s crew.

Jack:
Tell me what you want- (off the music) the heart? (says to Davy)

Will:
Tell me what you need- (off the music) or rather WHO you need… or is it want? (Says to Beckett’s face)

Davy:
Well DUH!

Beckett:
A little bit of Jack- I MEAN VICTORY!

Gibbs: What in the world..?!?! That’s disturbing! (off the music)

All:
Victory!

Jack:
It’ll taste so sweet… (looks at Lizzie)

Beckett:
World conquest!

All except EIC and Beckett: (off the music)
SHUT UP!

Jack:
Gonna get The Black Pearl back!

Ana:
Get Jack to pay me back!

Barbossa:
Run off with my favorite ship…

Davy:
Finally get Calypso to be mine!

Beckett:
Be with Mercer forever!

All: YOU’RE DISGUSTING! (off the music)

Will:
Save my dad from the fish face freak!

Lizzie:
Have fun with Captain Jack… (winks)

Jack:
We’ve got it made!

All:
We’ve got to work, work
to work this out
We’ll make things right,
the sun will shine
If we work, work
there’ll be no doubt
We can still save the whole earth
If we work this out!
Work This!
Gotta Work This!
We can work this out!

Director: That went well... 😉

ROFLBFOF (rofl beating fists on floor) Loved it girl, "fish faced freak" -lol, you nailed it Jaeh!!

lol!! I love it
Jaeh's Liz having fun and SSL's girls fainting scene 😄

thankees.. 😄

LOL, I'm gonna fall off my chair any minute now from laughing too much *holds side* cramp, craaaaamp 😂

Sailor, Jaeh, the rest of the crew. Remember how we were talking about the cast of POTC dancing to "Hot Stuff". Dreams become reality after all! 😄 😄 I made a new vid especially for my crew at the musical 😛

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeHJSFcBMqI

I'm watching... when I can! can't.. too slow pc! 🙁

🙁 Hope you can watch it at somepoint, Jaeh - lots of yummy Jack 😄

*******************************
Assistant Director: Nice song, Jaeh. It "worked" well. (lols) Get it? *laughs weakly*

All: *awkward silence*

Assistant Director: *clears throat* Ahem. Moving on, Jack and Lizzie, time for a new song. Jack, no singing in this one, just be on stage. Costume time, line up.

Jack: I found one for Lizzie-love! (http://www.buypiratecostumes.com/uploads/sexy_playboy_pirate_costume.jpg)

Barbossa: Hm...Aye, that be the one.

Will: Uh...will Elizabeth be wearing this?

Jack: *nods, grinning*

Will: Uh...wow. *gets really red*

Director: I hate that I have to say this, but...I don't think we can actually use that costume in this number...its just a bit too risque. Sorry, Jack.

Assistant Director: This is a sad moment in the POTC Musical. *sniff*

Jack: *pouts*

Lizzie: *snuggles Jack* Don't pout, Jack..(*whispers*) I'll sneak it home and we can use it later, eh?

Jack: *brightens* Alrigh, I'm good with it.

Assistant Director: How about this, this okay? (http://www.buypiratecostumes.com/uploads/sexy_pirate_costume_brown.jpg)

Lizzie: Ooh, I like it. How come I always end up in skirts? I need to have a nice pantsuit like Ana sometime.

Director: Yeah, yeah, we'll see if we can work that in. Jack likes you in skirts, so we're keeping it that way for now. Savvy?

Lizzie: Okay (*goes to dressing room*)

Jack: And my costume?

Director: Just wear what you've got, just open your shirt a bit more 😉

Jack: That okay?

Secretary: *fans self* Moments like this make the theatre worthwhile. *sigh*

*Lizzie comes back onstage*

Assistant Director: Alright, places guys!

*music plays, Jack sits in a chair in centerstage, Lizzie walks around it*

Lizzie: Get a load of me, get a load of you
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you
It's just like we were meant to be

* Lizzie pulls Jack out of his chair and stand facing each other, holding hands*
Holding hands with you when we're out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right
And I've got someone waiting too (*they break apart*)

What if this is just the beginning
We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming

Jack: (Spoken) That can be taken a few ways, darlin'
Lizzie: *winks*

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

Isn't this the best part of breakin' up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too

It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
But wouldn't it be beautiful

*Lizzie runs hands down Jack's face*

Here we go, we're at the beginning
We haven't done it yet, but my head is spinning

Jack: *cough*
Lizzie: *blush*

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

High enough for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'
High enough for you to pull me under
Somethin's growin'
out of this that we can control
Baby I am dyin'

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you

*Jack pulls Lizzie into his arms, her head against his chest*)

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

*music ends*

Will: *points* Ah-ha! She's "got someone waiting"! Elizabeth, darling, you're coming back to me! I knew it, I knew you couldn't stand his pirate breath for long! Come to papa, Lizzie-love!

Lizzie: ...ew....

Jack: She's not coming back to you, mate. 'S just a song. Besides, *snuggles Lizzie* Once they've had Jack, there's no goin' back *winks*

Lizzie: *giggles*

Director and Assistant Director and Secretary: Awwwwwwww! Sparrabethy love!

Awwwwwwww! Sparrabethy love!