Assistant Director: Okay people, breaks over...lets get back to work!
Director: Only a few more rehearsals until opening night, and we want to get good reviews!
Sif: Hear Hear!
Assistant Director: Okay, lets see who is up next...*checks list*....Mercer and Beckett have a song today, Murtogg and Mullroy....
Mullroy: Excuse me, mum, but I've been talking wiv me mate Murtogg here and well, we think it would be best if you refered to us alphabetically.
Director: Alphabetically?
Murtogg: Yeah, eliminates Favoritisim. Call us Mullroy and Murtogg for a change, spice things up a bit.
Assistant Director: Okay...whatever, so those two *points* have a song later on, followed by a couple of Jack and Elizabeth numbers, okay?
Cast: *mumbles*
Director: *taps foot* Sif, remind them of the protocol?
Sif: *reads* When asked a question (specifically a yes or no question), unless rhetorical, cast members are asked to please respond in unison with "Yes Director" or "No Director", savvy?
Cast: Yes, Director.
Jack: (Late - Willo's "Slow Jack"😉 Savvy.
Barbossa: *glares and rolls eyes*
Jack: What? They won't be mad at me, right loves? *Opens shirt a bit and does sexy eye-smirk combination*
All Females: Awwwwwwwwww!!!! *swoon*
Barbossa: *slaps forehead*
Assistant Director: Okay, Beckett, Mercer? You're up next. Let's get you into costume. Mercer, the lyrics say that you are a waitress - so you're going to wear a french maid costume.
Jack: *runs screaming from room with other males*
Beckett: *looks hungrily at Mercer*
Director: 😘
Assistant Director: I am so...not getting paid enough for this, I am going to need some serious therapy after this. Okay, cue music.
*music begins*
Beckett: You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
When I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up and turned you around
Turned you into someone new
Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet
Success has been so easy for you
But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too
Don't, don't you want me
You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me
Don't, don't you want me
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me
It's much too late to find, you think you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry
Don't you want me baby
Don't you want me, oh
Don't you want me baby
Don't you want me, oh
Mercer: I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
That much is true
But even then I knew I'd find a much better place
Either with or without you
The five years we have had have been such good times
I still love you
But now I think it's time I live my life on my own
I guess it's just what I must do
Don't, don't you want me
You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me
Don't, don't you want me
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me
It's much too late to find, you think you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry
Chorus
*music ends*
Director: Okay...that was just scary beyond all reason...now if you'll excuse me...I need to go make an emergency appointment with my psychiatrist.
Assistant Director: *keels over from weirdness*
Sif: Ewwwwwwww...I want a Jack number! A Stripping Number! *rubs hands together*
Mercer: My love!
Beckett😄arling
(they embrace)
Jack and Men: Return, see overwhelming theatre gayness and run screaming again.
Assistant Director: Okay, new number time! Jaeh, its all up to you to salvage the musical now...at least until my muse visits again!
Okay, i really should update - so heres a biggie!!!
Assistant Director: Okay, we've had a song request from our new employee, Tramps the Personal Assistant.
Tramps: *waves* Hi!
Cast: Hi, Tramps
Jack: Hello, love.
Tramps: *looks at Jack* Oh! The heat! *faints*
Jack: Oh yeah, still got it.
Lizzie: That you do, love. *kiss*
Director: *sigh* Jack...he gets to us all.
Assistant Director: Yeah.... anyway, Tramps has requested a song for Will and Elizabeth...can you go get him, Jaeh?
Jaeh: *grumble* - fine. But I'm totally getting an autographed pic of Jack in a wet tshirt after this.
Sif: Ooh, ooh I want one!
Jack: Don't worry, plenty of me to go around. 😉
Director: Might as well bite the bit and get it over with. WILL!
Will: *is sleeping on a couch, mumbles sleepily* Wha?
Director: Will! *whacks head with script* Wake yo butt up! (*in ghetto imitation*)
Will: Ow!
Director: Ha! You deserved that for interfering with Sparrabeth! Mwahaha....
Tramps: Woot!
Assistant Director: Alright, Lizzie - come on out, lets get this number started.
(Lizzie)
Would you mind if I hurt you?
Understand that I need to
Wish that I had other choices
Than to harm the one I love
(Both)
What have you done now!
(Will)
I know i'd better stop trying
You know that there's no denying
I wont show mercy (Both) on you now
I know, I should stop believing
I know, there's no retrieving
It's over now, (Lizzie) what have you done?
(Will)
What have you done now?
(Both)
I, I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away...oh
Why, why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us, between me and you
(Will)
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done now!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done now!
(Both)
Would you mind if i killed you?
Would you mind if i tried to?
Cause you have turned into my worst enemy
You carry hate that i dont feel
It's over now
(Lizzie)
What have you done?
(Will)
What have you done now!
(Both)
I, I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away...oh
Why, why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us, between me and you
(Will)
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done now!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done now!
(Will)
What have you done now,
(Lizzie)
What have you done now?...
(Both)
I, will not fall, won't let it go
We will be free when it ends
I i've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away ...oh what have you done now!
Why, why does fate make us suffer
There's a curse between us, between me and you
I i've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away ...oh what have you done now!
Why, why does fate make us suffer
There's a curse between us, between me and you
Will: Okay, now that thats over...I'm back to the couch.
Ana: Whats up with him?
Pintel: Well...
Ragetti: There was a funnel...
Marty: And a sheer linen toga...
Norrington: Some of Jack's Private Reserve Rum....
Barbossa: And some Kraken gravy....
Director: And....so?
Will: Shut up! I've got the hangover from h--
Jack: We had to initiate the whelp into the mancave.
Marty: *does gang sign*
Sif: Okaaaaay....wow.
Assistant Director: Okay, I so didn't need to visualize Will in a toga...Jack however...
Females: *collective sigh*
Director: Okay girls, its time for a chick flick number. Guys, just sit back and watch us strut...our...stuff..
Marty: Holla!
Assistant Director: Costumes! *passes out parcels* Something like this: http://www.spookshop.com/images/01844_lacey_white_gold_wine_small.jpg
All: Hi - Hi! We're your Weather Girls - Ah-huh -
Tia: And have we got news for you - You better listen!
Lizzie: Get ready, all you lonely girls
and leave those umbrellas at home. -
All: Alright! -
Giselle: Humidity is rising - Barometer's getting low
Scarlet: According to all sources, the street's the place to go
Ana: Cause tonight for the first time
Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
All: It's gonna start raining men.
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Amen!
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Every Specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean
Tia: God bless Mother Nature, she's a single woman too
Ana: She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do
Giselle: She taught every angel to rearrange the sky
Scarlet: So that each and every woman could find her perfect guy
All:
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Amen!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Ame---------nnnn!
Tia: I feel stormy weather / Moving in about to begin
Lizzie: Hear the thunder / Don't you lose your head
Rip off the roof and stay in bed
Tia: God bless Mother Nature, she's a single woman too
Giselle: She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do
Scarlet: She taught every angel to rearrange the sky
Lizzie: So that each and every woman could find her perfect guy
It's Raining Men! Yeah!
All:
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Amen!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men!
*women all strike poses, men gape*
Ana: Whoo yeah, I'm feeling the power. *winks*
Will: I just want to know...how they can do things like that...
Jack: That, my friend, is the feminine mystique...
Assistant Director: Awww...he respects us *and* understands us. AND HE'S HOT! He's the perfect man *faints*
Rest of female staff: *clutch hearts and faints*
Jack: *slowly licks finger and touches arm, making a sizzling sound*
Barbossa: *rolls eyes*
Jack: No truth at all, mate 😉
