here's an added scene for fun, till we get the whole thing posted on fanfic...
Will: My father is on that ship. If we can outrun her we can take her. We should turn and fight!
Translation: My new all-consuming plot hinge is currently being eaten alive by starfish and oysters on that ship. Not your typical 5 star cruise line.
Jack: Why fight when you can negotiate?
Translation: People this pretty don’t have to fight.
Jar drops and crashes.
Jack: Where is it? Where’s the thump thump?
Translation: Don’t tell my heart, my achy breaky heart…
Some dude: We must have hit the reef!
Translation: Scuba suits on, underwater cameras ready, it’s time for Exotic Fish of the Caribbean!
Will: It’s not a reef. Get away from the rail!
Translation: Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night, through eel infested waters…
Elizabeth: What is it?
Translation: Oh my sweet Westley, what have I done? Or, rather, what am I going to do?
Will: The kraken!
Translation: I’m beating Gibbs out in the useless information department! Yay!
Gibbs: All guns, defend the masts!
Translation: Sweet Lord, did Will just have useless information I didn’t know?!
Will: It’ll attack starboard, I’ve seen it before. Break out the canons and hold for my signal!
Translation: It’s Captain Turner to the rescue! While you were flirting with the Rastafarian, I was brushing up on my Moby Dick.
Will: Easy boys!
Translation: Let’s wait until we’re in the kraken’s mouth before we attack!
Liz: Will!
Translation: Either kill it or I am getting into this long boat and rowing away.
Will: Hold, hold.
Translation: Seriously guys, be cool. I got this sucker in the bag.
Pintel: I think we’ve held long enough!
Translation: Because I am currently being digested!
Liz: Will?!
Translation: My biological clock is ticking and you’re playing chicken with the octopus!
Will: Fire!
Translation: Commitment? Run away!
Canons fire. Kraken goes under.
Will: It’ll be back. We have to get off the ship.
Translation: I have a plan. We build a giant rabbit…
Liz: There’s no boats.
Translation: and then French dudes come out and taunt us? I don’t think so, Will.
Will eyes the gunpowder.
Translation: I know I seem a bit fluffy, but I’m actually a hard-core pyromaniac at heart…
Will: Pull the crates! Get all the gunpowder into the net in the cargo hold!
Translation: I’m thinking rockets, fireworks, a big “I love you” sign in the sky…
Hands Elizabeth a gun.
Translation: My very own Charlie’s Angel!
Will: Whatever you do, don’t miss.
Translation: It’s too bad this isn’t archery, or I might be able to take care of it myself.
Liz: As soon as you’re clear.
Translation: I don’t want the guilt of killing a little boy on my conscience forever.
Some dude: We’re short stock on gunpowder, only six barrels.
Translation: Despite the dangerous mission, we elected to pack the waffle makers instead of the weapons.
Will: Then load the rum!
Translation: I’m not of age, I can’t enjoy it, so it’s going overboard.
Gibbs: Aye, the rum too!
Translation: There’s a good way to get rid of the whelp. Jack is going to kill his ass so fast…
Elizabeth notices Jack rowing away.
Elizabeth: Oh, you coward!
Translation: How dare you not take me with you! I had my suitcase packed and everything--- nothing but edible underwear and my private stash of rum. *pouts*
Thud.
Marty: Not good.
Translation: Shit.
Will: Pull away!
Translation: Maybe we should just surrender…
Gibbs: Heave! Heave like you’re being paid for it!
Translation: Did someone say something about heaving bosoms?
Will tries to entice the kraken.
Translation: Will is lonely.
Will: I’m over here!
Translation: I know this creature is underwater, probably can’t hear me, and definitely can’t understand English… but I’m going to make a fool out of myself anyways.
Will: Elizabeth shoot!
Translation: Put me out of my misery!
Elizabeth gets grabbed by a tentacle. Pintel and Ragetti save her.
Translation: Freud can explain the sexual references of the tentacle, while Pintel explains to Elizabeth how pirates are the best to have around in a jam.
Rifle drops. Elizabeth chases it. Sees a foot. Looks up, it’s her knight in shining armor, Jack, with a halo of light around him. Dramatic music picks up as Jack pulls out the gun and shoots like 007. Elizabeth clings to his leg. The kraken blows up.
Marty: Did we kill it?
Translation: Or shall we get out the atom bomb?
Gibbs: No, we just made it angry. Captain, orders!
Translation: Maybe we should sacrifice someone to it, and hope it is appeased… Jack, don’t pick me!
here's another.
Cut to FLYING DUTCHMAN
An interesting game of dice is going on. Fishy crewmates make outrageous bets.
Will: I understand. It’s a game of deception. Your bet includes all the dice, not just your own.
Translation: I couldn’t even understand Junior Monopoly. But honestly, this game looks ridiculous. Great idea putting a game no one understands as a crucial plot point.
Will: What are they wagering?
Translation: Jolly ranchers?
Bootstrap: The only thing we have. Years of service.
Translation: Make way for Bootstrap’s political statement!
Will: So any crewmember can be challenged? I challenge Davy Jones!
Translation: To an extreme burrito-eating contest.
Jones: I accept that challenge!
Translation: I can store extra burritos in my tentacles... tee-hee…
Long confusing game ensues. Dramatic dice shots are used. Bootstrap tries to be heroic and ends up getting locked in for life.
Jones: Bootstrap Bill, you’re a liar and you will spend an eternity aboard this ship!
Translation: Liar, liar pants on fire!
Jones: Mr. Turner is free to go ashore, the better next time we make port!
Translation: It’s really hard to find endless evil motivations as an actor. Sometimes I just want to put on some lipstick and sing about my dreams…
Will: Fool! Why did you do that?
Translation: Fool, wat up wit dat my daddie-o?
Bootstrap: I couldn’t let you lose.
Translation: You lost every game you ever tried as a child. It was pathetic.
Will: The game was never about winning.
Translation: DUH.
Bootstrap: The key? You just wanted to know where it was?
Translation: I thought we already figured out where the key was ages ago! Im so confused!
Cut to JONES’ BEDROOM.
Will sneaks in.
Translation: Hello Mr. Tentacle face. I know you brashly showed me where your secret hidden key was, and you should have no reason to suspect I might want it after I wagered my soul for it, so I’ll just clumsily sneak in here and play with your tentacles while stealing the key. Good thing you’re a heavy sleeper and incredibly stupid. Tee-hee!
Jones snores.
Translation: Why does everyone always say tee-hee aboard this ship? It’s getting old.
Long dramatic zoom in on a music box that is exactly like Tia’s locket.
Translation: It’s like the board game Clue, except way more obvious.
On the deck of the FLYING DUTCHMAN,
Bootstrap: Get yourself to land and stay there.
Translation: You are a terrible sailor, son. Sorry.
Will: They’ll know you helped me.
Translation: Somehow, they’ll make the startling deduction by remembering we’re related and often wagering our souls for one another. It’ll be uncanny.
Bootstrap: What more can they do to me?
Translation: My delivery of this line squares me up for Best Supporting Actor, for sure.
Bootstrap: Long line about choosing piracy.
Translation: I’m having a moment here. Share it with me, son.
Will: It’s not a fate you had to choose for yourself either.
Translation: All my emotional problems are directly related to your lack of parenting skills.
Bootstrap hands Will a rusty old knife.
Translation: Go buy yourself something nice.
Will: I take this with a promise. I’ll find a way to sever Jones’ hold on you. And not rest till this blade pierces his heart. I will not abandon you. I promise.
Translation: I’m going to stab the heart. Everyone got it? Good. Now please enjoy one of my hottest moments in the film… too bad Lizzie isn’t here to see it.
Originally posted by katelovespiratelmao! i wanna watch that movie now! *grabs movie*
Will: It’s not a reef. Get away from the rail!
Translation: Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night, through eel infested waters…Elizabeth: What is it?
Translation: Oh my sweet Westley, what have I done? Or, rather, what am I going to do?