***All of the gang are crowded in the hospital. Many are waiting around in the halls, whilst a few of them are in a certain someone's delivery room....***
Doctor: BREATH!
Sailor: If you tell me to breath one more time, I'll shove that stethescope so far up your arse that you won't be able to walk until next Christmas!
Norrie: *Holding sailors hand*
She means it, mate...
Johnny: *On the otherside of Sailor, casually flicking through a womens magazine*
The last time anyone said anything to Sailor, they ended up in hospital with her...
Piratediva:*Sitting on Johnny's knee*
God bless Bwa...may she rest in peace...
Johnny: oooh! I've made the top five for the hottest men on the planet!
Orli:*Hiding behind his newspaper, Crazychic sitting on his knee, too*
Where did I come?
Johnny: Sorry, Mate...I don't think they've aknowledged you as an actor, never mind a man....
Crazychic: *Pinching orli's cheeks affectionately*
My Orli's all man, aren't you my little chuckle-buttie!!!
***Sailor starts screaming again from her contractions***
Norrie: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH! MY BLOODY FINGERS! YOUR CUTTING OFF THE CIRCULATION!
Sailor: *Suddenly grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him towards her angrily*
Ill cut off your circulation to more than your fingers, in a minute! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
Orli: *Going white as a sheet...*
I think I need some air...
Piratediva: Wimp!
Johnny: I'd get him out of here before things start coming out of places that they shouldn't...
Orli: It's not my fault I have a weak stomach for things like that...I hate blood...
Norrie: oh, there will be lots of blood...
Orli: I think I'm gonna be sick...
Johnny: You pansy arsed little wimp...
Orli: First of all, my arse is not pansied...and second of all...no, i really think I'm gonna puke! -
MEANWHILE....out in the corridor;
IHeartPoky: Bloody hell...how long does it take to have a baby!
Chiki: She's only been in there for two hours!
Diddly: Yeah, she's got atleast six hours to go...
Chiki: SIX?! ...christ, we're in for along wait...
Captainjacksluv: Why? How long did you think labour lasted?
Chiki: Three hours at the most...
IHeartPoky: I just thought you gave a couple of pushes, and then it popped out...
IBD43: I'm surrounded by a gaggle of brainless morons...
Siriuswriter: I didn't even know she was pregnant...
Chiki: no, she was walking around with a watermelon stuffed up her top for nine months...
Diddly: Hey, I wouldn't have noticed the difference...
Tee_Pirategirl: *Standing with her ear to the door...*
They're kissing in there! I can hear the smacking of lips!
Captainjacksluv: They are allowed, you know...they're practically life long partners now...
Tee_Pirategirl: Not Sailor and norrie, you dolt! Johnny and Piratediva!
Chiki: Oh, sweet baby jesus and the orphans...will you give it a bloody rest?!
Tee_Pirategirl: I can't...hes mine!
BWA: And K.Fed was almost mine last night...its a pitty we didn't hook up to be honest, I could have been his next wife -
Diddly: In a long line of them...
***From inside the room, the girls can hear someone being sick***
chiki: And there he goes!
Iheartpoky:*Looking at her watching and getting out the gambling money from her pockets*
Ok...who had him down for 11.45pm?
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO!!!! Omg OMg OmG OmG!! I Love it!!!! I Love iT I Love iT!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha 😄 😄 😄 😄 😄 😄 😆 😆 😆
Omg u have to do more....this is Hilarious!!! LMAOSHIHTB!!!!
Awwwww Sailor is having a BaBy!! Poor Norrie He's trapped for life Now!! LOL!
love ur siggy mina.....
"IHeartPoky: I just thought you gave a couple of pushes, and then it popped out...
IBD43: I'm surrounded by a gaggle of brainless morons...
Siriuswriter: I didn't even know she was pregnant...
Chiki: no, she was walking around with a watermelon stuffed up her top for nine months..."
esspecially loved the first and last lines!!!
***Back in the delivery room, Johnny is pacing around impatiently, and Orlando is sitting down on the floor with a bucket next to him***
Sailor: *Gripping norries hand so tight that he's gripping onto Crazychic's hand for support himself.*
I need the drugs...just give me the godamn drugs!!
Norrie: I'll give you whatever you want! Just don't decapitate my hand!!!
Orli: *Talking in a mantra*
I saw the blood....I saw the blood...I saw the blood...
Piratediva: Give it a rest! We ALL saw the bloody blood!
Johnny: *Stopping his pacing to look at the complicated instruments next to Sailors bed...he shudders...*
I say we test these giant tweezer-like things out on Orli...
Orli: *Eyes going wide*
If you so much as touch me with those weapons of mass-curruption, then I swear I'll-
Johnny: *Clipping the giant tweezers at him meniachically*
-You'll do what?
Orli: I'll scream like a girl until you get away from me!
Sailor: *Sounding very angry*
CAN WE CONCENTRATE ON ME HERE, PLEASE?!
Crazychic: Oh come on, you can't be in THAT much pain...
Sailor: Oh yeah?! YOU try pushing something the size of a watermelon, out of something the size of a can-opener!
Piratediva: Is that even humanly possible?
Johnny: *Giving her a strange look*
No not really. It's only just been discovered within the past two billion years that mammals give birth...funny old world, innit?
Sailor: SOMEONE GET ME A BLOODY DOCTOR!!!
***Everyone looks around at Orli***
Norrie: For gods sake man, just get up off your lazt arse and find a doctor, before we find one for YOU!
MEANWHILE...
Bwa: I'm bored...
IheartPoky: Fine...we'll play a game...
a-k-a-amber: But we've been playing games for the past four hours!
CJL: What if we scare her? Do you reckon the baby would just....fall out?
IBD43: How many times do i need to tell you? ...its got to crawl out...
Chikimina: I think thats the grossest mental imagery that anyone has ever given me...
***The door suddenly flies open, and Orlando rushes out***
Orli: Has anyone seen the doctor?
Bwa: Yeah, he went that way...
Orli: What way?
Bwa: THAT way!
***And just for your viewing information...she meant the other way...***
Chiki: Whay do you need a doctor?
***Everyone looks at her***
Iheartpoky: ...Damn, and here i was thinking she was going to deliver the baby herself...
Chiki: I'm going with Orli! ...who knows where he will end up without someone elses direction...
akaamber: I wanna say carried away by a pack of rabid, scabby dogs...but i dont want to get my hopes up...
tee_pirategirl: *Intercepting Orli*
What is johnny doing? Is he with her? What are they doing? Is he kissing her? Is she kissing him? Oh my god, its really bad isnt it! I bet hes told her he loves her already, when he knows that I -
Sirius writer: I'm aware that her lips are still moving...but I can't make a word out of what she's saying...
IBD43: Its called johnny babble...it'll get you too, one day....
Chiki: *Grabbing Orli by the collar and pulling him along the corridor*
Lets find a doctor before sailor DOES end up delivering the baby herself....
TO BE CONTINUED
(Probably in the next ten minutes lmao)😄
Johnny: *Stopping his pacing to look at the complicated instruments next to Sailors bed...he shudders...*
I say we test these giant tweezer-like things out on Orli...
Orli: *Eyes going wide*
If you so much as touch me with those weapons of mass-curruption, then I swear I'll-
Johnny: *Clipping the giant tweezers at him meniachically*
-You'll do what?
Orli: I'll scream like a girl until you get away from me!
lmdfao!!!!!!!!! i couldnt stop laughing at this! dude, if Pirate Diva and Johnny are kissing ima kick your big fat sick sorry a$$! lol u so know he wants ME! lol awesome job T! I forgot how awesome u were at these!~
***Johnny is now sat there, playing with a pair of metal clampers. He is measuring the width of his head***
Crazychic: I'm kinda worried...its been almost half an hour, and we haven't heard anything from Orli...
Sailor: That boy couldn't find his way around a paper bag...
Norrie: *Sat there with his hand in a bandage*
From now on, we're taking it in turns to hold her hand during her contractions...
Piratediva: Do i look like i want to dislocate my fingers?
Sailor: Wuss...
Johnny: now, now children...lets not get into a fight...
Sailor: Oh, what the hell do you know?!
Johnny: Alot, actually...
Sailor: oh yeah? Do you know alot about childbirth???
Norrie: Lets not go here...
Piratediva: Yeah, what he said...
Sailor: Just wait until I'm back on my feet...there's going to be a hole in the ground with your name on it, Mr.Depp!!!
Johnny: Mr.Depp is my Father's name...
Crazychic: oh...Touche...
MEANWHILE...
Chiki: THIS is ridiculous...
Orli: She'll kill me if we go back empty handed...it's not my fault all of the other doctors are busy on their lunch breaks...
Chiki: But this is LYING!!!!
***Both Chiki and Orli are dressed up....Chiki is a nurse and Orli is a doctor...they both have masks on to conceal their identity....***
orli: There shouldn't be anything to it...I'll just tell her to push a couple of times...and then the baby should just pop right out of her....
Chiki: This is insane...
Orli: I just hope you've got a good catch on you...
Chiki: Why?
Orli: because when the baby comes out, it's gonna be heading your way...
MEANWHILE...
Iheartpoky: Ok...eye spy, with my little eye..something beginning with -
bwa: - wallpaper!
CJL: She's not even told us the bloody letter, yet!!!
siruswriter: I swear to god...between you and IBD43, I wonder if you have brain cells between you...
CJL: Oh be fare...they have atleast one....
Iheartpoky: Something beginning with -
IBD43: 'W'?
Iheartpoky: Yes.
IBD43: Just a guess but...wallpaper?
Iheartpoky: Awww, dang it! How did you guess?!
***A familiar doctor and nurse walk past them and into the delivery room...***
siriuswriter: I could have swore i knew those overalls...
IBD43: Well you know...every doctor in America practically ownes a pair...
MEANWHILE...
Sailor: OH THANK GOD!! Doctor, I need drugs!
Norrie: Me too!
Johnny: Me three!!! ...just for the fun of it!
Orli/doctor: *Pulling on a pair of latex rubber gloves*
Right then...lets see what we can do...
crazychic: *To Chiki/nurse*
Is the doc alright? ...he looks a little ...scared?
Chiki: Wouldn't you be, if you had to look down as sailors vag-
Norrie: WILL YOU STOP SQUEEZING MY BLOODY HAND!
Sailor:You gave it to me to hold!
Norrie: I gave you the one that wasn't broken!
Sailor: oh...get over it!!!
***Orli/doctor approaches the bed, closing his eyes to stop himself from beind sick. He slowly opens one eye and looks down to that part of Sailor that he shouldn't be looking at...***
Orli/doctor: Oh for the love of god! ITS DISGUSTING!
Piratediva: Its childbirth...its completely natural...
Sailor: But he does have a point...it IS disgusting...
Chiki/nurse: *Standing behind orli/doctor and gulping*
Erm...Orli-I mean..Doctor...I think I can see the head...
Orli/Doctor: What the hell do you want me to do about it? What Am I, a doctor?!
***Everyone looks around at him. He looks down at his costume***
Orli/doctor: Oh....oh, sh!t....
TO BE CONTINUED (AGAIN!)
For the last time, I promise!!! 😄 😄 😄
***In the delivery room, everyone besides Norrie, sailor and Orli/doctor have ran to the back of the room so they don't see whats going on in Sailors downstairs department...***
Orli/doctor: Ok...push?
Sailor: I AM PUSHING!
Orli/doctor: *Flipping through his handbook of 'labour for dummies'*
Well...push harder?
crazychic: This is absolutely disgusting...
Johnny: Really? I think its absolutely wonderful...
Piratediva: Really?
Johnny: Oh yeah...I could write a beautiful poem about it...
Crazychic: Do you have any morals?
Johnny: That depends..do you have a sense of humour?
Norrie: She's cutting off the circulation to my hand again!
Orli/doctor: Then I guess you'll be fine when you can't feel it anymore...
***Orli/doctor looks over at chiki/nurse***
Orli/doctor: Will you get over here!
Chiki/nurse: Do i have to?!
orli/doctor: Who else is going to be able to get a hold of the sprog when it comes out?
**Chiki/nurse gets behind Orli/doctor, as if waiting for a ball to be passed from the scrum during a football match.**
Orli/doctor: Ok...I'll go deep...you cover me...
Sailor: IT HURTS SO MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!!!
Orli/Doctor: ONE BIG PUSH, SAILOR!!!
***Sailor pushes herself so hard, that her left leg flies up into the air, kicks Orli/doctor soundly in the jaw...and knocks him out...***
Norrie: The doctor!
Sailor: OH WHO CARES! He was a load of sh!t anyway!!! JUST GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***Chiki/nurse sees something come flying at her....she holds out for the assault, to be catapulted through the air by the force that it hits her with...***
'WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!'
Piratediva: Its pink!
Crazychic: It's crying!
Johnny: It looks like a carebear with a good pair of lungs!!!
Norrie: ITS A BABY!!!!!!
Sailor: Well duh.....
***Chiki/nurse steps over orli/doctors unconscious body and places the baby in Sailors arms***
Sailor: ITS A BOY!
Norrie: As a tradition, we're going to name his after the doctor who delivered him...
MEANWHILE...
IBD43: Is it all over?
Iheartpoky:*Once again looking at her watch and getting out her gambling notepad and money...*
Ok...so who said she would shoot it out at 3.14am?
Bwa: I was close...I said 3.14am...
CJL: I was closer...I said 3.14 and 1/5 ...
Bwa: Damnit.....
***The girls look up suddenly as more screams are heard from inside the room...***
tee_pirategirl: You know when you get the sense of impending doom?
sirius writer: I take it your getting that too, huh?
MEANWHILE...
Sailor: ORLANDO SODDING BLOOM!?!
Chiki: *Taking off her mask*
I'm sorry! But in my defence, he made me do it...
Johnny: We'll slap him when he's awake....
Sailor: I'LL KILL HIM WHEN HE....oh....ow...OUCH!
Norrie: Whats wrong with you now?
Sailor: I don't- OUCH! -know!
Piratediva: Oh, well thats just spiffing...the doctors out cold, and the nurse has turned into Chiki! What are we going to do?
Johnny: Have you even been following the story?
Crazychic: dude, i dont think anyone has...
Sailor: HEY! A LITTLE SYMPATHY HERE!!!
Chiki: *Looking down at Sailors nether-regoins again..*
Ew....ewwwwwwwwwwww! There's something there!!!
Norrie: What?
Sailor: What?!
Johnny: eh?
Crazychic: Say that again?
Piratediva: Will someone please explain!
Chiki: OH MY GOD....YOUR HAVING ANOTHER ONE!!!
Norrie...Well...bugger me backwards....
TO BE CONTINUED( YET AGAIN!!!!)
Sorry...cant help myself lmao!!! 😄