The Unforgivable Diaries Of DMC!

Geoffrey Rush

What day, what day, oh for goodness sake what day.

Dear Joey,

I am sitting here in the courtyard of this cantina with LovelyOne and the script I have for the end of DMC. Only, I do have some revisions for this gurl to take back to TnT and Gore. I feel like I am in "Casablanca without heros" and I am only suited to be the 'Tailor of Panama'. Why?
Oh why are they treating me this way Joey.

Lovethemtigers is whistleing Zippidy do daaaa...Zippidy ayyyy... while she makes me a passion fruit drink with one of those little umbrellas.

PirateDiva is prancing her big white horse around in circles and giving me the "Rock of Eye" like she wants to sympathize with me over the script.

Willo is beside me with that bulge in her pants trying to cheer me up. You know I loved you in 'Shakespeare In Love'. I thought you
were just stupendous. Did you study the writing of Shakespeare during the time you were playing Henslowe?

Yes, my dear I did and I always thought this Pirates movie was similar to the play that Henslowe wanted Shakespeare to write for his playhouse the Rose. You know it was "a crowd tickler, mistaken identities, shipwrecks, and a pirate King. A bit with a dog and love triumphant....Romeo and Ethel the Pirates' Daughter."

Ok, said Willo, what will you do now if TnT and Gore don't aquiesce to your request?

Geoffrey Rush

Same date, different time

Dear Joey,

I can tell you this, there won't be parley. "The deepest circle of Hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers" and I feel both right now.

PirateDive stopped her horse, got down, tied the reins to the porch rail and walked over to us. TeePirate came out of the cantena and sat next to me with a big frowney face.

You know, I was hoping you would write a little sonnet for me since you studied Will Shakespeare so intently said TeePirate.

Well my little cowgirl, I guess "you've earned your spurs" during the time you have spent with me so here goes
"Tyger, Tyger buring bright
In the forest of the night
Oh, what immortal hand or eye
Could flame thy fearful symmetry" (quoted from Tailor of Panama)

PirateDiva wanted to know what I would do if they didn't acquesce to my request and I replied, "I don't know. It's a mystery."

My cell phone rang and TnT were on the line to tell me they had received my suggested revisions and that they understood my concern for not having a meatier part, but Jack could not have betrayed Will, Elizabeth could not have betrayed Jack, and Jack die from Elizabeth's kiss of death to slake her lust and drown her guilt unless I spoke the lines they had written for me.

Whoa, is this going to surprise everyone, Joey.

OMg Finally They are back....yessss thanks Calypso!!!

Geoffrey Rush

Still sitting in the shade of the cantena on the afternoon I started this
entry.

Dear Joey,

I told TnT that I was "expecting something a bit more...shiny", but they both continued to reassure me that I was the bridge to POTC 3 and people would leave the theatre wanting to come back for the last intallment. So, I acquesced to their wishes and hung up.

The gurls were all beside themselves for me and the part I was to play.
So, to reassure them that I was in agreement with TnT and Gore I just explained that "Complications arose, ensued, were overcome" and all was right with the world.

Lovethemtigers brought me another passion fruit drink, but I told her I didn't feel like an umbrella in this one. Instead she put in a shishkebob of pineapple and cherries and offered to paint a happy face on my own. So, Joey we all sat around that table drinking passion fruit drinks and waiting for the sun to go into the Caribbean sea.

Oh, exclaimed TeePirate did you see that green flash just as the sun set. Everyone was so excited we all started laughing and talking about it at once.

I told all the ladies how much I appreciated all they had done for me and I didn't think I would ever meet such a wonderful group again.

Just about that time, Katelovespirate strolled in with the newspaper. All over the front page was a article about a "Big Hairy Ape" skinny dipping in the cove with a Pirate principal named Orlando Bloom. The speculation was that someone in this pirate crew had brought a BigFoot into the island. Now is that crazy or what?

Diaries 😱

Geoffrey Rush

This day is almost over, THANK GOD.

Dear Joey,

I guess for people use to the Pelegostos the idea of a "Big White Hairy Ape" of a BigFoot is not too far of a stretch in imagination. I think I am having a Disney moment.

LovelyOne walked onto the porch and handed my script to me. You shoot in the morning at 6 am. Will you be ready? I can go over your lines with you now if you want.

Thanks, but I think I have this one knocked. I'll see you in the morning.

With that, I stood up and bid adeau to all the ladies and headed off to my bed.

I miss you Joey. I hope I sleep soundly tonight. Oh, who is that screaming now. It sounds like Johnny. I guess Keira got the clowns after him again.

😆

Geoffrey Rush

Early morning hours of the night I tried to go to sleep

Dear Joey,

This has been the absolute longest night of my life. I do my part tomorrow and I can't sleep. What in the world, the sky just lighted up.
BOOM, BOOM, rat-a-tat, rat-a-tat. Of all nights for them to be chasing those kooks in the marijuana fields. I guess they are burning that stuff now. Now won't that be something if we all show up in the morning drugged over after smelling that burning marijuana all night. Phewwww,
give me a gas mask.

I think I will get up, put on my Anamaria outfit and go to the dining trailer to eat. Maybe the air conditioner will filter some of this stuff out. Well, it's 3 am and I hate to wake up PirateDiva and Willo, but I have to or Gore will really be an unhappy Caribbean camper.

Everyone is up and ready to go in about 30 minutes and we head out walking into the compound and the dining trailer. Lovethemtigers is with us too and said "at least you won't have to eat burnt eggs, bacon and toast."

We get to the trailer without insidence and find a place for all of us to sit after going through the line.

Kev is there along with McKenzie and Lee. They all wave at us and keep eating. Oi, are they going to be surprised. In walks Keira and Orlando. She acts like she doesn't know him at all.

I ask Lovethemtigers who that is trailing after Orly and she said her name is ChikiMina, one of the crew and a darn good e-bayer too.

Well, on the set strange things happen all the time and I feel like I am in the middle of one right here, right now.

Geoffrey Rush

The morning of the next day after the night I didn't get any sleep day.

Dear Joey,

Well, I have been escorted to the make-up trailer and Ve is waiting for me. Everyone else has already left for the set and she laughs at me in my Anamaria get-up.

Looks like the ladies took good care of you while you were hid out, she says to me.

Yeah, they took extraordinary care of me, I just wish TnT and Gore had too.

Oh, It will be ok, you know that sometimes people "have not the courage to be loyal, only the conviction of their own vanity." You will come out of this smelling like a rose and not some old, rum soaked, crusty carbuncle of a pirate.

After an hour Ve has my make-up on and I am ready to hit the set, only I can't till everyone starts their lines in Tia Dalma's shack. I wait till I hear several "Aye! Aye! Aye!", and begin to move.

Tia Dalma is just fininshing "...then you be needin' a captain what knows those waters."

There is a sound of the ocean from above. At the top of the stairs, the carved door opens. The monkey chatters. Dusty boots appear as a man steps out.

The boots descend the stairs.

A barrell of apples near the stairs; a hand reaches in, takes one out, raises it ---

Geoffrey Rush

Later in the morning of the next day after I didn't get any sleep day.

Dear Joey,

It is BARBOSSA. (All the actors and crew on set are absolutely shocked and the expression on their faces is a MasterCard moment. Unbelieveably priceless.)

BARBOSSA: Now tell me...what's become of my ship?

The monkey leaps onto his shoulder. Barbossa smiles and bites in the apple -- fade to black.

THE END

_____________

I hope you enjoyed the Barbossa Chronicles as much as I did writing them. It was tremendous fun for me and great amusement in my otherwise dull world.

Oh, you ask, who is Joey? Well, as I sit here with a bottle of Yellow Tail Shiraz and a steak thinking what great fortune to know all of you, my diaries were named Joey after the kangaroos of Australia in honor of Mr. Rush.

Good night T.Maria, LovelyOne, PirateDiva, Lovethemtigers, ChikiMina, Willothewisp, Katelovespirate, Sailerleo and TeePirategirl I hope you enjoyed this too. Without you, I could not have been successful.

Oh Calypso they were awsome....Thank You for writing them....they were Funny and entertaining...and im honored that you made me a part of them....Thank yOu oh so very much....but i do hope even though the Barbossa Chronicles are over u do not stop writing these diaries...because id miss them! Please write some More!

I'm glad we got the diaries back I missed them so much, Thank u Calypso they are awesome. 😄

Ladies, is it time to start the continuing diaries in the name of AWE.

I'm ready. We need to start a new thread and let someone post it to Fan Fiction, too.

i miss T.Maria

Me Too!

me three!!!

LETS GET THIS BIATCH STARTED UP AGAIN!!!!!! 😄 😄 😄 😄

....lets see....what other horrible and completely eunichy torture tactics can we use on orlando this time.....

*muses evilly......*

P.S sorry ive not posted in like....forever!!!!!
but im back and i plan on staying!!!!!

Im With Ya!!!! LoVe!

Lets Get This Party Started....Im In Better Spirits Today!!!

Keira

day - oh dear god it has been so long!!!!

dear snuggles

i'm not speaking to johnny.

There i was last night all snuggled up nice and warm in my king size double bed, dreaming about orlando in tights and other things that give me nightmares....when i was suddenly assaulted by a strong sea-salt smell and a cool goose-pimple-like breeze ...

I HAD BEEN CHUCKED OUTSIDE ONTO THE DECK OF THE YACHT!!!

Well, obviously being pig-headed and highly irratable (which by the way comes from being born in england) at 5am in the morning, i barged my way beck through the doors, only to that the place where johnny was sleeping to be EMPTY!!!

Well...imagine my non-surprise then, when i open the bedroom door, and find him sleeping in the-bed-that-is-his-but-is-slightly-mine !!!!!

Well, obviously i was unimpressed...but seems as though his limbs were spead out all over the place, and a skinny stick insect like me would be unable to find a spot on the matress to curl up and die...

i only have one option left....

It was the sofa for me

*shudders*

you dont know what has been on that sofa....from orlando's dirty and high in calorie dorito chips, to jack's rather pert backside from when the men played strip polka! (yes...i do worry about them....)

but, having no other option i had to delegate myself...which was rather unpleasant...

and i could smell that johnny smell.....

damnit! Now i know what he smells like!!

Will my high school crush ever go away!?!?!

So i tossed and turned all night, very uncomfortable, and very pissed off knowing that HE was in the next room all snug-as-a-bug.....

When i did finally drift off, i was woken two hours later...

"You were snoring so i tossed you outside to unblock your sinuses" he grinned at me....evil b@$t@rd !

Thats gratitude for you....

😂 T. your back. YAY! 💃