Keira
Day- LOL!!
Dear Mr. Snuggles,
I really wanted to take Orlando his stuff to the jail cell….i wanted so badly to mock him, and laugh at him!
Kevin, Jack, Johnny, Lee and I were all fighting for who would get to go and deliver the news to him that not only is he being charged with molestation accusations but he is being fired from the POTC FRANCHISE!! Gore only would give 1 of us the morning off… So we drew straws the one with the shortest straw would go to deliver the news…..I don’t know why i find so much amusement in destroying Orlando’s life (even though he does that pretty well on his own…bloody idiot)….oh wait I know why its because he destroyed mine….and it was just bloody hilarious!! Anywhoo Johnny drew out the shortest straw so he’s the lucky bastard who will have the privilege to see Orlando cry like a baby!!
Oh and that’s not all….we all pitched in $10 to bribe Orlando’s cell mate to put the moves on him!! 😆 Watch yourself Orli...or should I say watch your BACK!! LoL!!
Jackie-poo
day - i wish i was dead
Dear norrie
im afraid ive come down with a very sevre case of 'man flu' ...you know, that little head cold that only effects us men...
hell, put us in the middle of hurricane alley during hurricane season and we'll come out on top...but give us man flu and it knocks us off our feet!!
im getting no sympathy from my woman...shes even taken to turning OFF the heating inside the trailor, leaving me to shiver until i start vibrating in my seat.
To make matters worse however, i was forced into giving money to the 'sad-sack' cause...apparently only $100 has been raised so far to get the whelp -
- oh sorry! I meant orlando...but its so easy to slip in and out of character with him -
- out of a long stretch in the brig...i heard about johnny taking in the newspapers to show him about the molestation charges...i just hope orlando saw the funny side of it.....and also the big red ring around the 'vacancies' for jobs at the back of the paper....maybe that would break the blow more gently to him...
I'm looking out of my window at the beautifully sunny day outside....i thought about going out and warming myself in the sun before coming back into a freezing cold shambles of a trailor...
it feels like a freezer in here...and to top it all off i cant find my pants....but i think gladys is using them to sleep on....
bloody menace!
...God was obviously not kind to sheep...i mean, who makes an animal look like a q-tip covered in pubic hair???
keira
Day - an embarrassing one!
Dear snuggles
so there i was innocently walking back to the yacht..officially now my home away from home....when i look over the rigging to see johnny swimming close to the boat.
I dont think he realised i was there...because suddenly he was diving down into the water and i am very embarrassed to say that something bare and looking oddly tanned was looking up at me!!
I SAW JOHNNY'S - must be going to nudist beaches to not have tan lines! - ASS!!!
well i ran into the yacht -literally...and it hurt, too - and then when i got inside i started hyperventilating....
didnt help that johnny walked through the doors minutes later in nothing but a teenie-weenie towel barely covering his OH-SO-ABSOLUTELY-DROOL-WORTHY body!!!!!!!
...so then i started hyperventillating again!!!
I wouldnt mind, but until all these stupid rumours about us having an affair started to circle, i didnt even THINK about looking twice at his crotch - oh! i mean him in general...
Note to self: Just shut up.
I feel like im a teenager again! ...and not in a good way!
Now i cant even look him in the eyes, and whats worse is the fact that he knows! .. i think...damnit!
johnny
day - ???
Dear Ichy
Girls are stupid!
During a card game with Kev, keira and jack last night i said we should play strip polka...fairly straight forward in my opinion...
So why in all of holy-hell did keiras eyes suddenly pop out of her head???? she excused herself to go to the bathroom...and then didnt come back again!!!!!
So it was just me, jack and kev and THAT was no fun....its times like this when i start to miss ol' sad-sack ... the good times when i could just reach out and take him under my arm in a headlock ... or the times when he was there for me to just rip he pi$$ right out of him when i was having a bad day...
yup, those were the good times....
my god, what am i saying?!!
Anyway, keira decided to re-appear from the bathroom just as the lads were leaving...i asked her if she had got stuck down the loo...when she said no then obviously it only meant one thing;
Being constapated was taking its toll
She keeps looking at me funny...i mean, i know some people worry if im gay or not, but im really starting to think that keira is starting to think it too....
i mean, she does live with me...she SHOULD know....
....i think i should go and hide the leather chaps in my wardrobe....
Orlando
Day - any day is a FREDDY day!
Dear no one
oh my god help me...
i got a letter from home today....apparently Oprah Winfrey wants an exclusive interview with me over these molestation allegations...
apparently it might 'clean up my image' ... oh dear god just end it all now!!
Freddy walked in on me in the shower this morning....and DROPPED THE SOAP!
...talk about the bums rush.....*shivers*
He got letters from his family this morning too...apparently his brother -
- who coincidentally is called 'BIG GLORIA' -
- has just got out of prison...but then went back inside again for punching the security guard on the way out....
typical.
im now currently sat here huddled in the corner, listening to freddy breathing in and out..in and out...SNORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....in and out...in and out...WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZ....in and out...in and out....
Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!
IM A CELEBRITY....GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!