willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig
Aw, I've seen the finale. Believe me, there are a few things about the series I'd change. But I will use it for some T&T ribbing.
(in the smoky basement)
Ted: So, I just want to get this out now. Keira is going to kiss every guy in the series under 45.
Keira: Does that count the penguin?
Terry: Penguin? You know, we should write in a penguin. We'll name it Jack.
Special Guest Star Cheech Marin: Hey, man, there's enough animals in these movies. Let the chick kiss humans for once. I'm tired of the girl on animal action.
Keira: Sorry, Waddles. Our time will come. (pats an invisible flipper) Not here, my love. Wait.
Terry: So, we can cross Orlando and Johnny off the list. My gut is telling me Geoffrey would just be gross and seeing how Davy Jones is of a different species...
Ted: Technically that would work if we did write in a penguin...
Terry: Keira's going to kiss Chao and Jack and she's going to look like she hates every minute.
Keira: Waddles is the jealous type. He beat Johnny senseless last summer.
Cheech: What's with the violence, man? In my day, we was all about love, man.
Terry: That's what POTC needs: love. Ooh! Ooh! Let's see what the guys have to say about it.
(They kick out Cheech and Keira and invite Johnny and Orlando to get high with them)
Orlando: Where'd this basement come from? What building are we in?
Ted: Shhh! Mrs. Matthews will hear us.
(Voice from upstairs)
Voice: You boys want some cookies?
All: No!
Orlando: (laughing) Hey, I've kissed Keira.
Johnny: I think everyone at the table has. (thinks) Oh wait, just half! Ha ha, you guys should have been actors and not screenwriters. Keira likes to tongue.
Ted: We're going to have her kiss a whole boatload of guys and then kiss Orlando again and just let the kids go nuts.
Johnny: Do I get to kiss Naomie?
Ted: No.
Johnny: Damn. (looks down at floor, then starts laughing) Oh, PS, guys, I am either engaged or married, don't remember which, to a model! Yeah, you guys should have been actors instead of screenwriters.
Ted: I've kissed Vanessa.
Terry: So have I.
Orlando: So have I.
Johnny: (starts laughing) Hey, me too! You guys have any kids with her? (they shake heads)
Orlando: Back to the movie, maybe Vanessa should make a cameo. We'll call her Pirate 69.
Johnny: Let's not do that. I like her clean. She'll look all trashy and American as a pirate.
Terry: (becoming a violent stoner) I don't like your anti-American jibes, Depp!
Ted: (comes between them) Terry, no! He didn't mean it. He's our star! He's where the money is! Johnny, tell Terry you're sorry.
Johnny: What were we talking about?
Orlando: I thought the movies were about me.
Ted: You're just filler.