Can Love and Sex be Separate?

Originally posted by Bardock42
Nonsense.

That's like you saying I love apple pie so much I will never eat cheesecake again.

If you want to try other stuff why not. I'd rather have her **** a guy and come home to cuddle and talk with me than the other way around.

Thats true but since you used the word "rather", I bet you would prefer if she didnt do it all. 😛 I agree with you though.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi

and comparing a relationship to food is a piss poor analogy.

Your probably gonna get owned for that statement. nuts

Originally posted by Alfheim

Your probably gonna get owned for that statement. yellownuts

Originally posted by Alfheim
Thats true but since you used the word "rather", I bet you would prefer if she didnt do it all. 😛 I agree with you though.

Your probably gonna get owned for that statement. nuts

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
explain.

Hes probably gonna come back and explain why its prefectly viable and call you an idiot. thorinnsrug

but we are talking about if you would be OK if your GF went out and shagged some guy, and said "It was just sex, and I love you,"

Originally posted by Bardock42
Yeah, just saying love and sex can be separate. I'd prefer her to just **** me

What you have feeling? I thought you were a total unhibited sex freak? 😛

Originally posted by Bardock42

... but maybe others even find the thoughts of their partners ****ing someone else hot.

True if it work them who are we to say its wrong.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
but we are talking about if you would be OK if your GF went out and shagged some guy, and said "It was just sex, and I love you,"

Well in this instance I thought we were talking about different attitudes to sex.

Originally posted by Alfheim
What you have feeling? I thought you were a total unhibited sex freak? 😛

True if it work them who are we to say its wrong.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Hey, its not all about sex. I like the cudding too.

and comparing a relationship to food is a piss poor analogy.

I could of course try to get a reasonable answer out of you why your girl can only sleep with you, but I guess it would just be circular arguments over and over.

Something like "She can't sleep with another person because I don't want that and I don't want that she sleeps with another person because it is wrong to sleep with another person when you are in a relationship and it is wrong because I don't want that she sleeps with another person when in a relationship..."

It probably comes down to "RJ doesn't want his girl to **** someone else for jealousy reasons" ... and that's fine, whatever gets you through your day. But just don't tell people that your way is better without any reasons.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
thats the whole point of the debate, to point out our opinions.

Yeah I know.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Well, we do have very different views on relationships I suppose. I was just answering the question.

I could of course try to get a reasonable answer out of you why your girl can only sleep with you, but I guess it would just be circular arguments over and over.

Something like "She can't sleep with another person because I don't want that and I don't want that she sleeps with another person because it is wrong to sleep with another person when you are in a relationship and it is wrong because I don't want that she sleeps with another person when in a relationship..."

It probably comes down to "RJ doesn't want his girl to **** someone else for jealousy reasons" ... and that's fine, whatever gets you through your day. But just don't tell people that your way is better without any reasons.

There you go Rogue.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Well, we do have very different views on relationships I suppose. I was just answering the question.

I could of course try to get a reasonable answer out of you why your girl can only sleep with you, but I guess it would just be circular arguments over and over.

Something like "She can't sleep with another person because I don't want that and I don't want that she sleeps with another person because it is wrong to sleep with another person when you are in a relationship and it is wrong because I don't want that she sleeps with another person when in a relationship..."

It probably comes down to "RJ doesn't want his girl to **** someone else for jealousy reasons" ... and that's fine, whatever gets you through your day. But just don't tell people that your way is better without any reasons.

and you never answered my question.

Originally posted by Alfheim
Yeah I know.

There you go Rogue.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
dude, thats part of being in a committed rrelationship, being committed to your partner. most people with half a brain would agree with it. those who dont? swingers. Its not about jealousy, its about trust and respect.

and you never answered my question.

Also, what was your question?

Originally posted by Bardock42
I feel like pointing out to you that I did not comment on the analogy, even though I think it is viable as well as not calling him an idiot.

True but you said what I thought you would say and I sense in Rogues last post that this debate might get ugly.....eventually 😐

Originally posted by Alfheim
Hes probably gonna come back and explain why its prefectly viable and call you an idiot. thorinnsrug

Originally posted by Alfheim
True but you said what I thought you would say and I sense in Rogues last post that this debate might get ugly.....eventually 😐

Originally posted by Bardock42
Just that it is not. It can be part of a committed relationship, but it doesn't have to be. As you said swingers are an example.

Also, what was your question?

your reaction.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
probably...thats all he does. I am still waiting for him to answer my question, and now I ask you the same.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
well then I guess Bardock would be fine if some guy nailed his lady. I guess he is a "swinger."

It's bullshit, but I guess feasible.

I guess the questions then are:

Can a person have sex with a person they are not in love with? Yes/No

If yes then is it possible for a couple to be happy, in love and committed even though they have agreed on open boundaries when it comes to sex since sex outside the relationship, since it would not have some sort of intent of love behind it or emotional significance, just being a physical thing? Yes/No

If yes then is that relationship somehow lesser/wrong/doesn't count because the couple have not subscribed to the traditional/conservative act of sexual exclusivity within their relationship? Yes/No.

I heard a quote once that said "sex without love is just masturbation with another person" (probabaly said by a religious person). If a couple can see sex as something possible beyond merely "expressing their feelings" and they are both fine with it I don't see a problem.

you are at home. Your girl goes out. she comes home. "oops, I slept with another guy. he shagged me silly, but I love you."

your reaction.

Not to answer for Bardock42 but then that would be where communication would have come into. If they have an understanding/open relationship then that kind of thing would be dealt with and wouldn't probably be considered a betrayal.

If on the other hand there is no such understanding and/or the guy/girl did this either knowing it would hurt their partner then it is far more an act of betrayal as they didn't have the decency to not break the trust in the relationship.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
you are at home. Your girl goes out. she comes home. "oops, I slept with another guy. he shagged me silly, but I love you."

your reaction.

You'd like me to say "I dump her" or "I stay with her", but either are possibilities that all depend on the going of our relationship.

Also, you didn't ask me that question before, did you?

Originally posted by Bardock42
Yeah, it might, I feel like calling you an idiot, really.

*shrug*

Originally posted by Bardock42

But luckily I don't have time to debate. Just, you know, let them folks debate about the topic without your wiseass comments, mkay?

Well since you're leaving I probably will. I dunno I feel like making wiseass comments today, you do it all the time I dont see whats the problem.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Are you guys crazy, what's up with all the ad hominem trash talk, lets just discuss it civilly, you can make all those low cracks once I actually did what your claim I do. And I asked you to repeat your question.

Ok just dont make any yourself then. 😐