Devil King..all insults aside, some men and women have a change in attraction over time. It's nothing new.
If he was always gay, he would have told me. He may have lied to me about certain things, but on something like this we were really open. Unlike me, he didn't always like guys. He didn't dislike them either.
He was more neutral about it. He didn't fantasize about guys, but he wasn't repulsed by them either. His attractions were only strong towards girls though.
Basically, what he told me was that over time he started finding guys more appealing...and at first he would just do "touchy feely" things, but nothing over the edge. Then he began watching gay porn, so afterward, he began actually have oral sex with other guys.
He still liked girls, but over time he became more interested in guys.
Eventually, he was no longer interested in having a girlfreind, only in dating and hooking up with guys. Girls began to bore him afterward. From the years 2005-2006 he considered himself bisexual.
Then over time, after he came out to his parents, he identifies as Gay. Girls just dont turn him on as much.
Now..I don't know how this happened, and he can't fully explain the shift either, but it took time. It didn't just happen over night. It happened in a span of years, pretty much between age 18-22
When we first met, he was 22. Now he is 26. And no, I'm not saying it was "me who turned him gay" or whatever. He had plenty of guys before me, and plenty after. TRUST ME.
But he wouldn't lie about that. I told him personal stuff too, stuff I don't even mention on the boards. When it came to that kind of topic, we were both very honest about it. He has no reason to lie. And trust me, you can find tons of guys like him.
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**EDIT: Oh, and by the way...as for your second question. Yes, at first he was the Top, and for a while he only topped. Over time, he asked me to top him, and he didn't like it immediately, but now he bottoms a lot. His taste and practices change.
Not that I'm trying to shove my business in your face (no pun intended), but I think answering that question would have further supported my point.
My ex boyfreind literally went from straight to bisexual to gay, from top, to versatile bottom
***(his tastes also change....he used to only like whites, then hispanics, now he has this fetish for blacks....go figure...he's very unique)
Originally posted by SpearofDestiny
Nope. I'm dead serious. He used to only like girls. Now he likes guys. He didn't say he chose it, it just happened.Why is that so hard to beleive ? 🙄
Some homosexuals don't like that idea...they think it takes away from the "specialness" of being homosexual...but I don't blame them for thinking that because "Christians" think it necessary to persecute them for something they were most likely born with. Naturally, homosexuals come up with a counter argument to being accused of gross perversion: "I can't help it because I was born this way. Your God did this, not me."
There are exceptions like your ex that were not born gay. But, IMO, it is the norm to be born gay and not become gay.
Originally posted by dadudemon
Some homosexuals don't like that idea...they think it takes away from the "specialness" of being homosexual...but I don't blame them for thinking that because "Christians" think it necessary to persecute them for something they were most likely born with. Naturally, homosexuals come up with a counter argument to being accused of gross perversion: "I can't help it because I was born this way. Your God did this, not me."There are exceptions like your ex that were not born gay. But, IMO, it is the norm to be born gay and not become gay.
Originally posted by SpearofDestiny
Devil King..all insults aside, some men and women have a change in attraction over time. It's nothing new.If he was always gay, he would have told me. He may have lied to me about certain things, but on something like this we were really open. Unlike me, he didn't always like guys. He didn't dislike them either.
He was more neutral about it. He didn't fantasize about guys, but he wasn't repulsed by them either. His attractions were only strong towards girls though.
Basically, what he told me was that over time he started finding guys more appealing...and at first he would just do "touchy feely" things, but nothing over the edge. Then he began watching gay porn, so afterward, he began actually have oral sex with other guys.
He still liked girls, but over time he became more interested in guys.
Eventually, he was no longer interested in having a girlfreind, only in dating and hooking up with guys. Girls began to bore him afterward. From the years 2005-2006 he considered himself bisexual.
Then over time, after he came out to his parents, he identifies as Gay. Girls just dont turn him on as much.
Now..I don't know how this happened, and he can't fully explain the shift either, but it took time. It didn't just happen over night. It happened in a span of years, pretty much between age 18-22
When we first met, he was 22. Now he is 26. And no, I'm not saying it was "me who turned him gay" or whatever. He had plenty of guys before me, and plenty after. TRUST ME.
But he wouldn't lie about that. I told him personal stuff too, stuff I don't even mention on the boards. When it came to that kind of topic, we were both very honest about it. He has no reason to lie. And trust me, you can find tons of guys like him.
*******************
**EDIT: Oh, and by the way...as for your second question. Yes, at first he was the Top, and for a while he [b]only
topped. Over time, he asked me to top him, and he didn't like it immediately, but now he bottoms a lot. His taste and practices change.Not that I'm trying to shove my business in your face (no pun intended), but I think answering that question would have further supported my point.
My ex boyfreind literally went from straight to bisexual to gay, from top, to versatile bottom
***(his tastes also change....he used to only like whites, then hispanics, now he has this fetish for blacks....go figure...he's very unique) [/B]
Wow...that sound incredibly close to one of my friends. I have already posted his story here but the story is basically the same. I talked to DK about it mostly.
Originally posted by SpearofDestiny
Nope. I'm dead serious. He used to only like girls. Now he likes guys. He didn't say he chose it, it just happened.Why is that so hard to beleive ? 🙄
you said this happened over his early(ish) twenties?
That isn't hard to believe at all, however, given a few fun psychological mechanisms, it is possible that your ex wasn't STRICTLY as heterosexual as he thought he was.
Originally posted by dadudemon
Some homosexuals don't like that idea...they think it takes away from the "specialness" of being homosexual...but I don't blame them for thinking that because "Christians" think it necessary to persecute them for something they were most likely born with. Naturally, homosexuals come up with a counter argument to being accused of gross perversion: "I can't help it because I was born this way. Your God did this, not me."There are exceptions like your ex that were not born gay. But, IMO, it is the norm to be born gay and not become gay.
As much as I appreciate your point, I don't necessarily by into that. I've seen too much, and met to many people with different stories.
I hooked up with this one guy named David in the NY West Side Club. He is what you would call a "homo thug". Hott Colombian dude...anyway....he also told me he used to be straight, and actually STILL HAS A G/F.
He is bisexual...according to his identity...but he sort of likes guys more he said, and when I asked him, how did this happen...he said that he had a gay room mate, and before that he didn't think about guys, until his room mate started teasing him about giving him oral sex.
At first he was annoyed, but eventually they began to watch porn together, and that turned into group masturbation (understand, they were both really close freinds).
Then his roommate gave him oral sex, and from then on, he became more open about messing around with guys. He's not a bottom, and he didn't top me, but he liked massaging, oral, mutual masturbation, etc.
I thnk he was still a bit timid about sexual encounters with other guys.
I sincerely think that he already has homosexual tendencies to begin with, but the stigma from his neighborhood, parents, and freinds prevented him from even considering it.
If he didn't have that encounter, or any like it, I doubt he would start messing around with guys on his own. The shit is, he has a girlfreind....he should dump her.
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As for your point about developing Gay vs being born Gay.....honestly, if there was no stigma about homosexuality, there would be far more homosexual activity.
If you do your research, many people who identify as straight have not only had homoerotic fantasies, but had also engaged in homosexual sex, even had homosexual crushes.
There is no solid line between sexuality. Unlike Devil King and Adam Poe, I see the color. I don't see in black and white.
Originally posted by SpearofDestiny
As for your point about developing Gay vs being born Gay.....honestly, if there was no stigma about homosexuality, there would be far more homosexual activity.If you do your research, many people who identify as straight have not only had homoerotic fantasies, but had also engaged in homosexual sex, even had homosexual crushes.
There is no solid line between sexuality. Unlike Devil King and Adam Poe, I see the color. I don't see in black and white.
there is also research that shows straight men are not aroused by gay porn and twin studies that show much more consistency than would be expected if "gender preference" were a social construct as you say. I agree with your point, in general, but lets not pigeon hole anyone here, there are 100% straight men.
Originally posted by inimalist
there is also research that shows straight men are not aroused by gay porn and twin studies that show much more consistency than would be expected if "gender preference" were a social construct as you say. I agree with your point, in general, but lets not pigeon hole anyone here, there are 100% straight men.
Yes, I just think they are the minority
And as for studies, I've read studies where a decent percentage of straight men have responded to gay porn. So either the tendency is common, or all those men lied.
Originally posted by dadudemon
Some homosexuals don't like that idea...they think it takes away from the "specialness" of being homosexual...but I don't blame them for thinking that because "Christians" think it necessary to persecute them for something they were most likely born with. Naturally, homosexuals come up with a counter argument to being accused of gross perversion: "I can't help it because I was born this way. Your God did this, not me."There are exceptions like your ex that were not born gay. But, IMO, it is the norm to be born gay and not become gay.
Born with? Like it's a vestigial tail or cronic condition? It's no more "born with" than is your heterosexuality; despite the fact that you think you could be gay, if only you wanted to. There's nothing special about being gay. It's simply a matter of fact. If it isn't, then you're just as gay as am I. Just like there's nothing special about being a man or a woman or black or American or Iraqi or Catholic or Mormon. The fact that it is NOT special is why people are pissed it's being held against them.
And it's a lovely thing you're doing; pretending to support SoD's claim, which is really just a drawn out way of telling him he's gay because he chose to be. It's a position he can't argue his way out of.
And few people blame god for their circumstances, except people who believe he exists.
Originally posted by Devil King
And it's a lovely thing you're doing; pretending to support SoD's claim, which is really just a drawn out way of telling him he's gay because he chose to be. .
Let me make it clear though:
I never said I chose to be Gay. I don't thnk it's a choice. All I have said is that I don't think sexuality is not subject to change. I doubt I could make myself straight, even if I really wanted to.
I would miss guys way too much. If my attraction to men was purely physical, then maybe I can fathom settling down with a woman. But its farr more than that. I am sexually, socially, physically, mentally, and emotionally attracted to men.
With women, I am only socially, physically, and sexually attracted. Not emotionally or mentally...not at all.
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Now that I cleared that up, you didn't answer my response. I gave you literally two detailed responses.
Originally posted by Devil King
Born with? Like it's a vestigial tail or cronic condition? It's no more "born with" than is your heterosexuality; despite the fact that you think you could be gay, if only you wanted to. There's nothing special about being gay. It's simply a matter of fact. If it isn't, then you're just as gay as am I. Just like there's nothing special about being a man or a woman or black or American or Iraqi or Catholic or Mormon. The fact that it is NOT special is why people are pissed it's being held against them.And it's a lovely thing you're doing; pretending to support SoD's claim, which is really just a drawn out way of telling him he's gay because he chose to be. It's a position he can't argue his way out of.
And few people blame god for their circumstances, except people who believe he exists.
Why do you have to spin things like that? No, that is not what I was saying. "Born with" as in brown eyes or something. Yes, it deviates from what I would expect is "natural", but it is not some sort of grotesque mutation. We have gone over this already....it doesn't help the species reproduce.
I am willing to try the gay thing out...but only with you. Butt secks are your place this Saturday at saaaaay. 19:30 your time? 🙂
Originally posted by SpearofDestiny
So you're going to ignore my earlier point ?
I didn't realize you were talking to me.
No, I don't think your ex woke up one day and was suddenly attracted to men. It's a lovely line to lay on someone, but I highly doubt that he woke up and said "Oh, shit! I really have a hankering for cock!" He might not want to say so, we all denied it to ourselves at one point or for one reason or another, but we all actually know better.
Originally posted by dadudemon
it doesn't help the species reproduce.
A lot of things don't help the species reproduce. It's a fasle assumption that evolution is a direct basis for propogation or betterment of the species. This is why intellignet design or creationism is a false assumption.
I don't understand how you can say gay people don't want to admit that others are not gay or weren't born that way, because it takes away from gays being ""special"", then?
You did or you did not say that gays don't want others to claim they used to be straight because it takes away from being""special""?
Originally posted by Devil King
I didn't realize you were talking to me.
My fault
Originally posted by Devil King
No, I don't think your ex woke up one day and was suddenly attracted to men. It's a lovely line to lay on someone, but I highly doubt that he woke up and said "Oh, shit! I really have a hankering for cock!" He might not want to say so, we all denied it to ourselves at one point or for one reason or another, but we all actually know better.
I really think what happened was that he probably met some guys that he just happened to find really attractive. He told me that sometimes at the gym, certain guys would get his attention. It's a long story.
But I really think that he atleast beleives he was straight..wait...im not even gonna say that, because he liked girls. You can't just think you like girls, when you always date them and have sex with them and enjoy it.
Look...i dont know what exactly happened with him. It's hard for me to imagine your tastes changing so drastically....but he's not the only guy (OR GIRL) I know who had this kind of situation.
I mean but then again...he used to only like white people. Then he began to like Hispanics, and now he has this thing for Black guys. Now....do you find it easier to beleive that someone's attraction to race could change over time ?
Why should it be any different with gender ?
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And again, just to clarify to everyone:
When I say that I am Gay, I say that for the sake of simplicity. And when I post drooly faces and exxagerate my lust towards guys and sex, that's just me being a jack ass cuz i thnk its funny...which it is.
If you want to be technical, I am really bisexual. I still find certain girls sexually attractive to the point that I masturbate over them, and try to get into thier pants. It just happens more with guys.
I'd bang the **** outta Carmen Electra or Beyonce If I had the chance...no joke...same with Stacey Dash, Adriana Lima, Elizabeth Hurley, Lil Kim, Jessica Alba, Megan Fox, Meagan Goode, Telesa Soto, Paula Patton, and some other hotties
I hope posters of naked men AND women in my room and in my porn stash. Yes, I've ****ed far more guys than girls, but thats cuz guys are muchh easier....trust me....girls are harder, i hate having to play a game, and im very impatient.
With me its like this...I can't imagine myself setlling down with a girl. It wont happen. A fling would be fun. But I really rather much have a guy than a girl. I dont know why. I prefer pecs over boobs, muscles over thin arms, a hard butt over a soft one, and a penis over a vagina.
I dont know why, i cant help it...but the point is...I'm not on any pole of the spectrum. So its pretty hard for me to imagine someone being 100% Gay or 100% Straight.
Originally posted by dadudemon
Why do you have to spin things like that? No, that is not what I was saying. "Born with" as in brown eyes or something. Yes, it deviates from what I would expect is "natural", but it is not some sort of grotesque mutation. We have gone over this already....it doesn't help the species reproduce.
In terms of evolution, homosexality would be the least painful way to help limit the population. Every individual equals a potential generation.
Originally posted by SpearofDestiny
I really think what happened was that he probably met some guys that he just happened to find really attractive.
Then was never straight to begin with.
Originally posted by SpearofDestiny
And when I post drooly faces and exxagerate my lust towards guys and sex, that's just me being a jack ass cuz i thnk its funny...which it is.
Um...no, it isn't.
Originally posted by SpearofDestiny
My faultI really think what happened was that he probably met some guys that he just happened to find really attractive. He told me that sometimes at the gym, certain guys would get his attention. It's a long story.
But I really think that he atleast beleives he was straight..wait...im not even gonna say that, because he liked girls. You can't just think you like girls, when you always date them and have sex with them and enjoy it.
Look...i dont know what exactly happened with him. It's hard for me to imagine your tastes changing so drastically....but he's not the only guy (OR GIRL) I know who had this kind of situation.
I mean but then again...he used to only like white people. Then he began to like Hispanics, and now he has this thing for Black guys. Now....do you find it easier to beleive that someone's attraction to race could change over time ?
Why should it be any different with gender ?
And again, just to clarify to everyone:
When I say that I am Gay, I say that for the sake of simplicity. And when I post drooly faces and exxagerate my lust towards guys and sex, that's just me being a jack ass cuz i thnk its funny...which it is.
If you want to be technical, I am really bisexual. I still find certain girls sexually attractive to the point that I masturbate over them, and try to get into thier pants. It just happens more with guys.
I'd bang the **** outta Carmen Electra or Beyonce If I had the chance...no joke...same with Stacey Dash, Adriana Lima, Elizabeth Hurley, Lil Kim, Jessica Alba, Megan Fox, Meagan Goode, Telesa Soto, Paula Patton, and some other hotties
I hope posters of naked men AND women in my room and in my porn stash. Yes, I've ****ed far more guys than girls, but thats cuz guys are muchh easier....trust me....girls are harder, i hate having to play a game, and im very impatient.
With me its like this...I can't imagine myself setlling down with a girl. It wont happen. A fling would be fun. But I really rather much have a guy than a girl. I dont know why. I prefer pecs over boobs, muscles over thin arms, a hard butt over a soft one, and a penis over a vagina.
I dont know why, i cant help it...but the point is...I'm not on any pole of the spectrum. So its pretty hard for me to imagine someone being 100% Gay or 100% Straight.
So, what do you want me to address? any personal story can be countered with another. The same for experience and interaction. I can't think of many guys who wouldn't screw a famous person, man or woman, given the chance. I'm glad you are attracted to women as well as men. I'm glad that gives you some measure of self assurance, or what ever you get out of it. But, you are the one who says you would much rather have a man than a woman. I'm not sure, but that, to me, implies you're a pervert more than you are a bisexual, and at the very least denotes your true sexuality. A true bisexual would have no preference. That isn't a direct bash as much as it sounds like one. Most people are willing to screw, period. As I have always said, far too many people ignore the reality of the friction of sex. The friction of sex is a pretty substantial aspect to sex, and more importantly, getting off. Dadudemon wants to say that he won't be gay, but I'm willing to bet it will have pretty much the same end result if he turns the lights out before whoever comes into the room. The real issue is what one wants when the lights are on, after the sex.
You're more than free to assume that there's a correlation between wanting dick and wanting black dick Puerto rican dick, but there's a huge difference there. What your entire post ignores is the influence of society, not on actual sexual preference, but on one's willingness to actually embrace or accept it.