Parents Say the Darndest Things

Originally posted by Selphie
I think I laughed the hardest at this

Thanks...I guess?

Originally posted by Piggle Humsy
This thread is great! 😆

I have so many stories on my dad..

Like tonight he was eating his dinner, some fish or something on toast.. and the toast kept falling apart.. and he ended up spilling a load down his shirt and he was wiping it down with a cloth when I looked up at him and he clutched his hand to his chest, screwing the tissue up inside and said "god bless america" trying to disguise what he was doing 😆

Just typing this out and remembering it has me in tears laughcry

Originally posted by Strangelove
why America? Wouldn't he say God Save the Queen?

That was what made it funnier 😆

screw the queen.

I remember when I was going from kindergarten into 1st grade, and I couldn't fit into my pants just right, they were getting too small for me, so I told my mother that I needed a new pair. So we go downstairs, and into the kitchen, and we tell my father that I need a new pair of pants. He says, "Are you sure you're just not getting fat?"

YouTube video

Originally posted by Defeatedz
YouTube video

weird

Better porn plz

Originally posted by Scythe
Better porn plz

wise words.

well ill look.

Not impressed.

how bout some ebony ivory shit

No, not really. Boobs get bigger than that. Way bigger.

these boobs are big enough?

Course not, you should know me by now.

When i was young, maybe around 5 or 6. I said to my father matter of factly - Whales eat orgasms! He thought it was so hilarious, that he kept it locked away in his memories, and told me when i hit 21.... He never fails to bring it up, when we are in the company of family members we haven't seen forever 😛

My grandmother also happened to be a tad racicist, in that... weird i'm not a hater it was just a generation thing - she'd always ask "who's the nig?" when she'd see Sam Jackson... Each and every time, without fail @___@;;

It was super shameful when she'd ask this in front of friends and the like.

Originally posted by Piggle Humsy
and he ended up spilling a load down his shirt and he was wiping it down with a cloth when I looked up at him and he clutched his hand to his chest, screwing the tissue up inside

Holy shit!😆 😆 😆 😆

I thought this was the funniest.

[Edit.]

When I was a wee-Selphie, my dad and I were in the living room, and the song "Like A Virgin" was playing on the radio. I forgot how it came up, but my dad says, "You are a virgin." and I said, "NO I'M NOT!"

Yeah, I had no idea what one was.