Jack Bauer runs the Die Hard Gauntlet

Started by Lestov1639 pages

Him in his early years, considering what he went through prior to Day 6.

It's Season 4, we're out of the "early years".

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
McWin.

No.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Due to qualifying feats

How? Bauer has far better feats at EVERYTHING, including durability. Your desire to ignore the fact that Bauer endured 20 months of horrific torture out of sheer willpower and then the day he came back killed 50 people

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
all-round-betterness,

At what? Bauer is more durable, stronger (snaps grown men's necks like twigs), resourceful, heroic, and all-around more badass

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
and is aided for all we know by onscreen feats is unkillable.

Sorry, Bauer is on a higher level in durability and unkillableness

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
If its McClane's unkillablity VS Bauers ability to come back to life

Sorry, Bauer can't die anymore. 20 months of torture proved that. So that means we're ranking them on durability, and McClane is no where near as durable

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
eventually, then McClane kills Bauer

What? 😂 How is he going to do that when Bauer has rotated his neck 360 degrees (and doesn't need to fall down stairs to do it 😂 )

Originally posted by Lestov16
No.

Yes. 😛


How? Bauer has far better feats at EVERYTHING, including durability. Your desire to ignore the fact that Bauer endured 20 months of horrific torture out of sheer willpower and then the day he came back killed 50 people

In that situation, McClane would have excelled by escaping 19-20 months sooner and annihilating the badguys without having been electrocuted to death by a granny with a taser once.


At what? Bauer is more durable, stronger (snaps grown men's necks like twigs), resourceful, heroic, and all-around more badass

Not McNecks though. Thats just your opinion.


Sorry, Bauer is on a higher level in durability and unkillableness

lololololololol No where near.
McClane has done all we see him do without dying once, even after having shot himself.


Sorry, Bauer can't die anymore. 20 months of torture proved that. So that means we're ranking them on durability, and McClane is no where near as durable
He was just tortured to death by a tv villian with a taser.
Imagine what 20 months of McClane would do to him.


What? 😂 How is he going to do that when Bauer has rotated his neck 360 degrees (and doesn't need to fall down stairs to do it 😂 ) [/B]

Well, since that'd never happen in a miilion years, we could proceed to the similarly hypothetical question of "What can bauer do when tazered to death til his next regeneration, if blown limb from limb or if the body is now a wallet for an SUV bumper?"

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Yes. 😛

No 😐

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
In that situation, McClane would have excelled by escaping 19-20 months sooner and annihilating the badguys without having been electrocuted to death by a granny with a taser once.

No. He would have been captured. A chump like Simon did it easily, and he was a retarded dumbass. Habib is not.....

Also, McClane would have cried like a ***** during that 20 months. Even during LFODH he was complaining and bitching and crying before he launched that car (which, let's remember KILLED NO ONE)

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
McNecks .

Bauer does enjoy feasting on necks, but I don't think he would dine on such disgusting filth

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
lololololololol No where near.
McClane has done all we see him do without dying once, even after having shot himself.

He got put in that position by Gabriel, a chump bytch compared to Bauer's villains (including cyber-terrorists who posed a far greater threat) 😂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
He was just tortured to death by a tv villian with a taser.

And was resurrected to become an inhumanly invincible killing machine like Jason Voorhees, taking 20 months of far worse torture out of sheer willpower and then the day he is set free kills 50 people

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Imagine what 20 months of McClane would do to him.

I could imagine the torture. Jack being forced to smell McClane's decaying disemboweled corpse for 20 months.....

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Well, since that'd never happen in a miilion years,

Because it would be happening instantaneously

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
we could proceed to the similarly hypothetical question of "What can bauer do when tazered to death til his next regeneration,

Invincible killing machine, remember? 20 months of electric torture will make those tiny tazer hits feel like dust particles slightly brushing against against him. Even though McClane is not going to have the tazer held on Bauer's heart for 10 seconds to test that theory since his head will be rotated in a 360 degree angle

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
if blown limb from limb or if the body is now a wallet for an SUV bumper?"

So now McClane needs access to explosives and cars?? He can't kill anyone with his barehands? Jeez, this guy sucks at killing if he needs all this equipment 😂 . Remember the rule of Leon the Professional...

Originally posted by Lestov16
No 😐

Yes. ✅


No. He would have been captured. A chump like Simon did it easily, and he was a retarded dumbass. Habib is not.....

Probably not.
And even if he would have escaped and killed everyone. Its the McClanian way.


Also, McClane would have cried like a ***** during that 20 months. Even during LFODH he was complaining and bitching and crying before he launched that car (which, let's remember KILLED NO ONE)

But hes never cried like a bi**h.
And hes certainly never been killed by an old lady's battery operated toy.
It may have broken their legs though, jumping that height. Their arses may have ended up where their throats used to be.


Bauer does enjoy feasting on necks, but I don't think he would dine on such disgusting filth
Well of course one can never bite ones own neck. Thats just logical.

Probably not: He doesnt by MVF rules... 😛


He got put in that position by Gabriel, a chump bytch compared to Bauer's villains (including cyber-terrorists who posed a far greater threat) 😂

Oh really? What movies were they in then?
*Prepares for near-eternal wait for response*


And was resurrected to become an inhumanly invincible killing machine like Jason Voorhees, taking 20 months of far worse torture out of sheer willpower and then the day he is set free kills 50 people

Well whilst inanimate, he gets blown to pieces by McClane:
The end.


I could imagine the torture. Jack being forced to smell hisown decaying disemboweled corpse for 20 months.....

🙂


Because it would be happening instantaneously
[\quote]

What would..? Jack's funeral...? Yeah most likely.

[quote]
Invincible killing machine, remember? 20 months of electric torture will make those tiny tazer hits feel like dust particles slightly brushing against against him. Even though McClane is not going to have the tazer held on Bauer's heart for 10 seconds to test that theory since his head will be rotated in a 360 degree angle

Invincible means unbeatable or unkillable.
In the TV show 24 that you keep citing as "evidence" here for your championed TV character, it makes it quite clear that Bauer is neither of those things..... unlike McClane.

Theres no reason to suggest that Bauer could execute that on McClane.


So now McClane needs access to explosives and cars?? He can't kill anyone with his barehands? Jeez, this guy sucks at killing if he needs all this equipment 😂 . Remember the rule of Leon the Professional...

Nope... sometimes he just prefers to. Its versatility.

The rules of McClane the professional seem to work fine.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Yes. ✅

No. ❌

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Probably not.
And even if he would have escaped and killed everyone. Its the McClanian way.

😆 Complete unbacked speculation which is proven false onscreen by Simple Simon capturing his ass

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
But hes never cried like a bi**h.

Except for the scene in Die Hard where he cries like a bytch 😂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
And hes certainly never been killed by an old lady's battery operated toy.

Neither has Bauer. Alive with 276 kills and coutning

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
It may have broken their legs though, jumping that height. Their arses may have ended up where their throats used to be.

😂 Stop with your speculation. Your "car launch" feat sucked. Matter of fact, McClane had his worst killcount in LFODH

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Well of course one can never bite ones own neck. Thats just logical.

Of course. the McNeck will serve as a good (although unhealthy) alternative though.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Oh really? What were they in then?

The whole series 😐

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Well whilst inanimate, he gets blown to pieces by McClane:
The end.

McClane will never get him to that inanimate state before Bauer twists McClane's neck in a 360 degree angle

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
🙂

Nah. Bauer might get hungry, but I'm pretty sure there's enough meat on McClane's bones to satisfy Jack for the 20 months.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Invincible means unbeatable or unkillable.

276 people (who make McClane's adversaries look like chumps) learned this about Bauer first hand.....

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
it quite clear that Bauer is neither of those things..... unlike McClane.

Of course not. He's far better than McClane. To even place him on something as lowly as McClane's level is an utter insult

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
heres no reason to suggest that Bauer could execute that on McClane.

😆 What? That's like saying there's no reason to suggest that Thor shoots lightning, or that Pyro from X-Men shoots fire. Neck-snapping is Jack's favorite killing move, and it will definitely be executed on "Chump fighter" McClane

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Nope... sometimes he just prefers to. Its versatility.

Which is why he needed a staircase to break a man's neck rather than doing it barehanded 😂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
The rules of McClane the professional seem to work fine.

Against the chumps McClane takes on, sure. But when dealing with 24 villains, it becomes quite clear that they are the rules of an amateur 🙂

Originally posted by Lestov16

No


Yes

😆 Complete unbacked speculation which is proven false onscreen by Simple Simon capturing his ass

...for 5 mins before McClane escapes, complete with saving the dude he was protecting also.


Except for the scene in Die Hard where he cries like a bytch 😂

Dont be silly. That was some manly shit.


Neither has Bauer. Alive with 276 kills and coutning

Yet none submittable here, and against TV fodder.


😂 Stop with your speculation. Your "car launch" feat sucked. Matter of fact, McClane had his worst killcount in LFODH

So..? He killed all the right ones though. Saved good guys.


Of course. the McNeck will serve as a good (although unhealthy) alternative though.
Bauer will most likely not get 45 degrees movement, if at all from McClane. He'll have been killed and dismembered by that time, most likely.


The whole series 😐

LOL None of it counts. 😂


McClane will never get him to that inanimate state before Bauer twists McClane's neck in a 360 degree angle

😂 Why do you think that?


Nah. Bauer might get hungry, but I'm pretty sure there's enough meat on McClane's bones to satisfy Jack for the 20 months.

Well its might be handy then, that against McClane, he'll be eating his own nutsack when Mcclane cuts him in half with a steel cable..


276 people (who make McClane's adversaries look like chumps) learned this about Bauer first hand.....

They only looked good against other chumps from the 24TVverse.
They would all die against the wrath of the Tazer lady, let alone the more dangerous characters in the DH world..


Of course not. He's far better than McClane. To even place him on something as lowly as McClane's level is an utter insult

No its not. And McClane has MVF screenfeats to prove it, unlike Bauer.


😆 What? That's like saying there's no reason to suggest that Thor shoots lightning, or that Pyro from X-Men shoots fire. Neck-snapping is Jack's favorite killing move, and it will definitely be executed on "Chump fighter" McClane

Nah. McClane's unbeatability and durability and habit of killing 99% of his foes, in spectacular and amusing ways would ensure McVictory.


Which is why he needed a staircase to break a man's neck rather than doing it barehanded 😂

LOL Silliest argument yet....the staircase was in harmony with McClane. He was arresting the guy, not trying to kill him...but when shit got real, McClane came out and rulethed.

Against the chumps McClane takes on, sure. But when dealing with 24 villains, it becomes quite clear that they are the rules of an amateur 🙂

Oh mirroring my earlier argument against Bauers victims credibilities....

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
[b]Yes ✅ [/B]
Originally posted by Lestov16
[b]No. ❌ [/B]
Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
...for 5 mins before McClane escapes, complete with saving the dude he was protecting also.

Yeah. It's a good thing he had to wait for Simple Simon to leave

Habib would have just killed McClane right there

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Dont be silly. That was some manly shit.

A certain kind of man, yes......

(I believe the proper term for those men are "whiny chump bytches"😉

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Yet none submittable here.

Sometime you gotta gimp...

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
So..? He killed all the right ones though. Saved good guys.

So what? Bauer does that on a daily basis, and way better than McClane wishes he could

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Bauer will most likely not get 45 degrees movement, if at all from McClane. He'll have been killed and dismembered by that time, most likely.

Just like he killed and dismembered Maggie Q (who was a retard for not ensuring his death) when she kicked the shit out of him and he had to catch her off guard to gain an advantage? Just like Stuart, who beat the manshit out of him, while having to steady himself on a moving airplane wing

He would get massacred by Bauer in a pure H2H match. Don't be silly 😂

Also, where are these feats of dismembering?

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
[LOL None of it counts. 😂

LOL You have to massively gimp Bauer because McClane is a chump in comparison 😂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
😂 Why do you think that?

Because it's what's going to happen....

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Well its might be handy then, that against McClane, he'll be eating his own nutsack when Mcclane cuts him in half with a steel cable..

Bauer will cut McClane in half.....with a blade. He's done it to people before. Lol at the fact that McClane is so incompetent at killing. As for the eating of nuts, don't worry. There will definitely be some McTea-Bagging going

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
[They would all die against the wrath of the Tazer lady, let alone the more dangerous characters in the DH world..

😆 Yep. The wrath of the incompetent villains like Simple Simon who don't simply shoot McClane when they have the chance (and McClane was "experiencing Simon's wrath , as he was targeting McClane for killing his brother)

And stop using that "Tazer Lady"...."argument (?)" that you keep trying because it is irrelevant until you can prove that

A)she will keep the tazer on his heart for 10 consecutive seconds without him snapping her brittle neck in about two seconds.

B) him being killed by a tazer is still relevant when he has later showings of taking the same amount of torture for 20 months and then killing 50 people the day he came back

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Nah. McClane's unbeatability

Against retard villains whom Bauer would easily chew through (and FARRRR easier than McClane). Also let's not forget DH3. Simple Simon outsmarted McClane and he would have won completely if not for his simple-mindedness (and by "simple-minded" I mean UTTERLY RETARDED). A retard like that outsmarted McClane. Imagine what Marwan will do to him......

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
and durability

Sorry, Bauer beats McClane in the durability factor until he can tank 20 months of torture through sheer willpower and then the day he gets back kills 50 people. Like I stated, McClane always needs a good nights sleep before he takes on a mission, and the most he's had to deal with pre-mission was a hangover. Compared to 20 months of electrical torture. 😂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
and habit of killing 99% of his foes, in spectacular and amusing ways

Sorry that McClane obtains most of his kills through luck (And remember, his two most impressive feats, with the Ford and F-35 (which technically isn't even his feat, but was his most epic peril) KILLED NO ONE)

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
[would ensure McVictory.

Nope. Sorry. Simple Simon outsmarted the shit out of him, and Bauer takes on far worse threats

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
...the staircase was in harmony with McClane.

LOL Silliest argument yet.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
[He was arresting the guy, not trying to kill him

So he fails at even arresting people...

Jeez, You got Simple Simon, Karl (for not shooting McClane in the back of the head when he had the chance), "Can't see-What-I'm-Shooting-At-At" Al, Maggie Q (for not ensuring McClane's death), the F-35 pilot (for flying under an overpass for no logical reason whatsoever), and now even McClane himself, who can't even arrest somebody? Is there anyone in the DH universe that isn't a pathetic retard 😆

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
...but when shit got real, McClane came out and struggled like an pathetic amateur (when Bauer would have just snapped his neck like a twig right there) and got lucky

Yes.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Oh mirroring my earlier argument against Bauers victims credibilities....

No. I'm mirroring my argument that Simple Simon is a retard, one that I made a longgggggggg while back

Lots of butthurt from the Bauer camp.

No evidence though.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
No evidence though.

http://vimeo.com/43532127

Jack's durability:

YouTube video

If you have ignore/gimp these feats so the McBaldHead will be easier to swallow, that's on you. But know, in the objective world, Bauer clearly destroys McClane in every aspect of life

Also, you did an excellent job of answering none of my questions or backing up any of your claims.

They've all been answered so many times over! There was no need to retread. Those reading the debate will know Im right.

That, btw is not from a movie and therefore doesn't count as we don't do EU here.

Also Im doing the right thing by the thread by bringing 30-point back and forths back to one post replies.

So McClane loses to EU Bauer? That's all I'm asking.....

And the answer is "nope".

I Think Bauer is like the TV equivalent of McClane and that he is like his emmisary to the TV world. But McClane would beat Bauer EU or otherwise.

The pointlessness of involving EU here, when there are lots of games of Die Hard (EU) where Mcclane (for the sake of gameplay) has to blow away hundreds of enemies per level. But for the sake of debating rules that is something I wouldn't bring here, despite the McClane of the PSX DH trilogy game even by himself would be triumphing single handedly over the entire Bauerverse.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
And the answer is "nope".

And sadly, you have answered incorrectly 🙁

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
I Think Bauer is like the TV equivalent of McClane and that he is like his emmisary to the TV world.

😆 24 runs circles around Die Hard in the quality department.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
The pointlessness of involving EU here, when there are lots of games of Die Hard (EU) where Mcclane (for the sake of gameplay) has to blow away hundreds of enemies per level.

That would be relevant......if Bauer didn't have a video game and novels in which he kicks far more ass 😂. even with McClane's EU feats he gets his salad tossed by Bauer 😂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
But for the sake of debating rules that is something I wouldn't bring here, despite the McClane of the PSX DH trilogy game even by himself would be triumphing single handedly over the entire Bauerverse.

I believe I've firmly established that everybody in the Die Hard universe is a pathetic retard, so any wins he is able to pull over on them is comparative to saying that a 2-year old squashed an ant. Of course, that means that when he gets to the Bauerverse, he'll be sad to find out that his constant whining and complaining and having to take time outs is in fact stuff that pathetic amateurs like himself do, compared to real heroes who work through the pain to take out existential threats to mankind on a daily basis.

Theres nothing to suggest that McClane doesnt kick that amount of ass every day. You confuse whining with wisecrackery.

The game McClane>>All the EU Bauer has, all day everyday.

McClane being established and better in MVF bankable film form is just icing on the cake....!

Originally posted by Lestov16

I believe I've firmly established that everybody in the Die Hard universe is a pathetic retard, so any wins he is able to pull over on them is comparative to saying that a 2-year old squashed an ant.

There's been several occasions now where Jack was out in the open, had no idea someone was aiming at him and still the would-be assassin manages to completely fail in shooting Jack in the head.

So if we're going to talk about retards and incompetence, the 24-Verse seems to be the source of all 'retardetence.'

To Robtard you must listen...yessssss. ✅

YouTube video

Originally posted by Robtard
There's been several occasions now where Jack was out in the open, had no idea someone was aiming at him and still the would-be assassin manages to completely fail in shooting Jack in the head.

So if we're going to talk about retards and incompetence, the 24-Verse seems to be the source of all 'retardetence.'

Major difference between off-aim and giving the hero evidence that will directly lead to your capture, like Simon did (and remember, this dumbass outsmarted McClane).

Originally posted by Lestov16
Major difference between off-aim and [b]giving the hero evidence that will directly lead to your capture, like Simon did. [/B]

Off-aim? Hahaha. More like No-Aim.

That's called arrogance and underestimating your opponent. Simon perceived McClane to be just as he appears to be on the surface, an unassuming NYPD cop. Simon (like others) paid dearly for this miscalculation.