Jack Bauer runs the Die Hard Gauntlet

Originally posted by Robtard
More downplaying. McClane completely neutralized a serious threat (two gunmen in a helicopter trying to murder him and his charge); he did so with on-the-fly thinking and without the use of a gun. Pure McWinnage.

As we saw in S3 of 24, when Bauer is faced with a grounded helicopter; a gunman and he still has bullets in his gun, he has to call in for help.

So what is McClane's best feat?

😆 You talk about me downplaying? There were four assailants on that copter not to mention Bauer didn't have either a vehicle next to him or a tunnel to duck into.

Originally posted by Lestov16
So what is McClane's best feat?

😆 You talk about me downplaying? There were [b]four assailants on that copter not to mention Bauer didn't have either a vehicle next to him or a tunnel to duck into. [/B]

Hard to say, there's so many.

There was only one machine-gun-men on that copter and Bauer (unlike McClane) had a gun full of bullets; likely a spare clip and he was protected by cover. Yet he fully ducked and had to call in Tony (has done this at least twice now) to save his ass via airstrike. There's no downplaying on my end, that's your pony.

PS, he also did have a tunnel in that scene, the one he ran through to get out into the water-channel.

There's so many.....yet you can't list one (that isn't below Bauer's caliber)

😆 at trying to downplay Bauer, despite the fact that McClane is more unimpressive. McClane never faced the machine gunner chasing him in the helicopter in a gunfight. He had to outrace him into the safety of the tunnel until he could plan an escape.

Not a tunnel with a bunch of cars in it, not to mention how far away the copter was. How would McClane have handled that situation, if he was in Bauer's place having to take out Saunder's copter? Is he going to magically materialize a car, or try to take them all on in a gunfight?

If we conveniently decide to ignore that McClane had run out of bullets, his main priority was keeping Farrell alive, did take out one of the gunmen via a super clever fire-hydrant-attack and then later completely neutralized the threat by launching a car into the air like a missile, sure, you MIGHT have a point.

By shooting them. The copter wasn't that far away, he had cover (hence Bauer's being safe while ducking) and he had bullets. I'd expect an ex Delta Force guy to do slightly better than crying home for an air-strike "Tony, save me again!" -Bauer circa S3. His on-the-fly thinking is nonexistent compared to McClane's. Dude can't handle the pressure, man.

Originally posted by Robtard
[B]By shooting them.

😆

Shooting, Icicle-ing through eye, killing someone with a luggage handler or zippo, shooting four armed guys to death in an elevator, cutting a dude in half with cable after surviving a fall that would have killed most guys, SUVing or crown-victoria-erisng a guy...its all the same to McClane.

Thats why he's champ.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Shooting

You really want to talk gunfights? 😂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Icicle-ing through eye

😆 This guy?(0:49)

Bauer would have broke that dude's neck in a minute so he wouldn't get into such a helpless position

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
shooting four armed guys to death in an elevator

Four? That's it? Bauer slaughtered an entire Russian Consulate

Entire Russian Consulate>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Four chumps in an elevator

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
SUVing

Oh really?

Let's look here.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/12382

McClane gets the manshit kicked out of him (Listen to him shout "Jesus!" at 0:43 😆 ), until Maggie Q decides to turn her back, which can be attributed to the fact that, like I said, everybody in the Die Hard universe is a complete retard (which can be proven just as easily as your supposed "McClane Factor", because it is just a prevalent throughout the series). And then, because of the "Retarded Amateur Factor", McClane does the exact same thing of turning his back, allowing him to AGAIN, get the manshit kicked out of him

Bauer would have just broke her neck right there and put a bullet in her to be sure, so he wouldn't have gotten the shit kicked out of him and have to retaliate with a truck because he is that defenseless in H2H 😂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
or crown-victoria-erisng a guy..

🤨

Who will he be doing this to? As far as we've seen, it is only effective on harmless helicopter pilots (that's right, McClane didn't even kill his assailant 😂 ).

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Thats why he's champ

Of his retard amateur-hour world, yes

But when it comes to a real challenge, like a day in the 24verse, it's quite clear he is nowhere near champ, and in fact is a pathetic chump

Originally posted by Lestov16
You really want to talk gunfights? 😂

Like the ones McClane won all through the movies, including the anomolus time against himself, when he shot someone (himself)and they didn't die, even though the person behind him died..
And counting McEU, (since youre still counting Bauer EU) McClane has killed thousands one after another. So there ya go.

😆 This guy?(0:49)

Bauer would have broke that dude's neck in a minute so he wouldn't get into such a helpless position

Four? That's it? Bauer slaughtered an entire Russian Consulate

Entire Russian Consulate of TV chumps>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Four highly trained guys in an elevator

Oh really?

Oh really?

Let's look here.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/12382

McClane gets the manshit kicked out of him (Listen to him shout "Jesus!" at 0:43 😆 ), until Maggie Q decides to turn her back, which can be attributed to the fact that, like I said, everybody in the Die Hard universe is a complete retard (which can be proven just as easily as your supposed "McClane Factor", because it is just a prevalent throughout the series). And then, because of the "Retarded Amateur Factor", McClane does the exact same thing of turning his back, allowing him to AGAIN, get the manshit kicked out of him

Bauer would have just broke her neck right there and put a bullet in her to be sure, so he wouldn't have gotten the shit kicked out of him and have to retaliate with a truck because he is that defenseless in H2H 😂

Well despite your spin, its obvious that Mcclane was out sped, but Maggie Q clearly hadnt "kicked the manshit out of him"..he knocked her out and could have kerbstomped her to death as she napped in the land of a 1,000 fluffy pillows. Mcclane turned his back too. So its all fair.

Well maybe McClane would too. But he is always a lot more entertaining.

Who will he be doing this to? As far as we've seen, it is only effective on harmless helicopter pilots (that's right, McClane didn't even kill his assailant 😂 ).

So what...? Like you say....harmless.
Bosses and top arch goons (and even occasionally the odd pair of FBI guys) in helicopters die horribly against McClane.
The neutralised threat counts as a win.

Champ of his retard amateur-hour world, yes

But when it comes to a real challenge, like a day in the 24verse, it's quite clear he is nowhere near champ, and in fact is a pathetic chump

A 'pathetic chump' who would wipe his ass with Bauer's opponents, as he does in all 4 (4 so far!) movies of his own whereas Bauer couldn't even stop an old lady with from pinching his biscuits. Zzzzzzapppp!!!!!! Zaaaaaaapppp! Zzap!!!!

Originally posted by Robtard
super clever

😆

Originally posted by Robtard
fire-hydrant-attack

http://www.allouttabubblegum.com/main/?p=497

Complete coincidence that had nothing to do with him, just like the F-35. Not his feat at all.

Originally posted by Robtard
and then later completely neutralized the threat by launching a car into the air like a missile, sure

And If we conveniently decide to ignore that McClane's only kill was a harmless pilot, he only had to worry about 1 guy in the chopper (whereas Saunder's chopper had 2), and he didn't even "neutralize the threat" because the threat (AKA the guy shooting at him) clearly lived

Originally posted by Robtard
By shooting them.

McClane's that accurate now? If so, why couldn't he kill one guy in a chopper and end up getting cornered in a tunnel?

Originally posted by Robtard
The copter wasn't that far away, he had cover (hence Bauer's being safe while ducking) and he had bullets.I'd expect an ex Delta Force guy to do slightly better than crying home for an air-strike

Sorry that a pandemic is on the line and Jack wants to perform the most efficient course of action instead of showing off.

Originally posted by Robtard
"Tony, save me again!" -Bauer circa S3.

He didn't need to be saved. Saunders needed to be captured in the most efficient way possible

Originally posted by Robtard
His on-the-fly thinking is nonexistent compared to McClane's.

😆 What do you think the entire concept of 24 is? Do you think he has any prep?

Originally posted by Robtard
Dude can't handle the pressure, man.

He's handled 20 consecutive months of it without a problem, man.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Like the ones McClane won all through the movies,

An unimpressive, pathetic number compared to Bauer. Also, let's not forget that Bauer doesn't get shot twice

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
including the anomolus time against himself, when he shot someone (himself)and they didn't die, even though the person behind him died..

What a chump for being put into such a pathetic, helpless position 😆. Jack would have disarmed him and snapped his neck in two seconds, no self-inflicted gunshot required

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
And counting McEU, (since youre still counting Bauer EU) McClane has killed thousands one after another. So there ya go.

But......Bauer has killed just as many bad guys in his video game (and novel series)......

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
So..? He made the bad guys at such close quarters all die to death.

Unimpressively

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Well despite your spin, , but Maggie Q clearly hadnt "kicked the manshit out of him"..

Which is why he shouted "Jesus!!" 5 seconds into the fight 😆

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
he knocked her out

Via unimpressive ambush, since she was clearly a retarded amateur for not ensuring his death

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
and [b]could have kerbstomped her to death as she napped in the land of a 1,000 fluffy pillows. [/B]

He could have, like an effective professional, but he didn't because he is a pathetic amateur

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Mcclane turned his back too. So its all fair.

Retards think alike 🙂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Well maybe McClane would too.

No he wouldn't, because he didn't 😐

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
But he is always a lot more entertaining.

And time-wastingly reckless, which is going to suck when there are billions of lives on the line and he realizes that, unlike his retard universe, he's dealing with effective terrorists who know what they're doing and not pathetic wannabe-terrorists/ glorified extortionists

Also, throat rip>>>>>>>>>>>>>harmless helicopter crash in terms of entertainment 🙂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
So what...? Like you say....harmless.
Bosses and top arch goons (and even occasionally the odd pair of FBI guys) in helicopters die horribly against McClane.

"against McClane" is different from "McClane was in the vicinity when it happened"

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
The neutralised threat counts as a win.

If these are the kind of pathetic amateur wins McClane dispenses in his fourth movie, it's quite clear to see how much of a chump he is comapred to Bauer

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
A 'pathetic chump' who would wipe his ass with Bauer's opponents,

😆 Dude....don....don't even attempt to delude yourself into thinking McClane has a chance against any of Bauer's villains besides maybe Gaines.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
as he does in all 4 (4 so far!) movies of his own

Against retard terrorists. Remember, Simple Simon outsmarted McClane, and he was a complete dumbass. McClane's villains severely lack in both quantity and definitely quality, because, just like everything in the DHverse, they are guided by the "Retarded Amateur Factor"

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
whereas Bauer couldn't even stop an old lady with from pinching his biscuits. Zzzzzzapppp!!!!!! Zaaaaaaapppp! Zzap!!!!

Originally posted by Lestov16
And stop using that "Tazer Lady"...."argument (?)" that you keep trying because it is irrelevant until you can prove that

A)she will keep the tazer on his heart for 10 consecutive seconds without him snapping her brittle neck in about two seconds.

B) him being killed by a tazer is still relevant when he has later showings of taking the same amount of torture for 20 months and then killing 50 people the day he came back

None of this smacks of the truth.

Especially with the McButthurt laden passages with "pathetic" and "unimpressive" and "retarded" betraying the zippo caused rectal lacerations within you.

And the PSX DH trilogy by itself outdoes and out bodybags the Bauer game. Thats without the other Die Hard games and media too.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
None of this smacks of the truth.

AKA you have run out of arguments 😂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Especially with the McButthurt laden passages with "pathetic" and "unimpressive" and "retarded"

All of which accurately describe the DHverse, as I have proven via citing various events in which McClane and his opponents act like utter retards for no reason

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
betraying the zippo caused rectal lacerations within you.

You sure you're not just upset because Bauer already ate your throat? 😉

AKA Ive argued them all before and cannot be bothered to yet again. 🙂

No you are overplaying those elements and underplaying McClane's opposition in brown panted desperation and McAnger.

Yes Im quite sure.
You must be hallucinating with the meds they gave you for your McButthurt. 😛

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
AKA Ive argued them all before and lost horribly and am afraid to re-introduce them because they will be quickly disproved yet again.

Yes 🙂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
No you are overplaying those elements

By posting direct proof of them?

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
and underplaying McClane's opposition

By posting direct proof of them being retards?

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
in brown panted desperation

McClane's default mode 😆

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
McAnger.

Is about as worthless as a McChicken

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Yes Im quite sure.
You must be hallucinating with the meds they gave you for your McButthurt.

Don't worry. Bauer made sure he didn't get any STD's after firmly raping McClane in every aspect of life

😛

Originally posted by Lestov16

By posting direct proof of them?

'Cept you havent provided proof of them being retards.
Only of your own perpetual anti-McClane bias.

By posting direct proof of them being retards?

They've never gone full retard.

Is about as worthless as a McChicken

A McChicken wouldn't be sellable. It'd kill 100% of its customers whilst excelling in collateral damage and amusing quips which would be clucked at its dying victi- erm customers.

Don't worry. Bauer made sure he didn't get any STD's after firmly raping himself in every aspect of his own life whilst thinking of being McClane.

Oh ok .
😛

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
'Cept you havent provided proof of them being retards.

They've never gone full retard.

Karl
Simon
Mai Li
F-35 Pilot
McClane himself
The list goes on......

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
A McChicken wouldn't be sellable.

Of course. Who would want such to disgusting trash?

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Oh ok .
😛

There will be self-penetrating.....well technically it is, since Bauer will be ripping McClane's junk off and shoving it up McClane's ass

Originally posted by Lestov16
😆

http://www.allouttabubblegum.com/main/?p=497

Complete coincidence that had nothing to do with him, just like the F-35. Not his feat at all.

And If we conveniently decide to ignore that McClane's only kill was a harmless pilot, he only had to worry about 1 guy in the chopper (whereas Saunder's chopper had 2), and he didn't even "neutralize the threat" because the threat (AKA the guy shooting at him) clearly lived

McClane's that accurate now? If so, why couldn't he kill one guy in a chopper and end up getting cornered in a tunnel?

Sorry that a pandemic is on the line and Jack wants to perform the most efficient course of action instead of showing off.

He didn't need to be saved. Saunders needed to be captured in the most efficient way possible

😆 What do you think the entire concept of 24 is? Do you think he has any prep?
He's handled 20 consecutive months of it without a problem, man.

Not coincidence, the pieces fell into place at exactly the right time due to the McClane Factor. Only an idiot or someone purposely trying to downplay McClane would try and say something like 'McClane just happened to run over the hydrant and the copter and gunmen just happened to be in the perfect position.' Watch the scene, it was on-the-fly-thinking and deliberate.

Again, he neutralized the threat (helicopter & gunmen) and saved Farrell, all without bullets and in a fantastic manner. Stop downplaying. Bauer wouldn't be capable of reproducing that scene, he's just not cartoony enough.

Yes, McClane has shown great accuracy. Watch DH1-4.

Trying to up-play Bauer. He was stuck again and had to call Tony again; wouldn't be the last time too, as we see in S4: "Tony, save me, I'm trapped in a warehouse and out of bullets!" -Bauer circa S4. Funny, when McClane runs out of bullets, villains still die at his hands.

Yes, there is in fact shit-loads of prep in 24. Come on. Sting operations, setups etc.

Withstanding torture is not the same as pressure to act on the spot and come up with ingenious solutions to impossible problems. Like turning a car into a missile. Apple to oranges comparison.

Originally posted by Robtard
Not coincidence, the pieces fell into place at exactly the right time due to the McClane Factor.

I've clearly established that it is less of a "McClane Factor" and more of a "Everybody in the DHverse is a retarded amateur" Factor

Originally posted by Robtard
Only an idiot or someone purposely trying to downplay McClane would try and say something like 'McClane just happened to run over the hydrant and the copter and gunmen just happened to be in the perfect position.'

Only an idiot or somebody trying desperately to push the McBaldHead further down their esophagus would try and say something like "McClane planned out that obvious coincidence, just like all of the other coincidences he gets into"

Originally posted by Robtard
Watch the scene, it was on-the-fly-thinking and deliberate.

Watch the scene, it was a lucky coincidence and had nothing to do with him. Unless it's like the massive overplaying earlier, about McClane "dominating F-35s" 😂

Originally posted by Robtard
Again, he neutralized the threat (helicopter & gunmen) and saved Farrell, all without bullets

Because he got cornered in a tunnel 😂

Originally posted by Robtard
and in a fantastic manner.

That fantastically only killed a harmless pilot and not even the guy who actually posed a threat 😂

Originally posted by Robtard
Stop downplaying. Bauer wouldn't be capable of reproducing that scene, he's just not cartoony enough.

Why would Bauer want to replicate that crappy only-casualty-is-a-harmless-pilot scene?

Originally posted by Robtard
Yes, McClane has shown great accuracy. Watch DH1-4..

Which is why he easily shot down that guy in the helicopter. Oh wait a minute.....

Originally posted by Robtard
"Tony, save me, I'm trapped in a warehouse and out of bullets!" -Bauer circa S4.

"They're dead. Everyone is dead"
- only survivor of Jack's massacre circa S8

Originally posted by Robtard
Funny, when McClane runs out of bullets, villains still die at his hands..

Funny when Bauer doesn't have a gun, villains still die at his hands (or teeth)

Originally posted by Robtard
Yes, there is in fact shit-loads of prep in 24. Come on. Sting operations, setups etc..

So Jack went into Day 2,4,5,6,7, and 8 with prep about the villains plans? 😂

Originally posted by Robtard
Withstanding torture is not the same as pressure to act on the spot and come up with ingenious solutions to impossible problems.

😆 Only an idiot or somebody trying to massively downplay Bauer would try and say something like "Bauer can't handle intense situations, despite the fact that it's the main point of 24"

Originally posted by Robtard
Like turning a car into a missile.

A missile that can only kill harmless pilots 😆

Originally posted by Lestov16
I've clearly established that it is less of a "McClane Factor" and more of a "Everybody in the DHverse is a retarded amateur" Factor

Only an idiot or somebody trying desperately to push the McBaldHead further down their esophagus would try and say something like "McClane planned out that obvious coincidence, just like all of the other coincidences he gets into"

Watch the scene, it was a lucky coincidence and had nothing to do with him. Unless it's like the massive overplaying earlier, about McClane "dominating F-35s" 😂

Because he got cornered in a tunnel 😂

That fantastically only killed a harmless pilot and not even the guy who actually posed a threat 😂

Why would Bauer want to replicate that crappy only-casualty-is-a-harmless-pilot scene?

Which is why he easily shot down that guy in the helicopter. Oh wait a minute.....

"They're dead. Everyone is dead"
- only survivor of Jack's massacre circa S8

Funny when Bauer doesn't have a gun, villains still die at his hands (or teeth)

So Jack went into Day 2,4,5,6,7, and 8 with prep about the villains plans? 😂

😆 Only an idiot or somebody trying to massively downplay Bauer would try and say something like "Bauer can't handle intense situations, despite the fact that it's the main point of 24"

A missile that can only kill harmless pilots 😆

Incorrect.

Incorrect, stop downplaying.

Incorrect, stop downplaying.

If "cornered" = neutralized the threat and saved his charge, he corners hard, brah. REALLY hard.

Helicopter was destroyed; threat was neutralized. Stop downplaying. Squirrel-Boy survived cos he was an uber bad-ass.

Bauer couldn't replicate that scene, he lacks the on-the-fly resources to launch a car. Bauer would probably still be in that tunnel crying to Tony on the phone: "There's a scary helicopter outside and I'm trapped, save me!" -Bauer. Which is the topic of this thread, Bauer lacking the ability to live in the Diehard Universe, no Tony Almeida to save him there.

McClane was out of bullets. Why do I have to keep repeating this?

Speaking of villains being idiots, that guy Bauer bit to death, he placed his neck directly in front of Jack's mouth like a retard. Doh.

Point is, you made yet another masturbation claim about Bauer 'never having prep', when he clearly does many a time. Accept that you were wrong in that claim and move on.

I implied Baer couldn't handle them as well as McClane in terms of on-the-fly thinking, which is a fact. One guy launches a car like a missile when pressured by a copter and gunmen, the other screams on the phone for a rescue. "Tony, save me again!" -Bauer

That helicopter was far from harmless, it had machine-gun men on board; why do you keep ignoring this? Answer: Cos you're a massive McClane downplayer. It's your only tactic.

Originally posted by Robtard
Incorrect.

Originally posted by Robtard
If "cornered" = neutralized the threat and saved his charge,

I mean cornered, as in, helplessly trapped

Originally posted by Robtard
Squirrel-Boy survived cos he was an uber bad-ass.

McClane can’t even kill him

Originally posted by Robtard
Bauer couldn't replicate that scene; he lacks the on-the-fly resources to launch a car.

Tell that to John Quinn 😂

Originally posted by Robtard
Which is the topic of this thread, Bauer lacking the ability to live in the Diehard Universe, no Tony Almeida to save him there.

You act as if Bauer would have gotten himself cornered in such a position.

Originally posted by Robtard

McClane was out of bullets. Why do I have to keep repeating this?

Because it shows your McBias, since you’re admitting how McClane can’t shoot one guy in helicopter yet when I asked how he would be taking out four guys in helicopter, you said that McClane would effortlessly “shoot them” 😂

Originally posted by Robtard
Speaking of villains being idiots, that guy Bauer bit to death, he placed his neck directly in front of Jack's mouth like a retard. Doh.

😆 Not even in the same league, hell, the same continent as the “Retard Amateur Factor” of the Dhverse, where “expert” F-35 pilots fly under overpasses that they can directly see as crumbling 😆

Originally posted by Robtard
Point is, you made yet another masturbation claim about Bauer 'never having prep', when he clearly does many a time. I implied Bauer couldn't handle them as well as McClane in terms of on-the-fly thinking, which is a fact.

Bauer runs circles around McClane in quick-thinking. In 20 minutes plans out and executes the flawless kidnapping of a former POTUS and “neutralizing the threat” of the POTUS’s Secret service staff (far more dangerous than one chump in a helicopter) in a far more epic manner than McClane’s wimpy car launch, 15 minutes later perpetrated the utter slaughter of a Russian delegate and his entire security staff (after receiving a stab wound ), and then 1 hour later planned out the flawless execution of one of the most powerful men on the planet. That is a fact.

Originally posted by Robtard
That helicopter was far from harmless, it had machine-gun men on board;