Jack Bauer vs John McClane

Originally posted by Lestov16
You mean cheapshotting and delivering weaksauce hits that can't even keep a person of small body mass down, leading to that person WTFpwning him? Wow. This reminds me of a certain supposedly great dragon fighter and the alpha male who tanked his weaksauce hits

Bauer snaps his neck like a twig. Deal.

Pretty easy to do when people with assault rifles aren't gunning at you from yards away.

Once again, considering his durability got him laid flat on his ass of someone of far lesser body mass, nope, once again, Bauer gets a knife to the lung

Once again, not nearly as heroic as sacrificing one's own freedom to save orphans from a genocide. Fine. Bauer wins

Sorry, Bauer's not more powerful than large C4 explosions. Just going to have to accept he's not getting past McClane's durability.

Snub-nose revolvers have notoriously bad aim at anything except close range. This is a real-life fact you're going to have to accept.

At least you accepted that McClane is better at counter-terrorism, since you now dodge and wish you'd never brought up that measure.

Four films worth of heroics > your one orphanage. Deal.

TV movie Bauer fails against McClane on all 4 (and 5) counts. Sorry; I was hooping we could find one were he succeeds, for your mental wellness.

Apparently Mai Lihn, a person with far less body mass and experience than Bauer, is stronger than an explosion, since she WTFpwned his ass twice and his weaksauce Van-Zan-level hits couldn't even knock her small body unconscious. So once again, until you show me a feat of McClane snapping someone's neck without requiring an entire staircase, yeah, Bauer snaps his neck. End of story

Once again, show me McClane taking on hostiles with assault rifles shooting at him from yards away with a handgun

Orphans running from genocide>>>....Middle class family having to get second jobs. Bauer's more heroic. deal

Bauer, with his one 2-hour movie, WTFpwns McClane's weaksauce ass in every category imaginable 24/7

Could you point out what "more heroic" has to do with the topic of this thread?

Originally posted by Robtard
LoL, no. Bauer's a tiny man, he and Ninja-Chick are probably close in mass. Bauer (just like Ninja-Chick) gets grabbed and tossed like a rag doll.

So you base your entire thesis of McClane winning the H2H on the possibility that Bauer might be close in mass with Mai Lihn? 😆 Pure, unbridled McBias everyone.

Originally posted by Silent Master
Could you point out what "more heroic" has to do with the topic of this thread?

Eh. I guess we don't need it. Still Bauer wins in every other category.

Originally posted by Lestov16
Apparently Mai Lihn, a person with far less body mass and experience than Bauer, is stronger than an explosion, since she WTFpwned his ass twice and his weaksauce Van-Zan-level hits couldn't even knock her small body unconscious. So once again, until you show me a feat of McClane snapping someone's neck without requiring an entire staircase, yeah, Bauer snaps his neck. End of story

Once again, show me McClane taking on hostiles with assault rifles shooting at him from yards away with a handgun

Orphans running from genocide>>>....Middle class family having to get second jobs. Bauer's more heroic. deal

Bauer, with his one 2-hour movie, WTFpwns McClane's weaksauce ass in every category imaginable 24/7

Apparently you're confusing being knocked down from a kick to dying. Not the same thing. McClane lived; she died. Why? Cos she couldn't get past his insanely high durability.

Die Hard, Die Hard 2, Die Hard 3 and Die Hard 4.0 all had villains shooting at McCLane with full automatics and he was armed only with a handgun. Consider yourself shown. Seriously, did you not pay attention or were you lying when you claimed to have recently watched he films?

It would have been a financial global epidemic if Thomas succeeded. Which would have likely created shit-loads of orphans who would have been in immediate danger. So if you're stuck on "orphan saving" as being the epitome of heroism, McClane wins that too; by a landslide.

So now McClane outclasses Bauer in six measures: H2H, Guns, Melee, Counter Terrorism, Heroics and Orphan Saving. Care to add another?

Nah Bauer wouldnt be able to snap McClane's neck.
It withstood all sorts of trauma that would have broken anyone elses.
But McClane might Taze him or throw something through his head.

That might have happened in DH4. If thats what you were asking: You were grammatically unclear...

That movie doesnt count.

Once again, considering her small body mass was able to knock his oh-so-durable ass onto the floor, and considering he can't even deliver hits capable of knocking someone of such small body mass out, there's no telling how much Bauer, someone of more body mass and far more veteran experience, is going to rock his shit

Considering it takes McClane 5-6 bullets to hit his targets, whereas Bauer gets 1-hit kills, once again, McClane is unimpressive in comparison

Once again, GENOCIDE>>>>>......Middle class family having to get a second job

I'm sorry, they gave you the wrong list. The correct list of measures McClane outclasses Bauer in is Whining, Complaining, Crying, Feces-Eating, Sadako-Felching, and, of course, Deeper Rectum.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Nah Bauer wouldnt be able to snap McClane's neck.
It withstood all sorts of trauma that would have broken anyone elses.
But McClane might Taze him or throw something through his head.

That might have happened in DH4. If thats what you were asking: You were grammatically unclear...

That movie doesnt count.

Once again, considering a person of smaller body-mass laid him on his ass and his weak-sauce-Van-Zan level hits couldn't even keep her unconscious, McClane is going to die. Also it's hilarious that you immediately attribute weapons to McClane because you know he can't win a straight H2H fight 😆

Originally posted by Lestov16
Once again, considering her small body mass was able to knock his oh-so-durable ass onto the floor, and considering he can't even deliver hits capable of knocking someone of such small body mass out, there's no telling how much Bauer, someone of more body mass and far more veteran experience, is going to rock his shit

Considering it takes McClane 5-6 bullets to hit his targets, whereas Bauer gets 1-hit kills, once again, McClane is unimpressive in comparison

Once again, [b]GENOCIDE>>>>>......Middle class family having to get a second job

I'm sorry, they gave you the wrong list. The correct list of measures McClane outclasses Bauer in is Whining, Complaining, Crying, Feces-Eating, Saddy-Felching, and, of course, Deeper Rectum. [/B]

You don't have to be 6'4" and 240lbs to knock someone down via a good kick to the face. Just stop downplaying already,

LoL, more downplaying after a previous point was shits-lapped down.

Apparently you think all of America (and as a domino effect, the world) is Middle Class and that a Global Financial Crisis would equal having to get a second job.

As per your list: H2H, Guns, Melee, Counter Terrorism, Heroics and Orphan Saving, McClane 6 out of 6, proven with movie feats.

Originally posted by Lestov16
Once again, considering her small body mass was able to knock his oh-so-durable ass onto the floor, and considering he can't even deliver hits capable of knocking someone of such small body mass out, there's no telling how much Bauer, someone of more body mass and far more veteran experience, is going to rock his shit

But he actually did knock her out. His durability endured..and her ass was a storage wallet for an SUV.

Considering it takes McClane 5-6 bullets to hit his targets, whereas Bauer gets 1-hit kills, once again, McClane is unimpressive in comparison

More lies.
The end of DH1 alone disproves that, as most of the movie does.
Gruber. Gruber's american buddy..knees guy...table guy....asian commando guy through door...he just likes to make sure with a few extra shots......

I'm sorry, they gave you the wrong list. The correct list of measures McClane outclasses Bauer in is Whining, Complaining, Crying, Feces-Eating, Saddy-Felching, and, of course, Deeper Rectum.

Oh, now McClane is just "somebody", when a moment ago he was this invincible block of granite who can tank any pain whatsoever 😆

Once again, stop looking in the mirror when you type your posts

Yes. I'd much rather live in a poverty-stricken America than a lawless genocidal regime, so apparently, there is a McBias overload and it is leaking out of all of your orifices

Originally posted by Lestov16
Oh, now McClane is just "somebody", when a moment ago he was this invincible block of granite who can tank any pain whatsoever 😆

Once again, stop looking in the mirror when you type your posts

Yes. I'd much rather live in a poverty-stricken America than a lawless genocidal regime, so apparently, there is a McBias overload and it is leaking out of all of your orifices

Let's not get ahead of ourselves, he can tank what we've seen him tank, which is explosions that would have killed a normal person.

Ah, the good ole "no you!" tactic. Clever.

Are you now trying to turn this into another unit of measure? Cos Counter Terrorism suddenly changed into Heroics which then slyly changed into who has better Orphan Saving feats.

Listen, I'm willing to give you that Bauer has better Orphan Saving feats, as McClane didn't really save any orphans, he simply stopped a global crisis that would likely have created millions of orphans, which in turn would need saving. ie Bauer's out of a job cos McClane can do his.

Official List (revised):

H2H - McClane
Guns - McClane
Melee - McClane
Counter Terrorism - McClane
Heroics - McClane
Orphan Saving - Bauer

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
But he actually did knock her out.

Considering she got back up seconds later and WTFpwned him again, it's McUnimpressive

[i]Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
His durability endured..and her ass was a storage wallet for an SUV.

You're citing irrelevant parts of the scenes that have nothing to do with H2H

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
More lies.

McClane pwns multiple hostiles with assault rifles gunning at him with one-hit kills from a handgun? When was this?

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
And this was the third time today that you described yourself as McClane...weird.

Like I told Robbie, stop looking in the mirror when you type your posts

Originally posted by Robtard
Let's not get ahead of ourselves, he can tank what we've seen him tank, which is explosions that would have killed a normal person.

He didn't tank a hit from somebody of far less body mass, and couldn't even knock her unconscious, so once again, unimpressive

Originally posted by Robtard
Ah, the good ole "no you!" tactic. Clever.

Like a fox

Originally posted by Robtard
Are you now trying to turn this into another unit of measure? Cos Counter Terrorism suddenly changed into Heroics which then slyly changed into who has better Orphan Saving feats.

Once again, regarding McClane, you're reading off the wrong list.

Originally posted by Lestov16
Once again, regarding McClane, you're reading off the wrong list.

Originally posted by Robtard
Listen, I'm willing to give you that Bauer has better Orphan Saving feats, as McClane didn't really save any orphans, he simply stopped a global crisis that would likely have created millions of orphans, which in turn would need saving. ie Bauer's out of a job cos McClane can do his.

Official List (revised):

H2H - McClane
Guns - McClane
Melee - McClane
Counter Terrorism - McClane
Heroics - McClane
Orphan Saving - Bauer

Be happy, at least Bauer has a score of 1, better than 0.

Originally posted by Lestov16
I'm sorry, they gave you the wrong list. The correct list of measures McClane outclasses Bauer in is Whining, Complaining, Crying, Feces-Eating, Sadako-Felching, and, of course, Deeper Rectum.

✅

Also, I find your H2H argument hilarious. You try to have it both ways. First you say McClane was just an average guy and anyone can get WTFpwned by Mai Lihn's hits, but then you reverse and in the same sentence try to say McClane is this invincible juggernaut who can tank anything,.....which is of course false, given that he got WTFpwned by Mai Lihn's hit

McCirclejerk logic here folks,....

Tony recieves rimjobs from Bauer, and he recieves his from you... so in a way its like your 3rd hand rimming Tony also.

Who is this "Tony"? I don't recall him from the movie.