Corrupt a wish

I'm delicious. biscuits

Done! When you take someone's form you gain their mind, and memories, at the cost of your own, causing you to forget you are a shapeshifter and think you are the real thing.

I wish for bacon that is fresh, delicious, and not a part of me.

You're most beloved one's skin turns into bacon. He/She lives out his/her life in misery as his/her skin rots like old bacon, tearing apart.

I wish for ten pounds of muscle to be added to each major muscle group, and for all adipose, glandular, skin, and fascia tissues to be reduced to hugging my muscles like shrink wrap.

Done! The process destroys your body's ability to store nutrients and you die within a few weeks.

I wish for fresh, delicious bacon that is not a part of me or anyone/anything I care about. uhuh

Granted. Gross amounts of bacon are teleported into your stomach, causing it to burst and you die within a few of days of excruciating misery.

Same wish. 😄

Done!

You receive so much bacon that some of it will inevitably go to waste, driving you to bacon-guilt flavoured suicide. 🙁

I wish for a bed that's not broken so I didn't wake up with a stiff back all the time.

Granted. The bed has spikes for cushion, obviously.

I wish for the strength of twenty men.

Granted, your durability is unchanged and exerting your strength could easily injure or kill you. 131

I wish for McDonald's.

Granted, a McDonald's falls on your house, flattening your home and killing you and all you care about.

I wish to be a necrophiliac.

Granted, everyone you find attractive lives forever.

I wish I were taller.

Granted, your neck extends twenty feet long, but due the weight of your head it snaps, and as your head falls down you headbutt your nuts so hard you begin to vomit, on your nuts.

I wish I was less awesome.

Granted, you now have Robtard's taste in thrash bands.

I wish for nothing to change at all. What now?

You continue to remain a bitter, jobless, girlfriendless loser with nothing to look forward to in life.

I wish Bob Saget would blow me.

Granted, you spend the entire time imagining the events of The Aristocrats, and he uses teeth. At the end, assuming you can make it through the mental imagery of said joke and climax, he spits. Also he has a coldsore.

I wish to cease physically aging.

Kay, I kill you. That'll stop the aging.

I wish for 500 wishes.

Granted, but you can only wish for a shorter dick each time.

I wish I did not have to eat to survive and undergo muscle hypertrophy and every other bodily function normally just from absorbing solar energy through my cells like Superman.

Granted, but each molecule in your body is optically rotated 180 degrees, making all organic food deadly to you. See the right-handed amino acid-structured enzymes using left-handed amino acids.

I wish I had time to sleep.

Granted, your academic history has been erased, you are no longer in College and must now flip burgers....leaving you plenty of time to sleep and get on KMC.

I wish to start my life over with what I know now, call it psi-conscious memory since you're all scientific.

Kay, you are born an driven insane because of your bodies inability to move and you regress mentally under the stress.

I wish for a castle to be made for moi at no charge to myself.

Granted. It's made of ice, is extremely uncomfortable to live in, and will melt in the spring, probably killing you if you are inside. Also you don't own the land it's built on and are fined.

I wish I had mod powers.

I'll simply make a lake with it by digging a hole around it.

Granted, you now wield the ban hammer. Too bad for you it's too heavy for you to lift through any means.

I wish to be a ninja.