A man walks into a chemist and asks the counter girl "excuse me, could you point me to the tampons?"
The counter girl says "just over there sir, isle 3"
The man thanks her and walks off to isle 3. 20 minutes later the man comes back with a bag of cotton balls and a ball of string.
The counter girl has a look of confusion and asks " I thought you were looking for tampons?"
The man responds " well you see it's like this, I am a smoker and my wife just got me a pouch of tobacco and some paper because its 'soooo much cheaper' so I figured if I have to roll my own... So does she"
What's the difference between Australia and Tatooine? One is a desolate wasteland, the other is Tatooine.
How many Aborigines does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question - they haven't even invented the wheel yet.
"Nelson Mandela dies at 95" Respect where it's due...that's 5 miles per hour faster than Paul Walker.