A man witnessed a rape and was called to testify in court. The Judge asked him, "What did you you see sir?"
The man replied, " I stood at the window and looked in m'Lord. They were fvcking!"
The judge stopped him and reminded him that they were in a court of law and he needed to choose his words more carefully.
The man stood and thought for a while and replied:
"His shirt was up, his arse was bare.
His balls were hanging in the air.
He put his u know what into her u know where.
Now if that s not fvcking m'Lord.... i wasn't there."
In sophomore year, we had a science class with a rather attractive female teacher and I was a quiet rather shy kid at the back of the class. While we were going over the digestive system when one kid innocently asked “Ms. G, why do we swallow?” to which i screamed from my seat “Because spitters are quitters!!” and the student proceeded to get out of his seat and run over and high five me before the two us had to see the principal.