stuff I've written!

well, that was heart rending! tissue anyone? *offers box of cleanex around*

The ODD bit is the way that Lily was in a REALLY good mood after writing those. Do your poems put you in a good mood, Lara?

actually ... I'll want a tissue 🙁

eeeeeuw don't tell us what you are doing.

being sad and watery eyes, why?
you don't like that?

Thanks for the compliments everyone🙂

The reason I was in a good mood after I wrote them was because the person I wrote them for enjoyed them very much.
I have written some very depressing poems in my life where I've cried for hours afterwards. Perhaps I could find one.....

making everyone cry even harder 🙁

Indeed I did save a few, but will only share two of mine. The first was written a long time ago just after a hard break-up. The second was written during a hard time of mine.

Severed

What a mistake I have seem to have made
I look at you, once the person I always turned to
And now I see a stranger with your eyes
I laugh to myself, trembling with fear
Because I once depended on you with my whole being
And how I depend on you still
The fear cuts through this severed life of mine
Without you my life is incomplete
You were the one who held me until it was over
Until you had no more tears left to give me
And I no tears to return to you
We needed each other like the flower needs the sun
My fault cast the sun out and it is now the season of storm
And without any light I am dying slowly
I am empty without you
I am nothing without you
I am without a piece of my heart
I left it as a solemn goodbye in your hand one night
In hopes you may remember my soft-spoken words
Every whisper in the dark’s eye was uttered in truth
And I turn the clock of sorrow back to change it
But I can get down on my knees,
With the child’s hope of forgiveness
But forgiveness is gone in your hands.

© Lily 2003

Inside

I ache for the depth of sadness that kills me inside
Each smile I fake for the unseen camera
My answers to questions that demand a no
My mask over my eyes to hide it all away
And it eats me inside, slowly in anguish
I am not me to authority when in my cage
And I say and do what is only expected
As the little girl I was ceases to exist
Inside she dies from the caress of the blade
The walls around close in on me
The pressure digs under my pale skin
The flame flickers, waiting for time
But it has all been forgotten outside
And I am mute on the inside
INSIDE I am trapped in my of cushioned walls
OUTSIDE the demon has taken over
So I shut my eyes and find escape inside
The dead body that was once me
I ache for the depth of sadness that kills me INSIDE

© Lily 2003

Awwwwwwwww! Very sweet! Nice.

I can relate to those, but the context in which you wrote them might be different from the context in which I'm reading them.

no Ush, after I've finished writting I dont feel anything, just numbness.

Hmmm... does anyone want to make an attempt at explaining the difference here, then? Lily and Lara would have the most insight, of course.

😕

Errr... Lily will have some insight, I am sure!

Lili you cant say that they dont rime
they are sort of rap but realy emotional
have you thought much about rapping??????

Ush! I have no Idea what your talking about! what insight and into what?

About why your similar-subjected works leave you feeling so differently.

just diferent ways of handling our feelings I guess. perhaps where lily puts her words down onto the paper she transfers those particular feelings and leaves them with the paper.

where as I know that once I've written it down, the way I feel is confirmed, if you like written in stone, but it still remains with me like an invisible baggage that I know will always be there and it will haunt me! some time sI forget about it and other times it gets dragged up by some thing some one says or a memory or by a place/smell/ornament anything. I can let it go if you like!

Then what is your reason for writing them poems???
coz some do it to let their feelings out and not take them out on sombody else
is it the same with you????

Me, rap? No, can't say I have. 😛

Lara, you've described me perfectly! When I write about a specific emotion I'm feeling, that feeling tends to leave me for a little while (as you said, onto the paper). The feelings end up returning as the situation develops, but for that short period of time, I hold a small feeling of relief and numbness. I'm sure it sounds confusing, but it's the best way I can describe it. 🙄

Ahhh, I see...