Fortunately/Unfortunately

unfortunately its been snapped in two

fortunately now ya have two pokers...sorta

unfortunately the dog likes eatings metal (weird dog)

fortunately while the dog is eatin' the metal ya can run away to find a sink

unfortunately the dog has your smell and chases after you( after eating the poker)

fortunately since ya are still wearin' polka dots, people notice an' go to help

unfortunately most of the people just stand there and laugh

fortunately one of them has a video camera an' wins in a funniest home video contest

unfortunately they win $250, and you get nothing

fortunately a week later they are bit by your dog

unfortunately they sue(don't know if i spelled it right) you

(Yeah ya did spell it right)
fortunately the judge is your father

unfortunately he's hated you ever since you burned down the house when you were a kid

fortunately mom understands why ya burned down the house an' forced dad to make ya the winner

unfortunately when you leave the court you trip and break your leg

fortunately before the hearing the dog bit ya an' ya can't feel the horrible pain becuase he was rabid

unfortunately you break your arm as well

fortunately the people that sued ya see ya on the ground

unfortunately they just laughed and walked off

fortunately they tripped on the blood that spilled out when your bone cut the skin