Fortunately/Unfortunately

fortunately you can run faster than the snake

unfortunately the snake spits poison venom

fortunately it's a constrictor so it doesn't have fangs

unfortunately the constrictor catches you

fortunately you just came from the swingers party and you are covered in oil...slips away...

unfortunately the oil attracts killer bees

fortunately ya jump into your car before the bees get ya

unfortunately the windows were rolled down and their manual, not power

fortunately the bees are dumb an' they all ram into the window shield

unfortunately you drive into a tree cuz you can't see though all the bee carcasses(sp)

fortunetley the tree you run into is the gateway to Gummy Glen! Home of the Gummi Bears!

unfortunately ya run into the orges of gummy glen before the gummies

fortunately the gummies have powerful weapons to save you from the ogres

unfortunately midattack the gummies run out of gummy juice an' can't bounce anymore

Fortunatley the Smurfs are nearby and they all have a big colorful orgy!

unfortunately Gargamel and Ariel come along and tape it

fortunately the tape sells for millions, an' everyone becomes famous! (I couldn't of anythin' else)

Unfortunaetly smurfette gets pregnant and they don't know from who.

fortunately Dna tests prove it was a green gummy bear

unfortunately the green gummy bear ran off an' they can't find him