Simpsons funiest quotes

"I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's"

Other Children - "Ewwwwwwwwww"

Marge - "What the Dilio"

"Dental Plan.....Lisa needs braces.....Dental Plan.....Lisa needs braces....Dental Plan.....Lisa needs braces....."

Newscaster after taking a photo of homer falling out of the shower, pulling the shower curtain over himself - "Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tank, which he believes gives him sexual powers"

Homer - "Hey, that's the half truth!"

(Homer about to get struck by rhino)

Homer: Jesus, Allah, Buddha, I love you all.

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Principal Skinner: I'm going to enjoy devouring you, Bart Simpson. Yes... I believe I'll start, as you've so often suggested, by eating your shorts.

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Marge: You can't ask God to kill someone.
Homer: Yeah. Do your own dirty work.

Homer saying "DOH!" is a laugh for me.

BART: Mom! you gotta help me, I need something to take for show-and-tell!

MARGE: How about a potatoe? *holds up potatoe* it's pretty big.

BART: Mom your always trying to get me to bring a potatoe, what is it with you?

MARGE: I just think they're neat.

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PRINCIPAL SKINNER: Now I've learned that a student is using his imagination on this bus, and I've come to put a stop to it!

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LISA: Mom, Dad! Mr Burns bit Bart and now Bart's a vampire!

HOMER: Oh Lisa! you and your lies, Bart is a vampire! beer kills brain cells! now lets all go home to that place.....were our beds and TV.....is......

Smithers! there is a rocket in my pocket! -You don't have to tell me sir!

Scenario: Homer is driving on a lawn....

Homer: DOH!
Lisa: A dear!
Marge: A female dear! 😂

Lisa is in the music room:

L- Lisa
A- All the students
M- Milhouse
J- Janey
O- Ooter
T- Teacher

L- I was laughing at something outside
J- She was laughing at Nelson!
A- Lisa likes Nelson
M- She does not
A- Milhouse likes lisa
J- He does not!
A- Janey likes Milhouse
O- She does not
A- Ooter likes Milhouse
T- NOBODY LIKES MILHOUSE!!

😆

Scenerio: (Homer driving to Flintstones Theme)

Homer: Simpson, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in historeee.

From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut treee. AHHGGH!!!!!

(Hits Tree)

wtf bump

"Please do not offer my god a peanut." -Apu

"I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming." -Homer

"A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner." -Mr.Burns

"It taste like burning." -Ralph

"I’ve done everything the Bible says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!" -Flanders

(Homer pulls a chip inplant from his brain)

Homer: "There! I did it, and without suffering any brain damage-amage-amage-amage-amage....."

Mr. Burns: For centuries Man has yearned to blow-up the Sun.

Homer: The word "unblowupable" gets thrown around alot these days.

Homer(after watching someone get in a horrible accident on TV): Haha, it's funny 'cause I don't him.

Homer: I like you more than other people.

Homer: Ohhhhh I don't want to live in a world without the income you produce.

Homer: I hope I didn't brain my damage.

Any Mr. burns, homer, Comic book guy or Disco Stu quote.

Disco Stu: Disco stu wants you to be comfortable while he does his thing.

Ralph: My cats breath smells like cat food.
Ralph: Fun toys are fun.

Moe: Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes'

Moe: You know what I blame this on the breakdown of? Society.

Moe: Yeah, so last night I was closing up the bar, when some young punk comes in and tries to stick me up.
Sideshow Mel: Whatever did you do, Moe?
Moe: Well, it coulda been a real ugly situation, but, I managed to shoot him in the spine. [crowd claps and cheers]
Moe: Yeah. I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp!

The Springfield Monorail Episode:

Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...

Homer: Is it Batman?

Marge: No, he's a scientist.

Homer: Batman's a scientist?!

Marge: It's not Batman!

I think this came from the episode when Marge sues Mr. Burns for Sexual Harrasment. Homer delivers a great line:

“Always blame it on the guy who doesn't speak English”

Dr. Nick: The Coroner? I'm so sick of that guy

Dr. Nick: Just call 1800 Doctorb! The B is for bargain!

Dr. Nick: [singing] The kneebone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch... Uh oh.

Dr. Nick: Why, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McGreg. With a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.

Dr. Nick: Ah...such a nice day...i think i'll go out the window

Dr. Nick: Inflammable means flammable?

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Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

Chief Wiggum:Well let me ask you this...Shut up

Chief Wiggum: We're underneath the earths sun.....now

Ralph: Daddy...mummy has bosums like that
Chief Wiggum: Yeah....i wish

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Homer: It's the first of the month! new bilboard day!

Homer: Ah! Cobras!

Homer: You don't snuggle with Max Power...You strap yourself in and feel the Gees

Homer: Linguo...Dead
Linguo: Linguo IS dead

Homer: I'm sorry, i thought he was a party robot

Homer: [singing] My balonga has a first name...its H-O-M-E-R My balogna has a second name its H-O-M-E-R

Homer: Marge! the dolls trying to kill me and the toasters been laughing at me!

Lisa: Dad, whats a muppet?
Homer: Well...its not quite a mop, its not quite a puppet but man[laughs] so to answer your question i dont know.

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Apu: I can't believe you dont shut up

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Homeless dude: You really are duffman! then i must be jesus! up up and away!

ralph: Your all wrinkly...somebody should iron you 🙂

Gay Steel Mill Worker: (In gay accent) "Hot stuff coming through!"