Originally posted by Victor Von Doom
Moe: Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes'Moe: You know what I blame this on the breakdown of? Society.
Moe: Yeah, so last night I was closing up the bar, when some young punk comes in and tries to stick me up.
Sideshow Mel: Whatever did you do, Moe?
Moe: Well, it coulda been a real ugly situation, but, I managed to shoot him in the spine. [crowd claps and cheers]
Moe: Yeah. I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp!
Moe is awesome, all ace quotes.
Simpsons Tide Episode
There are loads of funny scenes but this one i always remember Mr Burns reaction at the end of this scene always makes me laugh
Mr smithers . err sir we found the problem some idiot threw this in the reactor core
Homer . Success
Mr Burns . You did this how could you be so irresponsible
Homer . Its my first day
Mr Burns . Since iv'e never seen you before maybe it is your first very well carry on
Mr smithers . err sir thats homer simpson he's been working here for over 10 years
Mr Burns . Ohh really why did you think you could lie to me
Homer . Its my first day
Mr Burns . well why didn't you say jwhoooo YOUR FIRED 😆
Hank Scorpio: I have to go, somebody ate part of my lunch.
Chief Wiggum, on returning home: Hi honey, Ralphie, it's me, Chief Wiggum.
Homer: Who the hell is that? Some kind of leader?
Fat Tony: What's a truck?
Troy McClure: And my recent trouble with the IRS sealed the deal.
Lionel Hutz: I watched Matlock in a bar last night, the sound was off but I think I got the gist of it.
Bart: What happened to you Lisa? You used to be cool.
Lisa: No I didn't.
Mr Burns: They're hunting us down like a couple of common Snow Leopards.
Apu: This is just between me and you, smashed hat.
I'm sure there are millions that I forgot.
I have about a million favourites. 😬
Here's just a few.
--
Bart: Look at my eyes! See the sincerity? See the conviction? See the fear? As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade!
Homer: And if you don't, at least you'll be bigger than the other kids.
--
Homer: [strangling Bart] BOY... MUST... DIE!
Bart: I love you, Dad!
Homer: D'oh! [stops strangling] Dirty trick. Okay, I'm not going to kill you, but I'm going to tell you three things that are gonna haunt you for the rest of your days. You've ruined your father, you've crippled your family, and baldness is hereditary!
Bart: It is?!
--
Narrator: Quoth the raven-
Bart: Eat my shorts!
--
Mr. Burns: Ironic, isn't it Smithers. This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you!
--
Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
Homer: No way, because I'm not dying!
Dr. Hibbert: Second is anger.
Homer: [yelling] Why you little!
Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
Homer: [worried] What's after fear? What's after fear?!
Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
Homer: Doc, you gotta get me outta this. I'll make it worth your while.
Dr. Hibbert: Finally acceptance.
Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.
--
Barney: Hey Homer! You're late for English!
Homer: English, who needs that? I'm never going to England.
--
Bart: No way, she's faking! If Lisa stays home, I stay home.
Lisa: If Bart stays home, I'm going to school.
Bart: Fine, then... Wait a minute... If Lisa goes to school, then I go to school, but then Lisa stays home, so I stay home, so Lisa goes to school...
Marge: Lisa, don't confuse your brother like that.
--
Homer's Brain: Don't you get it? You've got to use reverse psychology.
Homer: That sounds too complicated.
Homer's Brain: OK, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: All right, I will!