101 Things I would LOVE to be able to say to customers!

Originally posted by ~Angel~
I wish we had caller ID at work. That way when the lady who calls us every day looking for the new TY beanie babies calls, I can pretend we have an automated answering system.

I would be like:
"thank you for calling ______ Hallmark.
If you are calling to talk to a manager, press 1.
If you are calling to talk to a sales associate, press 2.

*presses 2*
- I'm sorry, all sales associates are currently unavailable.
If you are calling to place an order, press 3.

*presses 3*
-If you are calling to order TY Beanie Babies, press 1.
- Currently, our in store stock shows that there are no new Beanies since you called last. Just like yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that...........😄

I thought Beanie Babies went out in 1998.

No. Even though you bought the ****ing movie ticket, we're not going to let you back in if you leave.

Okay, which theatre did the box office guy tell you to go to? BELIEVE HIM!!!!!

No, you cannot give me a dollar in nickles you *******

Originally posted by Lan©eWindu
I thought Beanie Babies went out in 1998.

ok, so today I am standing outside superdrug, wearing a superdrug t-shirt, with a superdrug namebadge, handing out sales leaflets.

Over twenty people asked me "Are these for Superdrug?"

idiots!

bump! 😊

i would like to say "Sir, I am customer service so I will make the F*ckin' jokes around here"

I was ringing up an old man who paid with his purchase with a 20.00 - when I counted back his change I counted back starting with 1-2-3-,

He interupts and starts with young people nowadays don't know how to count back change . . . he instructs me to count back starting with the total and reaching the 20.00 dollars.

Anyway I'm so sick of him and "young people nowadays" . . . that I tell him that almost every single person who shops in my store doesn't have enough brain cells to understand if I did count the money back that way.

He leaves without anothe word.

Here's another one . . . I actually got myself in some deep trouble for this, though the result was three days off in a row.

I work at Payless ShoeSource, and what we call the overstock, shoes we store over the racks and so many times touch the ceiling, (Fire Regulations be damned) . . . the company wont allow us to put signs on the rack telling customers to ask for our help if they see something from up above they would like down.

So the result is that a lot of people try to go in the overstock, which is hazardous to everyones health.

Anyway, on a Saturday, in our busiest season, a man was trying to go in the overstock - I asked three times if he needed help - three times he said he was fine. Then just as I turned my back to help someone else, he gets on a bench and tried to pull a stack of shoes down that is eight high.
I lose it, not a little crack in composure but a complete blow-up.

"What in the hell do you think you are doing Sir? I'm right here to help - do you not realize that there are little children right by you, when and not if - your drop those boxes you will hit those children."

He was stunned and then out of his mouth. "I'm a customer with money, don't you think I can just walk right out the door to one of the other shoe stores if you're not nicer to me."

Out of my mouth "Do you really think I'm going to miss you!"

I got the next three days off . . . . it was suppose to be a punishment - I just didn't see it that way.

Originally posted by Phoenix
ok, so today I am standing outside superdrug, wearing a superdrug t-shirt, with a superdrug namebadge, handing out sales leaflets.

Over [B]twenty people asked me "Are these for Superdrug?" [/B]