*camera goes to Doom's eyes under his face plate and he looks very determined. You can almost see the fire burning in his eyes. It's obvious that he's very determined and is about to do something very important*
Dr. Doom: I must shove that kryptonite up Superman's butthole!
*maybe not...*
Dr. Doom: But to do that, I must first steal that kryptonite from Batman and that may prove difficult for some people but not Doctor Victor Von Doom! Now
to come up with one of my famous ingenious plans!
*Goes into bathroom then comes out dressed as a pizza boy*
Dr. Doom: *Blinks at Magneto as he walks by him*
Magneto: Oh brother...
Dr. Doom: *Walks up to Batman* Hello sir I have the pizza you ordered and I'll be more then happy to take that kryptonite as payment!
Magneto: Like that'll ever work
Batman: *Gives Doom a long hard serious look*
Dr. Doom: *Starts sweating*
Batman: Took you long enough! *throws kryptonite at him* Now go away!
Dr. Doom: At last it's mine! Muahahaha!
Magneto: *Stares at Doom skipping around the bar* I need a new job...
Dr. Doom: Now to devise a way of shoving this Kryptonite up his butthole. *sits down and thinks for hours.*
Thing: *Sees Doom in deep thought and walks up to him* Whatcha thinking about?
Dr. Doom: For your information I am thinking of a way to shove this kryptonite up Superman's butthole without getting ripped in half
Thing: DUDE!!! SICK! *punches Doom, knocking him out almost instantly*
Dr. Doom: *Wakes up an hour later* I've got it! Thanks Thing!
Thing: (Drunk again) No problem dude! *passes out*
Dr. Doom: Firstly, I have to make Superman go to the bathroom *walks up to Colossus* You wouldn't happen to have any laxative that makes people want to take a dump would you?
Colossus: No but Thing does. He sometimes finds it hard to take a dump with that rocky skin of his. I, on the other hand
Dr. Doom: *Runs to Thing before Colossus can finish his sentence* I'm constipitated, you wouldn't happen to have something to help me would you?
Thing: *half conscious on the floor* Yeah lemme just find it *sticks hand in pants and takes out an anvil, a tire, then* Ah, here it is *takes out milk of magnesia* here
you go buddy. One spoon of this and you will be on the toilet in minutes.
Dr. Doom: Thanks. I don't even wanna know why you had this in your pants. Now to somehow make Superman take this.
Superman: *Sitting at counter*
Magneto: May I help you sir.
Superman: Yeah I'll have one drink please
Magneto: Coming right up
Dr. Doom: *Pours all of the laxative into a drink then crawls under the counter and pokes Magneto's legs* Give this to him or I will destroy you!
Magneto: *Rolls eyes then gives it to Superman* Here you go sir
Superman: Thanks *starts drinking it*
Dr. Doom: *Runs into the bathroom then blasts all of the toilets until only one is left standing*
Magneto: *Comes in the bathroom* Doom what are you up to this time? (Sighs)
Dr. Doom: *Takes off all his armor and jumps in the toilet*
Magneto: *Walks up to the toilet and stares down at him* Have you ever considered seeing a guidance counselor?
Dr. Doom: Go away! Superman is mine, mine I tell you! Heeheehee
Magneto: Riggggght *Walks out*
Superman: *Finishes drinking* Wow I have to take a huge dump! *flies to the bathroom and runs to the toilet that Dr. Doom is in and sits on it*
Dr. Doom: *Spreads Superman's butt cheeks then takes out the kryptonite and prepares to shove it up his butthole*
Superman: This must be one of those new toilets from Japan that clean your ass. Well clean this! *Does a huge fart*
Dr. Doom: Ahhhhh! Not like this! Not like this!
*Superman's huge fart sends Dr. Doom all the way down the drain and into the sewer*
Dr. Doom: This isn't the end Superman! *sees a crocodile* Oh crap ahhhh! *runs away*