*Camera goes to fight*
*Juggernaut and Hulk are fighting while Green Lantern overlooks*
*Martain Manhunter flies over to see what happened.*
Martain Manhunter: What is going on why are they fighting?
Green Lantern: well I guess they went on the computer and read some thread on a site called KMC.
Martain Manhunter: So why would that cause them to fight?
Green Lantern: well I guess the thread talked about which one would win between them now they argueing about it themselves. What should I do MM I mean should we try and break it up or leave them be?
Martain Manhunter: Well they can't fight forever just stand here and watch them to make sure they don't get to out of hand.
*Martain Manhunter flies off*
*24 Hours later the fight is still going on*
*Martain Manhunter flies back to find Green Lantern asleep*
Martain Manhunter: Wake up you fool
*Green Lantern snaps awake*
Green Lantern: Yes SIR
Martain Manhunter: They are still fighting what happened
(Green Lantern looks at the ground) GL: Well they just kept fighting and I was only following orders but I got tired and fell asleep.
Martain Manhunter: Well now is the time we break them apart. You take the guy with the helmet I will take the Green Giant wanna be. Now move out.
*Green Lantern Blasts Juggernaut with his ring and sends flying back into the wall.*
GL: Now do you wanna stop peacefully or do I have to make you stop.
*Juggernaut starts walking forward*
GL: Then you leave me no choice.
*Starts blasting him with his ring but Juggernaut doesn't stop moving forward.*
GL: Um this ain't supposed to happen.
*He keeps moving forward closer to and closer to GL a yellow stain appears on GL's pants which causes his powers to fade.*
*But before he can get knocked out by Juggernaut a rock fist appears out of nowhere*
*Thing comes in Kocks out Green Lantern then Passes out*
Juggernuat: I was gonna do that to took my KO from me you B*stard.
*Thing wakes up punches Juggernaut but Juggernaut isn't knocked out and Thing doesn't pass out*
Thing: OH SNAP!!!!
*Juggernaut knocks out thing in tree punches then walks away saying he has better THINGS TO DO.*
*Meanwhile over at Hulk we see him cuddled in Martain Manhunter's arms with his thumb in his mouth*
Martain Manhunter: Mary had a little lamb little lamb Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow.
Hulk: Sang me some more you are like the father I never had.
*Martain Manhunter sings some more unti lHulk falls asleep then goes back to Banner.*
*Martain Manhunter then looks around to see if anyone is looking*
*No one is so he rips Banner in two pieces killing him*
*Camera Fades to Black*
(Continued if anyone liked it)
Camera goes to Batman and Thor playing darts. Batman is throwing perfect bulleyes;
Thor is too, splitting Batman's darts with his.
Batman: Good accuracy. Now you're throwing then without breaking them first,
or mashing the board.
Thor: Tis a delicate weapon; subtle, even sneaky. Not what I'm used to, but a good challenge.
*A ruckus of noise and voices comes from the rear of the bar*
Batman: What now?
*We see Wonder Woman storming behind the bar, Superman following her*
Superman: How could you do it with Captain America?! What's so special about him?
Wonder Woman: What difference does it make, he's been disintergreated!
Superman: In the bathroom...with everyone watching? You...we...did nothing even close to...
Wonder Woman: You never had imagination like that, Clark. Your farm-boy sensibilities...
Superman: Don't call me that! You know I hate that name!
Wonder Woman: Sorry...your country-hick-ass sensibilities, is that better?
*Superman's eyes begin smouldering*
Wonder Woman: Shut off the heat-vision, or the conversation's over. (Superman does)
What can I say? Steve, he was a war hero. And I love a man in uniform. He just brought
something out of me, mmm...
Superman: Yes; I can see it coming out of your mouth.
Wonder Woman: An Amazon Princess not suppose to talk in such a way, hmm?
Maybe you didn't know me, really. Now, I'm busy with customers. Either buy a drink,
or jerk yourself a soda, farm-boy!
Superman: ARRGH!*smashes a whole line of chairs down the length of the bar, right into
Doomsday, who loses his drink on the ground. DD growls and stomps towards Superman*
Doomsday: That was 40-year old scotch, you blue fa...
Superman:*eyes blaze with heat-vision; stabs a finger at DD* NOT.NOW.*walks off
to the back; DD scratches his head, then returns to the bar*
Camera goes back to Batman and Thor, who watched it all.
Batman: (Sighs)Sometimes I wonder about that teammate of mine. For all his power,
still a naive amateur. I have to always remember ways to keep him in check. Is it worth it?Hmm.
If only I hadn't paid for the pizza with that kryptonite. But that delivery boy was convincing...
(trails off, thinking)
Thor: Thy unyielding temperment rivals that of my comrade, Hogun The Grim. Yet, thou
speakest some truth. Yon kryptonian is a braggart who cheats at thumb wrestling! (Suddenly
feeling angry) Verily, I will force him to a rematch. If he has honour, he cannot refuse! Or I will
drink him under the table, mayhaps! He will be brought to heel tonight, I swear!! (Takes
mjolnir in hand and starts to walk towards Superman, but Batman grabs his arm)
Batman: Hold it! I've got a better idea - more subtle. You'll like it. * Batman beckonds
towards Rogue, who smiles and leaps over the bar to join them. The three stand in whispering
conversation*
( 1/2 hour later)
Camera goes to Superman alone at a table; over a dozen empty bottles sit in front of him,
but he's only a little buzzed.
Superman: (muttering)'I love a man in Uniform'! What m'I supposed to do, join up? Start as a
private? I couldn't do that. It's hard enough having to take orders from that pompous prick
Bruce; know-it-all. But, to get promoted an officer( lighting up) yeah..captain...
Captain Superman - cool. She'll have to respect me again, Diana; I know it...hm?
*Superman's train of thought is interrupted by Colossus, standing in front of him
with a cheery grin*
Superman:...Yes?
Colossus: Sorry to bother you sir, but I have a request to make, on behalf of my friend.
*pulls out Wolverine from behind him, keeps a restraining arm around his shoulder* He would
like to test his claws out on you, to see if the stories are true.*Wolverine pops out his claws,
does his most friendly smile*
Superman: Get lost. And no autographs, either.
Colossus: Right sir, thank you for your time.*walks away forcibly dragging Wolverine*
Come on, he said no.
Wolverine: You Siberian farm-boy f**k!! Why'd I listen to you?? 'He's reasonable,
just ask him!' F**k, I'll have to sneak up later, come downwind, no he couldn't smell me,
could he? I'm tellin ya, I won't leave here without trying to slice a piece of his as...
Colossus: Forget it, tovarich, I don't care! I'm telling the professor!
Wolverine: (mewling) 'I'm telling the professor!' Ah, just get me some Canadian whiskey,
you hood ornament!
*Camera goes back to Superman*
Superman: Heck, maybe a need to kick some bodies around here, let off some steam.
*A hand falls on his shoulder*Oh, what now?
Batman: Clark, it's Thor. Doesn't look good. I need your help.
*Camera goes to Thor bent down on the ground, making sickly heaving sounds. He's
surrounded by a pile of banana skins*
Batman: I was teling him about banana dacquries; I don't think he's ever had bananas before.
Plowed down a bunch of them first, then drank from the barrel. You have to get him to the
bathroom; if he's sick out here, I'll be a mess.
Superman: No problem.(bends over to Thor's ear) Can you make it to the bathroom, Thor?
I don't want your godly fluids on my suit.
Batman: Speaking of fluids, what's this story from Diana - that you shoot blanks?
Superman: WHAT!*whirls up to face Batman, but is unsteadly due to slight tipsyness and
banana skins. In a flash, Thor spins and takes out Superman's legs, who falls flat on his back.
In a blink, Thor takes mjolnir and simply lies it on Superman's chest, then stands up.*
(Stunned)What's going on??*tries to move, but is pinned down tight by mjolnir*
OK very funny, Thor. Pick up your hammer.
Batman: No, he won't.
Superman: What? Oh, I see. Another perfectly executed plan, Bruce. Big brain.
Joke's over. Let me up.
Batman: We look too much alike, Clark. That's always bothered me.
Superman: Huh?*suddenly he is straddled by Rogue, wearing a lascivious grin* Oh oh.
Rogue: Just how I like my men, Sugah!*she kisses him before he can push her away; he falls
unconscious in seconds. Rogue bulks up in size as she steals his power. She holds his arms
pinned* (winks at Batman) All ready for you, hot stuff!
*Batman actually smiles in return*
( 1/2 hour later)
*Camera is on Superman, still pinned by mjolnir*
Superman: Wha..what she do to me? (Rubs his woozy head) Huh? Thor! Thor! Get this
mallet off! (glances to side, sees Siver Surfer) Hey there! Surfer! Come here a moment!
*Surfer walks over, looks at Superman with an approving smile*What's different about me?
Sliver Surfer: Nothing important.
Superman: My hair's been shaved off. Except in the middle. Is this a mohawk? BRUCE!
YOU GAVE ME A MOHAWK, DIDN'T YOU?
Batman: (Distant)Speak up, Clark. What?
Superman: Stand in front of me Surfer, so I can see!*Surfer does, and Superman sees his
reflection*AHHHHGGHHH! I've been dyed purple!! What kind of college-hazing sh*t
is this???
Silver Surfer: (mock serious)By Zenn-La, he cursed!
Superman: BRUCE! THOR! I'll get you for this!!!
Batman:*walkng closer, with Thor* Oh, the purple? Left-over from the lounge renovation.
Quick drying and long lasting I hear. I thought of blue to match your suit, but...
Silver Surfer: Maybe you and Thanos could team up, be the PurpleManGroup!(Chuckles)
Yes, you could be joined by that one from the Imperial Guard, what's his name - say, now that
I think of it, with the purple & mohawk, you look just like Gladia...
Superman: RAAGGHH!!*pounds his arms on the unbreakable floor, shaking the room*
I swear Thor, you take this hammer back, or I promise, when I get up...
Thor: Threats from a garishy-clad mortal do not impress a God.*shakes severed jerry-curl
over his face* I thank thee for the souvenier lock, however!
*Superman lashes out with heat vision, but can't turn to face Batman or Thor. Thor pulls
hand back.*
Superman: Bruce, you'll go down with him!
Batman: Who's the man, Clark?
Superman: ...come on.
Batman: WHO'S THE F**KING MAN?
Superman:...You are.
Batman: Thank you. No more questions. Let's go*He and Thor walk away. Superman pounds
the floor again with incredible violence; the patrons are all watching now,
shaking in their chairs*
Superman: You think I'm gonna stay pinned forever?!?! By the hammer of that blonde
dumbass?? I'm getting up, and taking over this place! NOW!!!
Batman: (yells)So get up - SUPER-man!
*Superman grinds his teeth, smashes his arms and legs up and down, but the floor holds.
Not realising, the more he struggles, the deeper mjolnir is sinking into his chest, one slight
millimeter by another. After a minute, a loud snap is heard through the bar.
Superman: GAAACCCKKK!*claws at his chest; the hammer has crushed his ribs into his
lungs. His head shakes as he gasps for air, shakes, then rolls over sideways, dead.
Thor: Zounds! Mjolnir - to me!*the hammer lifts from Superman's sunken chest and flies to
Thor's hand*
Batman: (shrugs) More brawn than brains, that farm-boy. Still, his city might need some taking
care of.
Thor: I can drop in from time to time; an opportunity perhaps, to establish another church
of mine!
Batman: (Looks at him curiously) Sure. Just leave Gotham to me, all right?
Thor: My word is thine, cowled one. Wench, more mead and mutton!
TO BE CONTINUED...?