sitting on these stairs
lit cigarette in hand
sitting in the dark
sifting through these thoughts
tears stop and start intermittently
anger flashing through
exhaustion beating the best of me
confusion over rules
these thoughts so drastically unfiled
how am i to pull through?
in this morbid reality
I'm sitting waiting for you.
spinning faster and faster
this ride i want to get off
how cant i do that
when i'm being deprived, singled out and sent off?
why do i deserve such punishment?
don't you think i suffer enough?
the way i am now is your fault
so don't tell I'm the one with the problem and your the one who's cross.
I've dealt with this for years on end
and still you refuse to listen
its not my fault you got snared
its not my fault you've been bitten.
stop stripping me of my life
simply because your bored
I'm not part of your silly game
I just want to live my life
tired of playing with the other two
you want to inflict as much damage as you can
play with me and f**k up my life
just pray you can run like the wind.
04/10/05
Originally posted by Lara
sounds like a similar situation what I'm in.
life gets a big F**K OFF from me!
Originally posted by Larawow.... still pissed eh? is it better now?
sitting on these stairs
lit cigarette in hand
sitting in the dark
sifting through these thoughtstears stop and start intermittently
anger flashing through
exhaustion beating the best of me
confusion over rulesthese thoughts so drastically unfiled
how am i to pull through?
in this morbid reality
I'm sitting waiting for you.spinning faster and faster
this ride i want to get off
how cant i do that
when i'm being deprived, singled out and sent off?why do i deserve such punishment?
don't you think i suffer enough?
the way i am now is your fault
so don't tell I'm the one with the problem and your the one who's cross.I've dealt with this for years on end
and still you refuse to listen
its not my fault you got snared
its not my fault you've been bitten.stop stripping me of my life
simply because your bored
I'm not part of your silly game
I just want to live my lifetired of playing with the other two
you want to inflict as much damage as you can
play with me and f**k up my life
just pray you can run like the wind.04/10/05
fatigue seeping in, eyes getting heavy.
I wonder what thoughts and images i will see this night?
will they be of blood and gore like many of my nights before?
or will they be of pleasent delight,
flowers and water and such things of light?
will the angels protect me as vulnerable i lay?
as they roll and play throughout my day
will lady luna protect my soul
as the doe protects its precious foal?
will they stars shine down on me?
as I lay there and sleep, maximum vulnerability.
12:53 AM 11/10/05
Originally posted by Lara
fatigue seeping in, eyes getting heavy.
I wonder what thoughts and images i will see this night?
will they be of blood and gore like many of my nights before?
or will they be of pleasent delight,
flowers and water and such things of light?
will the angels protect me as vulnerable i lay?
as they roll and play throughout my day
will lady luna protect my soul
as the doe protects its precious foal?
will they stars shine down on me?
as I lay there and sleep, maximum vulnerability.12:53 AM 11/10/05
gott gib mir kraft.... that is good, and .... let this tell how i feel, ma chere.
The burn, the awful burn, a brutal wound upon your soul,
This empty, this pain, this world, it takes it's toll...
And you, now alone in the heart you feel besiged,
Your eyes no longer tear, each can only bleed,
And you, as you lay down, fearing the dark and cold,
Your heart, it feels ground out, you're ready to fold...
Baby don't give in yet...
Let these arms hold you as you sleep,
Baby, please don't fret,
Let these hands catch the vitae you weep,
Baby please, don't give in yet.
Now laying down, I pray you feel safe, my armies protecting you,
Honey don't you care, what may come, their strength will see ya through,
Just close, let your eyes fall shut, let this world fade into the dreams,
In those, those wonderful worlds, where everything is not what it seems,
You can have all that you want, You can do anything you feel,
You can choose what you desire, And bring it with you, make it real.
Baby don't give in yet...
Let these arms hold you as you sleep,
Baby, please don't fret,
Let these hands catch the vitae you weep,
Baby please, don't give in yet.
So close to the edge, so close to greatness,
So close to the edge, God as my witness,
Before I let you fall I shall let go,
Before I let you fall You shold know,
You will never fall while I draw breath,
You will never fall 'till I kiss Death,
I can never let you fall...
I can never let you fall...
I cannot control what i dream
the dreams manipulate me
an alter ego lurking deep inside
playing hide and seek with me
chasing me hunting me
laughing at me
wanting my fear, my nerves, my blood my tears
coring me like you scrape the seeds out of melon
can you guard me from myself?
for i cannot, I've tried and tried again and again
only to suffer more and increase the loss.
unfortunately you cannot
but for the thought and gesture I am grateful
your words offer some comfort
however small the sanctuary
it welcomes me, however brief it may be.
may we all be safe in this small but great sanctuary that is KMC.
Originally posted by Lara
I cannot control what i dream
the dreams manipulate me
an alter ego lurking deep inside
playing hide and seek with me
chasing me hunting me
laughing at me
wanting my fear, my nerves, my blood my tears
coring me like you scrape the seeds out of melon
can you guard me from myself?
for i cannot, I've tried and tried again and again
only to suffer more and increase the loss.
unfortunately you cannot
but for the thought and gesture I am grateful
your words offer some comfort
however small the sanctuary
it welcomes me, however brief it may be.
may we all be safe in this small but great sanctuary that is KMC.
Ma cheri, you shall ever be safe with me. This I swear by my blade and my blood. I may not be able to protect thee from dreams and thyself, but I damn well am going to try!
Originally posted by DreamingWarrior
gott gib mir kraft.... that is good, and .... let this tell how i feel, ma chere.The burn, the awful burn, a brutal wound upon your soul,
This empty, this pain, this world, it takes it's toll...
And you, now alone in the heart you feel besiged,
Your eyes no longer tear, each can only bleed,
And you, as you lay down, fearing the dark and cold,
Your heart, it feels ground out, you're ready to fold...Baby don't give in yet...
Let these arms hold you as you sleep,
Baby, please don't fret,
Let these hands catch the vitae you weep,
Baby please, don't give in yet.Now laying down, I pray you feel safe, my armies protecting you,
Honey don't you care, what may come, their strength will see ya through,
Just close, let your eyes fall shut, let this world fade into the dreams,
In those, those wonderful worlds, where everything is not what it seems,
You can have all that you want, You can do anything you feel,
You can choose what you desire, And bring it with you, make it real.Baby don't give in yet...
Let these arms hold you as you sleep,
Baby, please don't fret,
Let these hands catch the vitae you weep,
Baby please, don't give in yet.So close to the edge, so close to greatness,
So close to the edge, God as my witness,
Before I let you fall I shall let go,
Before I let you fall You shold know,
You will never fall while I draw breath,
You will never fall 'till I kiss Death,
I can never let you fall...
I can never let you fall...
Originally posted by Lara
I cannot control what i dream
the dreams manipulate me
an alter ego lurking deep inside
playing hide and seek with me
chasing me hunting me
laughing at me
wanting my fear, my nerves, my blood my tears
coring me like you scrape the seeds out of melon
can you guard me from myself?
for i cannot, I've tried and tried again and again
only to suffer more and increase the loss.
unfortunately you cannot
but for the thought and gesture I am grateful
your words offer some comfort
however small the sanctuary
it welcomes me, however brief it may be.
may we all be safe in this small but great sanctuary that is KMC.
Originally posted by Coldfireheh.... or, thank you oma riches, a mere 12 hour plane ride. 😂 and then one in customs, one to find a cabbie, and probably one more to find you! 😂 so, eh..... 15 hours... give or take. depends on if the metal in me arm and skull sets off the metal detectors in the airport and all......😂 but hey, at least I'm here and there and all over for ya! winkiss hug
That's so beautiful cryAmen to that... We're always here for ya girl hug If you ever need to talk I'm but a PM away 🙂
Originally posted by DreamingWarrior
heh.... or, thank you oma riches, a mere 12 hour plane ride. 😂 and then one in customs, one to find a cabbie, and probably one more to find you! 😂 so, eh..... 15 hours... give or take. depends on if the metal in me arm and skull sets off the metal detectors in the airport and all......😂 but hey, at least I'm here and there and all over for ya! winkiss hug
I'm OK I'm here, in one piece
just focusing on keeping myself on my feet.
alot of time alone I haven't spent
and lots of love i have been sent
thank you all for missing me
it shows me still I have a life to lead
for a long time now, Not have i made my blood spill
and no I no longer do it for a thrill
instead i still patiently by the front door
awaiting that letter that will say
I will have to little more.
but waiting for that is driving me mad
because i feel so very very sad.
I am not alone and this i know so well
that there are people who care for me
even though i try them because I'm ill.
I love you all I'm mean to harm you none
but i do not know where the illness ends and I am begun.
18/10/05
Originally posted by Lara
I'm OK I'm here, in one piece
just focusing on keeping myself on my feet.
alot of time alone I haven't spent
and lots of love i have been sent
thank you all for missing me
it shows me still I have a life to lead
for a long time now, Not have i made my blood spill
and no I no longer do it for a thrill
instead i still patiently by the front door
awaiting that letter that will say
I will have to little more.
but waiting for that is driving me mad
because i feel so very very sad.
I am not alone and this i know so well
that there are people who care for me
even though i try them because I'm ill.
I love you all I'm mean to harm you none
but i do not know where the illness ends and I am begun.18/10/05
notworthy hug winkiss nice to hear from you, hon. and good to see you in somewhat good spirit. i like the poem, too! 😄
pshht... harm done to me? faugh! The only one who can hurt me is me, so never fret of that. I am glad that the will of self-injury is not as bad, and that your veins stay ripe, robust, and full. Let's keep it that way!
Baby, as for the illness and you, this is how I see it.
You begin in the heart, the soul, the essence of being,
The illness began in the mind, a demon winding you into a ring,
Just another toy to flaunt and wear, to cast upon the shroud,
That devil never expected all of us here, bringing forth war's thunderous cloud,
Marching to battle your friends, your loves, all of us just for thee,
To break the ring, the demon as well, to come and to set you free.
You are the heart, the soul of flames, the lady in the lake,
Our fellowship, though miles apart, I pray thee never forsake.
And as this parting breath should leave, I wish it to bring to ye,
A whisper of peace, a whisper of secret, "I'll forever here for you be."
be well hon. hug
wrong forum i know but check out the rose i drew guys.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/24162862/
and again sorry I cant remember if this is classified as spamming or not so if I am pls some one change the link to say "link" I have no idea how to. 😄 thankies. x