*Laurie reaches for bottle of rum*
Laurie: oh noooo all the rum is gone! we've used it all up!
*Gandalf waves arms around madly trying to cast a spell*
Gandalf: aaaaaaaaahhhh mmmaaiiiiiiiaaaaaakeee ruuuoooouuummm appppeeeeeearrrrrr!!
Choose: nope gandalf, you're way too drunk for magic.
Gandalf: 🙁
Bordom: well what are we going to do?
Monkey: BANANAS!
Laurie: anyone any ideas?
Jack (running around wildly): no rum no rum no rum no rum
Liz: well there's an island that has a magic rum supply that never runs out, we'll just have to sail to there! 😱
Monkey: will there be BANANAS there?
Liz: nope, just rum.
Monkey: crybaby
Laurie: well what are we waiting for?
*all set sail for the magic rum island*
Jack (still drunk) : Apparently there's a leak! {sorry couldn't resist that 🙂 } Abandon ship, abandon ship!!!!!
Choose: No, no, all we need to do is plug up the hole!
Laurie: Come here monkey!
a few minutes later....
Monkey (kicking and screaming) : Nooooooo you can't use me as a bung! It's not right! Animal cruelty! Animal cruelty!
Bordom: No worries, monkey, we'll make sure we stop at a banana island on the way home.
Monkey: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! crybaby
*Monkey is pushed, still kicking and sreaming into the hole in the boat*
bordom: Awww poor monkey! I'll get you a nice BIG banana when we got to this island.
choose: mmmhmm we sure will.... where the heck did belbell come from????
bordom and laurie: don't know...
all: *shrug*
Jack: RUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLLLLLZZZZ in DA shiiiiiippssssss!
bordom: simmer there Jack.... the rum will be here in just a few..... *spots island of rum* LAND HO!!!!!!!
Jack: You mean RUM ho!!!!! 😄
bordom, choose, Laurie, and Coldfire: *falls over laughing*
Monkey: BAAAAAANNNNAAAANNNNAAASSSSS!!!!!!!
Bordom: we're soooooooo almost there!
Choose: yeah the islands getting bigger and bigger!
Jack: drool
Laurie: what's that noise?
Phoenix: what noise?
Laurie: its... MONKEY!!! what do you think you're doing!!?!?!?!
Monkey (in a dreamy voice): it's banana island.....
*we turn to look and see a yellow banana island on the horizon.
Monkey: drool *squeeeeze*
Laurie: no, monkey! no, don't do it!
POP!
*Monkey pops out of the hole in the boat and zooms off into the distance*
Monkey: weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee banananananannananas heeeeeeeere i coooooooooooooooooome!!!
Choose: Oh no! We're going to sink!
*Bordom, Phoenix, Liz, Laurie and Jack are in tears*
*Boat is sinking*
Choose: now come on girls, pull yourselves together! we've got to think of a way out of this mess!
Jack: I'M NO GIRL!
Choose: sorry jack.
*Boat sinks lower and lower*
*.. and lower*
*.. and lower*
*.. only the mast is showing now*
*.. and it's gone!* *We're all floating in the water*
Bordom: I can't swim!
Jack: Pearl of the King's navy you are. *Jack lifts Bordom up in the air so she won't drown*
Laurie (jealous of Bordom): ah.. i .. i .. can't swim either!
*Jack lifts Laurie up too*
.. SEVERAL HOURS LATER..
Choose: agh fear it's a flying banana!
Phoenix: It's a WHAT?!
Choose: a flying banana!
*we turn to look and see a huuuuuuge banana skin sailing towards us through the air and sitting on the top still screaming "weeeeeee" is monkey!*
Monkey: weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i've cooome toooooo saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave youuuuuuuuuuu!!!!
Laurie: go monkey go monkey!
*the banana skin lands on the surface of the water beside the stranded and bedraggled pirates and piratesses*
Monkey (with mouth full): climb aboard!
*we all climb aboard the giant banana skin*
Laurie: is this a magic banana skin, monkey?
Monkey: well duh!
Bordom: so where are we going?
Monkey: the rum island of course! this banana is enough to keep me going for months!
Bordom: but this is just a skin..
Monkey: i'm not fussy you know!
*we all fly off towards rum island*
Laurie: this is a much better method of transport than the flying carpet! that one tasted terribly woolly.
Liz: it's not funny you two! Now what do we do?
*Laurie and Bordom are still laughing hysterically*
Cold: SOMEONE HELP *glug glug glug* MEEE!! *glug glug glug*
Gandalf: *glug glug glug*
Laurie: aghh he's sinking as well!
Bordom: well I still can't swim!
Laurie: Jack?
Jack: oh allright allright.
*Jack does spectacular dive off the edge of the banana skin*
Laurie and Bordom: drool
Cold: HELP ME! *glug glug glug*
Jack: *swim swim swim*
*Jack saves Cold and pushes off from the bottom of the seabed so hard with his feet that it launches him right out of the water high into the air and they land neatly back on the banana skin*
Laurie: Jack?
Jack: Mmhmm?
Laurie: You look good wet.. in_love
Jack: why thank you darlin, so do you in_love
Liz: but what about Gandalf?
Jack: oh no 😘 he doesn't look good wet.
*Laurie, Bordom, Choose, Phoe and Cold laugh*
Liz: no, i mean, he's still down there! in the water.
Jack: ahh, don't worry about him darlin, wizards are extremely boyant!
bordom and choose: but he's a DRUNK wizard!!!!! *starts to laugh*
Jack: WHAT!!!!! That's not good! Mine's wearin off with all this exercise. *makes yet another magnificient dive into the waters*
bordom and Laurie: OOOOOO..... AHHHHHHH!!!! *starts to drool*
choose: LADIES!!!! We gotta get off this godforsaken BANANA!!!!!
bordom: choose... that's hot when you say LADIES!!!! *bursts into laughter along with Laurie*
Coldfire: Totally
choose: Are you hittin on me cause you're drunk????
Laurie and bordom: uh.... *looks around* maaaaaaybe... can we have some more??!!!
choose: NO! *laughs*
Gandalf: JACK! GET YOUR HAND AWAY FROM THERE!!!!!
Coldfire, choose, bordom, Phoenix, and Laurie: OMG!!!!!!!!!!!
Monkey: MMMMMMM BAAANANANANANANANANANANANNS!!
*Liz falls over dead*
choose: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *starts to cry*
bordom: HAHA GANDALF!!!
Laurie: Damn Gandalf gets all the action!
Coldfire: *still laughing*
Coldfire: If only Liz was still here; she would have been able to say "I don't get it"
bordom: Oh well
Choose: Can we like hurry up and get off this giant banana???
Coldfire: That's a very good suggestion.... Jack, are you touching Gandalf again??!!
Jack: Who? Me? NEVER!! *looks quickly away*
Gandalf: Ghhhhetttt thhhhhhithhhh purrrrvurrrrrttt awwwwwaaaaayyyy ffffrrrooooom meeeeeeee!!!
*Jack and Gandalf are moved to opposite sides of the giant banana*
monkey: (takes bite of giant banana) YUK! that was horrid!! i HAVE to get to that island right away so i can drink LOTS of rum and foret about stupid bananas forever!!!
Choosewisely:WOW!
Laurie:empowering speach...
Gandalf: *gurgle, burp* im gonna stik my staff in the bottom of the banana...*does what he just said.*
gandalf rips through the bottom of tha banana peel and the boat starts sinking..
Monkey: what are we goin to use to plug up the hole???
Bordom: I know!!! we can use Laurie 😱
Laurie: no... no... no way!!
everyone advances on her...
Monkey: well it was your idea to use me so i guess youll do! you get used to it after a while....
Laurie: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo🙁
laurie is used to plug up the boat...
Coldfire: Poor Laurie!! Yes, you'll get lots of rum when we get there.
monkey: Know you know how it feels! *laughs*
Laurie: This is so cruel.... *pouts*
Jack: Can I sit next to Gandalf now???
Everyone: NO JACK!!!
Jack: Fine then.
Gandalf: I waaaaaahhhhnnna gheeeet offfff thiiiiihth bahhhnahhhhnnnaaaa!!!!!!! *tries to jump off*
Choose: No! Stay put until we say you can move *restrains Gandalf*
Coldfire: We must have the worst luck of any group of people I've ever seen in my life
{I can't believe you guys! You made ME plug up the hole! grrr!}
Laurie: yeh well some of us have the worst luck in the world furious
Coldfire: hey at least you weren't stuck underneath a boat for several minutes, thinking that this is it, this is the end..
Laurie: Hello?? you got rescued by Jack! I'd give anything to be drowning if that was going to happen to me!
Bordom: Same here.
Laurie: are we nearly there yet?
Coldfire: almost...
A FEW MINUTES LATER
Gandalf: come here ickle jacky boo boo boo
Jack: my god what a perve
Laurie: that's really sick Gandalf 😘
Phoenix: shall we push him overboard?
Laurie, Bordom and Cold: good idea!!!!
Choose: but he could come in handy... with all his magic and stuff..
Phoenix: did I never tell you? I'm magic too! i'm a pure-blood witch! 😱 i didn't tell you before, because I didn't want to brag, but .. desperate times call for desperate measures!
*phoenix, Bordom, cold and choose push gandalf off the banana skin*
Gandalf: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *SPLASH*
Jack: byebye pervy man! hi2
FEW MORE MINUTES LATER
Cold: we're here everyone! monkey, land the banana skin!
Laurie: YAY!!!!!
*we land on the island, where everything is made of rum: the trees, the grass.. every grain of sand...*
*Bordom, Cold, Choose and Phoenix run off*
Laurie: hey! you can't just leave me here! guys? come back!!!
Choose: we'll come back for you later, Laurie!!
Laurie: cry.. this is so unfair..
Jack: looks like its just you and me now!
Laurie: 😱 Jack! Can you help me out here? I'm kinda stuck.
*Jack helps laurie out of the hole*
Laurie: thank you in_love
Jack: any time luv, any time in_love
Monkey: oh per-lease! 😘
Laurie: 😂 come on Jack and monkey, let's go drink some rum!
*bordom, choose, Cold, and phoenix all hide behind a rum tree*
bordom: *whispers* look y'all Laurie and Jack.... they.. they... they're HUGGIN! *wide eyed*
Cold: NOOOOOOOO!
bordom: Okay who is leanin on me???
choose: Uh... sorry...
bordom: That's okay, it's just that I was about to fall into rum so ya
*Cold, Phoenix and monkey all laugh*
bordom: what's so funny?????