what ankin would never say
(when padme and anakin are still on naboo)
Anakin😛adme you look very sexy in your outfit.well lets try and get a little naughty.nobody will know
Padme:then we will be livinig a lie.
anakin:come its only one night.with you and me in your cosy bed
padme:then lets get started now
(jumps on anakin)
In Return of the Jedi
Luke cuts off Vader's hand and then says "This is for not paying child support you *sshole"
Alone in his hut, Yoda grabs rolls up a strange herb in a lead. He then uses his lightsaber to light the end and inhaled from the unlit end. After taking it all in he held it for a minute and let it out. He then said "Good sh*t Skywalker brought with him."
Yoda: Need, cold beverage, do i?
Luke pulls off R2D2's head and pulls a beer out from inside R2D2 and tosses it to Yoda.
(in A New Hope)
Vader presses his foot down on the empty clothes of Obi-Wan. He then starts to walk towards the Falcon. Then Obi-Wan reappears in his clothes and turns on his lightsaber and stabs Vader in the back. Obi-Wan then says "Do I look Like a dumb *ss to you?"
As Luke enters Jabba's chamber he suddenly yells "Hey fat *ss. Give me my friends back!"
Palpatine: Lord Vader, Give me a back rub.
Obiwan: you were my brother Hayden, i loved you
Anakin: I hate you
Obiwan: thats good
Anakin: you think so
Obiwan: yes really, you play snobby men perfectly
Anakin: oh and you play irish drunks much like one
Obiwan: i am an irish drunk
Anakin: o really whats your secret
Obiwan: i just drink untill jabba the hut looks hot
Anakin: fascinating, you know ive thought about doing that
(Kit, Agen, and Saesee are waiting for Mace to arrive so that they can go arrest Palpatine)
Kit: Ah, well, the black man's taking his sweet old time, isnt he?
Agen: I wonder what he's doing in there... 😖hifty:
Saesee: I hope you lot arent thinking anything nasty
Kit: Oh, like we would know! We're Jedi, following that stupid code....
Agen: Well Kit, you are the one who got closest to "doing" Aayla, out of the three of us. What was it like?
Kit (starts getting nervous): Huh? Ummm what do you mean? I mean, I never really got there
Saesee: Well you kissed her? Right good. What was it li-
Mace (returns): Hey, what are you talking about? Oh... the silent treatment is it? Well 4 can play at that game! (waits for a few seconds) That's it I'm bored. Now let's go get that old man!
(Weird Superhero Music plays and the four of them jump up and give each other High-Fives)
Obi Wan: Ep III
"You were my lover Anakin!..... I Loved you!"
Tarkin "A New Hope"
"Do you prefer a target? a military target? Then name the fcuking system? I grow tired of asking so this wil be the last time. Where is the fcuking rebel Base?"
Luke in Degobah surprised by Yoda for the first time in the "Empire Strikes Back"
"Like we're being fcuking watched."
Yoda: Away put you weapon. I mean you no harm."
(continuing council #13's)
Palpatine: well actually i am, and heres some handcuffs that u might want to us
Mace: oh okay wheres your lightsaber
Palps: oh umm here it is
Mace: okay
*he kill saesee tiin kit fisto and agen kolar*
we had to do away with them anyway lets go take over the galaxy
Palps: you're the sith lord
Mace: yes!
*Palps and mace fight*
found this somewhere... in Hyperspace blogs...
Anakin: Ayo. Wa'sup old dudes.
Obi-wan: -pauses- Uh, hang on. -turns to Yoda- Master Yoda, how is it that he appears so young in the afterlife, while we are so shriveled?
Yoda: A great mystery the Force is. To our saga's continuity you must look Obi-wan.
Obi-wan: Eh? Continuity?
Anakin: Dude, kermit means you shoulda died during the Prequels. Then you woulda stayed young and cool. Like me.
Obi-wan: What're you talking about? You didn't die in the Prequels.
Anakin: Yes, I did. You said so yourself.
Obi-wan: That can't be right. Besides, you didn't even know I said you died when you became Darth Vader, I was just making that up in order to save face with young Luke there. You see, he just nodded over here. At least he still respects me.
Anakin: Uh-huh. Sure.
Yoda: Search your feelings Obi-wan. Reveal the true death of your padawan they will. The truth you spoke to young Skywalker.
Obi-wan: Really?
Yoda: And address me as kermit, you will not.
Anakin: Won't happen again.
Obi-wan: So that whole "Point of View" speech I gave to Luke is actually true. Anakin really did die when he became Darth Vader.
Yoda: Wise your statement on Dagobah was, even if talking out your arse you were Obi-wan.
Obi-wan: Well, I sometimes make things up as I go, you know.
Anakin: You don't say.
Obi-wan: What's that supposed to mean?
Anakin: That means you lie.
Obi-wan: I do not!
Anakin: Do too.
Obi-wan: Do not.
Yoda: Enough. See where this is going I do.
Obi-wan: He started it.
Anakin: Did not.
Obi-wan: Did too.
Voice of Qui-gon: Stop it! Both of you!!
Obi-wan: RightO.
Anakin: I'll be cool.
Yoda: Mmm, this caped one over there. Make patty-cake with his hands and bobble side to side, for what reason does he?
Obi-wan: I believe his name is Lando . . something or other. A General in the Alliance.
Anakin: You know, I was going to kill him.
Obi-wan: Really.
Anakin: Oh yeah. Annoyed the hell outta me. But when my whole carbonite freeze thing with Luke fell thru, you know, well, I kinda forgot about him. Little weasel came back and blew up my Death Star!
Obi-wan: Your Death Star?
Anakin: Yeah. My Death Star. What of it?
Obi-wan: Wasn't yours.
Anakin: Was too.
Obi-wan: Was not.
Yoda: Again with this? Like this have you two always been?
Obi-wan: Yes, I would say so.
Anakin: Pretty much.
Yoda: -sighs- In this situation, am I stuck for eternity?
Voice of Qui-gon: Better you than me.