Things SW characters will NEVER say...

Started by DARTH BARAKA22 pages

yoda😖moke weed against the jedi code is not
yoda:huff:huff:come general grevase weed we smoke
greves:yes :huff:huff:
yoda: and bring stash u must! :huff:huff:

Ah...well. Thank you for the applause. 😉

I just go on...

Beginning of TPM:
CAPTAIN : With all due respect for the Trade Federation, the Ambassodors for the Supreme Chancellor wish to board immediately.
NUTE GUNRAY: Yes, yes, of coarse...ahhh...as you know, our blockade is perfectly legal, except that great amount of dope, crack, heroin, porn movies, hookers and stuff like that lying around here. Well...wait a second until we cleaned the place.

OBI-WAN : I have a bad feeling about this.
QUI-GON : I don't sense anything.
OBI-WAN : Of course you do not, you stupid old fool. I guess just because of your stupidity the Sith will return for the single reason to kick your senile a$$ over the place.

Destroyer droids movin in:
OBI-WAN : They have shield generators!
QUI-GON : Oh ? Yes ? I nearly didn't see that ****ing balls of blue energy surrounding them, you ****ing genious !

Qui-Gon meeting Jar Jar:
QUI-GON : Are you brainless? You almost got us killed!
JAR JAR : I spake.
QUI-GON: Yeah, right. Try that again after having me kicked the goddamn teeth out of your mouth.

Qui-Gon and Jar Jar meeting Obi-Wan:
QUI-GON : You hear that?
JAR JAR shakes his head yes.
QUI-GON : That's the sound of a thousand terrible things heading
this way...
OBI-WAN : And can you see that ?
OBI-WAN makes a fist holding it in front of Jar Jars eyes.
OBI-WAN : That's the look of the thing that will crush you, grind you into little pieces and blast you into oblivion !

Talking to Boss Nass:
OBI-WAN : You and the Naboo form a symbiont circle. What happens to noe of you will affect the other. You must understand this.
BOSS NASS : Wesa wish no nutten in yousa tings, outlaunder, and wesa no care-n about da Naboo except da Naboos girls we woulda like ta **** with.

Sidious introducing Darth Maul:
DARTH SIDIOUS : ...Viceroy, this is my apprentice. Lord Maul. Lord MAUL ! M - A - U - L ! Did you get that you bad excuses for intelligent life forms. Just to check it...what is his name ?
NUTE GUNRAY: Erm...erm...Mmm...Mmmm....Mmmmaaaa...Mmmaaa....Mmmaaaauuu...Maaaaauuul ?
DARTH SIDIOUS: Great. A smart one... He will find your lost ship.
NUTE GUNRAY: What ship ?
DARTH SIDIOUS: This day is getting looooooooong...

Entering Wattos shop on Tatooine:
WATTO : (subtitled) Hi chuba da naga? (What do you want?)
QUI-GON : I don't speak your ****ing language but since I don't care about what you say you can just give me some parts for a J-type 327 Nubian, idiot !

ANAKIN : Are you an angel ?
PADME : Are you on drugs ?

ANAKIN : I am a person! My name is Anakin.
PADME : Yeah...just keep telling that to yourself until you believe it, you wise guy.

ANAKIN showing C3-PO to PADME:
ANAKIN : Isn't he great?! He's not finished yet.
PADME : He's wonderful!
ANAKIN : Watch ! He is just lying on a bed ! A B-E-D ! Do you know what I think ?
PADME: That's discusting.
ANAKIN: Come on, hot mama !
PADME: Ohhhh....this terrible headache...too bad...sorry Annie.

Maul reporting to Sidious:
DARTH MAUL : Tatooine is sparsely populated. If the trace was correct, I will find them quickly, Master.
DARTH SIDIOUS: Now stop joking, idiot. You can't even find snow on the planet Hoth.

Qui-Gon talking to Anakin:
ANAKIN: You have a lightsaber !
QUI-GON : Perhaps I killed a Jedi and stole it from him.
ANAKIN : I don't think so... No one can kill a Jedi Knight.
QUI-GON : Do you want to bet on that thing ? I'm getting killed in less than 60 minutes !

Looking at the stars:
ANAKIN : There are so many! Do they all have a system of planets?
QUI-GON : Most of them.
ANAKIN : I want to destroy them all. Trillions of dead people. Genocide. Gnihihihihi.
QUI-GON: STFU, punk !

QUI-GON : Make an analysis of this blood sample I'm sending you.
OBI-WAN : Wait a minute...You can't send a ****ing blood sample through a comlink !
QUI-GON : Of course I can...I'm the master here.
OBI-WAN : All right. I've got it.

Qui gon: republic credits will do fine *waves hand*
Watto: no they wont! im a toyderian mind tricks dont work on me...only lightsabers..
Qui Gon: well in that case *ignites lightsaber*
Watto: oh....shit!

hahahaha

Well, here goes nothing:

Jabba: If you say sorry I'll kill fast. If you don't that sh*thole down there will eat you for 35436156161658168461656468468468 years

Han: Okey

====

Yoda: for 900 years jedis I've trained
Luke: haha! ... get outta here you senile f@rt

====

Leia: Han...
Han: Yes? (brow raised)
Leia: I also shagged the little bear while lost in the woods
Han: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

====

Rancor Beast: Are you mad you f*ckin worm sh1t? He's a jedi. I'll be dead in less than a minute with that spiked gate falling in me head. Ya want him dead? Come kill yer self ya worthless piece of sh1t

====

Anakin: I'm twice more powerful than the last time we met, count
Dooku: so?
anakin: means this time I'll kill you
Dooku: so?
anakin: FOR F*CK SAKE. I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS. HE'S SENILE GL
Dooku: so?

😛

Owen; Luke get your a$$ uot here right now, quit monkeying around with that damn landspeeder, whera are thore two droide I asked you to clean boy?!...did you clean your room?!

Ep1 C-3PO: why am I the only one to do a nude scene in this movie

Anakin:I should think before I act

bi 1: I wish I could be like anakin

Originally posted by Black Waltz #3
Ep1 C-3PO: why am I the only one to do a nude scene in this movie

Padme: Why is C-3PO the only one to do a nude scene in this movie?

lol
Owen: I wanna do a nude scene in this movie

Originally posted by Gen. Grevious
lol
Shmi: I wanna do a nude scene in this movie

Empire Strikes Back
Vader: Luke, Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!!
Vader: No. I am your father.
Luke: WHAT!? (Holds up his arm with the missing hand) You don't know this right now but I'm flicking you off!!

(Anakin to Padme after telling him she's pregnant)

Anakin: I have AIDS.

Padme: Oh boy.

Yoda: Good relations with the Wookies, I have. In more ways then one.

Originally posted by Tulak Hord
Chewie: Rar Raaawar rar rer wraaaaaaaaa argh ag raaaaa rah ah ah raaaaaaaaargh.

I still cannot see Chewie ever saying that. That goes against who he is. He has more self-respect then that.

Originally posted by Gen. Grevious
lol
Owen: I wanna do a nude scene in this movie

Jedi Council: WE ALL WANNA DO A NUDE SCENE IN THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!! (background cheering) 💃 💃 💃 WOOHOO

Yoda: The shroud of the Dark Side has fallen. Begun, the Clone Wars, have.

(Long Silence)

Mace Windu: Better get that colonoscopy while I still can.

TPM Mace: He will not be trained...

Anakin: (Force persuade) if u train me i will pay u to shag my mom..

Mace: puts hand on chins and rubs...

Anakin: think about it nigga u get laid and paid

Mace I'll Do it!!! 😄😄😄
😄

Palpatine and Gunray; why can't we do nude scenes?!

UGH, NOO, NIGHTMARES! YOU SICK! JEEZ MAN! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!