What NOT to say on first dates

*Is it me or is my pants wet?"

I got my crabs from dirty dicks

"I so did to"

Hey, You are as cute as my dog, you look Just like her

"your eyes are as brown as poop"

*farts*

oops that went a little further than I expected... 😮

"Oh...I thought you'd be cuter in real life..."

"Can I smell your hair?"

you hair is as red as my sister knee, she has a scar on her knee and it is still bleeding

- no i don't really -

"she will have the salad"

Originally posted by shyguy
"she will have the salad"

hysterical

is that you that smells?

-you- "Why I could have sworn you said you were a girl."
-date- "I am"
-you- " That mustash tells me otherwise."

Date was female and you are male.

"I took a long time preparing for this date ; i cleaned my trousers out of every crusty stain"

"hey beba like my braces?"

Will you come with me to the bathroom, i need you to wipe by butt. my mom is not here.

"I'm only going on this date to seem sensitive so you'll get into bed with me"

"so whos better in bed you or you sister"
assuming your a guy

"me and my friend are wondering if you want to do a threesome?"

"Welcome to the scene of my last homicide."