Chuck "The Badass" Norris [Merged]

cuck norris is mad, one o' the best mawashageris in tha biz

The famous video footage of Sasquatch is actually Chuck Norris returning to his woodland home after a night of binge drinking and unprotected sex

correction jodan mawashigeri

why thank you 😉 , yeah but iv'e seen him fight, he's damn fast.

Charles Bronson would strangle Chuck Norris to death.

Funny how no one knows that Vin Diesel was the first and then Mr. T. One person finds the Chuck Norris ones and then the world does *roll*

A teenage girl recently asked Chuck Norris what he was going to do with all that junk inside his trunk. He then proceeded to roundhouse kick her in the ovaries, and caused the abortion of all fetuses worldwide.

http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1642842/

After seeing 'March of the Penguins', Chuck Norris's daughter asked for a penguin for Christmas. When the SPCA told Chuck it is illegal to have penguins as pets, Chuck ran to Antarctica and roundhouse kicked every penguin in the face and ate their eggs.

Okay, I made that one up. 😬

"[i]Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs[/i"] 😂

Originally posted by Mišt
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

😆 😆 😆 😂 😂 😆 😂

Ounce Again

http://gorillamask.net/conanwalker.shtml

havent really looked at previous posts... so forgive me if i've repeated this. but chuck norris and bruce lee did have a real fight. and who won? it does pay to be ginger and have a chest rug. norris won.

Originally posted by darth_royke
havent really looked at previous posts... so forgive me if i've repeated this. but chuck norris and bruce lee did have a real fight. and who won? it does pay to be ginger and have a chest rug. norris won.

yes he did but, it was sparring.

There was never a missing link, Chuck Norris f****d homo erectus, and out came modern man.

Originally posted by Mišt
Chuck Norris once killed a 10,000 pound bear, tore it into 10,000 pieces, and then fed it to a school of salmon just because he enjoyed the irony.

😂

Mr. T is the original black Power Ranger

The T virus in Resident Evil is based on what happens to a person when they are exposed overwhelming amounts of pity inflicted by Mr. T. There is currently no cure

Chuck Norris was once struck by a cold when young, he coughed it up and spitted the mucus in to orbit. This is now known as the moon.
Chuck realised that his creation was to far out of reach for humankind to enjoy, so he shook some cash out of his left cowboy-boot and established NASA

Mr. T was shot at nine times. The bullets however reflected off his golden medallion. Thus killing the sniper