A joke a day, keeps the wacko away

What a woman says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon, you and I need to clean up, your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!"

What a man hears:
"blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW"

😂

Corran has some pretty good ones. 😂

Do you write this stuff?

No, he steals it.

I don't steal them, if someone tells them to me, then I believe I am allowed to tell them to others. Anyhow heres another for today.

The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called the electric company's complaint department to ask for help.
"The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our community.
You must make them stop cursing so much!", said the nun.
"Very well, Sister. But you must make allowances for their habits. Even when they are trying to be tactful, they will still tend to call a spade a spade.", said the company spokeswoman.

Mother Superior replied, "That's fine. However, I think the term they actually use is 'God damned, mother fuckin' shov

shov?

mix between a shovel and a show???

Sounds like he forgot to paste part of the joke.

el.'

There you go, thats the missed part. Wasn't that difficult to work out was it.

So what was the joke again?

The routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called the electric company's complaint department to ask for help.
"The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our community.
You must make them stop cursing so much!", said the nun.
"Very well, Sister. But you must make allowances for their habits. Even when they are trying to be tactful, they will still tend to call a spade a spade.", said the company spokeswoman.

Mother Superior replied, "That's fine. However, I think the term they actually use is 'God damned, mother fuckin' shovel".

Happy now?

I am, as always

Happy is quite close to what you are all the time I suppose.

What am I than? lots of things? multipersonality ?

tool

a happy tool-day to you too 🙂

im a whacko

Originally posted by yerssot
a happy tool-day to you too 🙂

I thought he would go away.

This joke a day thing does not seem to be keeping the wacko away, in fact we seem to accumulating more. So lets try a joke about a Psychiatrist to scare them off.

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.
Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under ... you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"