What POTC characters would NEVER say...

Hmm, wonder when Gov. Swann will stop pimping out his daughter.

Gov. Swann: We're getting you a passage to England

Liz: But Will has to find Jack!

Gov. Swann: And then he'll do what everyone else does when they meet Jack....fall madly in love with him and he'll forget about you. You're a sexy mama, daughter, but not as much a catch as Jack Sparrow.

Liz: Captain Jack Sparrow.

Swann: You see what I mean? He's too much a temptation.

Liz: I thought we agreed Will was who we'd pimp me to.

Swann: The boy's fate is regrettable, but there are lots of boys in England.

lmao!!!!

Sigh, and now I'm out of Gov. Swann scenes. Oh! One more.

Gov. Swann: Elizabeth?

(Liz is in the cabin getting ready to escape)

Gov. Swann: I just wanted you to know I support your decision to go with Norrington. He's much more virile, more fertile seeming, than Will Turner.

(Liz climbs down the side of the ship)

Gov. Swann: He has large hands, after all, and we all know what they say about men with large hands. You should compliment him on them next time you see him. He'll know what you really mean.

(Liz continues to climb, her father's words as just murmurs)

Gov. Swann: ...Christmas. What does that mean for most people? For me it was a living hell.

(YES! I DID JUST QUOTE AIRPLANE!)

(Liz climbs)

Gov. Swann: ....And this guy tells me if I just share 10 other shares, I'll get a certain percentage. Nearly cost me my soul. Elizabeth? Are you even in there?

lmao!!!!

HAHAHA LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAAAAAAAAAAO WILLOFTHEWISP YOUR GOV SWAN SCENES ARE HILARIOUS everyone is soooooooo funny, i love this thread lol! 😱 😆 😄

i ttly luv ur Gov. scences! they're hilarious!

Unfortunately, I think I'm out unless I make something up.

(Jack has just rescued Liz.)

Gov. Swann: Elizabeth? Are you all right?

Liz: Yes, I'm fine.

Gov. Swann: Arrest him.

(Everyone gets Jack)

Norrington: Well, pirate, I believe you're Jack Sparrow.

Gov. Swann: Pirate, did you say? Hmmm. Unchain him.

Jack: How's that?

Gov. Swann: Unchain him, says I!!!

Jack: Thanks.

Gov. Swann: Now if you'll just come over here... (takes Jack's chains that are still on him and puts them over Liz's neck, just like how it was done in the movie.) You should put his hat back on him now, dear.

Liz: Why?

Gov. Swann: Because he's hot. Just do it.

(Liz puts Jack's hat on him)

Gov. Swann: Now whisper something menacing.

Liz: Uh......you're dispicable?

Gov. Swann: Now you, seduce her.

Jack: Here? Now?

Gov. Swann: Yes! Just pretend we're not here.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMG! LMFAOOOOO! ROTFL! I shall never be the same. *holds stomache from laughing* don't stop!!! these are SO AWESOME!!!

OMG!!! I just can't stop laughing.

ok so here's one with Boostrapbill and he has his own show:

Bootstrap *in a super duper gay girly voice*: so we rub on the seaweed cream and then we wash it off with kraken slime after 30 minutes and that outa do it...

another:
Lizzie: WHO PAINTED MY ROSES RED????

Lizzie: DAMN u Jack Sparrow! It's all ur fault my highlights are ruined! u will so pay for new ones at the Port Royal hills salon with those gold teeth of your's.

Jack: u put your left foot in...
Lizzie: u put your left foot out...
Jack:u kiss the gal beside u...
Lizzie: and u hope her fiance doesn't find out!

Gibbs: What's got u vexed captain?
Jack: I can't...I can' think! It's in my head..I can't stop thinking about him!
Gibbs:As I suspected...well we'll just go to PortRo- WAIT! did u say he?
Jack:Hector god damnit! I haven't been able to stop thinking abot him ever since I shot that bullet through his sexy chest...
Gibbs:....

Jack: who needs the pearl? I need a ferari! or better yet..the 007!

^^ hahaha omg funnnn-ay!

now im gonna start thinking about this when i watch potc lmao

Gov. Swann's scaring me... fear 😂

in the
Jack: Does the governor approve of this?
Liz, staring in Jack's eyes: Sure he does... *they start to kiss*
Gov. Swann, peeping in the cabin: I sure do...
*turns to will and Norrington* You gotta admit, he's hot.
Will, my boy... *walks and puts arm around him* You're a eunuch. and i don't want a eunuch for my daughter.
*walks over to Norrington* I'm sorry, but... she doesn't like you, and i go with who my daughter likes.... *returns to snooping*

waah! i suck at this! i have no new ideas that are good. 🙁(

ahh dw yours are really funny, GO THE JACK AND LIZ MOMENTS

Jack, Liz and Barbossa are watching a movie for some reason...?

Barbossa: So Kelly loves Kevin, aye?

Liz: No, no, no, Kelly only likes Kevin because Peter left her and now she wants REVENGE

Jack: No, you two have got it all wrong, Kelly left Peter and is only flirting with Kevin to get back at Evan, Savvy?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack: I'm gonna mix my rum and my dirt together to make CEMENT

(i know thats not how you make cement)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Will: I hate Elizabeth, I dont like her hair

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack to Barbossa: LETS BE FRIENDS!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack: I'm confuzzling

(which i dont think he is at all!) LMAO =)

kewl! 😂

Jack: I don't thnk anyone truly understands what i'm saying.

hmm

(as usual, no one on the Pearl is doing any work)

Liz: Yes, they're signed. Lord Cutler Beckett.

Gibbs: Hmm, Will was helping Beckett all the time.

Jack: Bleh! He must want the chest.

Liz: Why?

Jack: It's a portable dvd player that lets you see the AWE trailer.

Gibbs: You don't say?! We need to get us there faster. Faster, men!!!!

(leaves)

Liz: Are you sure?

Jack: Trust me. I think we'll want to see it before he does.

LMAO!!!! SO very true! That would make a very nice commercial they could've made BEFORE they trailer came out u know!!! to make everyone anxiouse.

lmao!!!!! i lOVED IT!!

Oh man, I wish I could write tv spots. I'd have so much fun with it.

My HH Greg ad (tv, refrigerator, appliance store to those that don't have it)

Will: What code was Gibbs referring to?

Jack: Pirates Code. Anyone who falls behind, stays behind.

Will: No honor among thieves then.

Jack: Instead of talking smack, you would see how well you're on your way to becoming a pirate.

Will: Say what?

Jack: Sprung a man from jail, commandeered a ship, obsessed with treasure...

Will: I am not!

Jack: Oh really? (points into the Isla de Muerta cave)

(Inside Barbossa, Liz, and the crew are watching DMC on a very large tv)

Will: Wow. Is that from H.H. Greg?

Jack: I told you you were becoming a pirate. Hector saved us two seats.

--------------------------------------

Promoting AWE

(Jack takes a seat next to Liz)

Jack: My incredible intuition of the female creature tells me you are troubled.

Liz: It's these fans.

Jack: Fans? Since when do POTC characters that are not me have fans?

Liz: They keep asking me who am I going to choose, blah, blah, blah, and the movie won't be out for another two months!

Jack: Two months? Is that all? Don't sweat it, love. They have plenty to talk about until then.

Liz: Why is that?

Jack: Well, shot with a rather bold sunset, your little voice starts to sing the song from the ride whilst brilliant shot after brilliant shot not only reassures the audience I'm alive, no thanks to you, but that you're all coming to get me. Now, Beckett is in it way more than Jones, but I have this spectacular sword fight with Jones and they're going to eat that right up.

Liz: (because she always gets the best of him) But does it say who I choose?

Jack: Well, no.

Liz: Then they're going to keep hounding me.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLDS END, MAY 24!

OMG willo that is BRILLIANT! we should contact disney! Or atleast ppl who do paradoys on YouTube (how do they do it I never understood is it a voice over?) everyone should read this.

Yeah, I have no technical knowledge whatsoever, so I guess someone could capture minutes from the film and just dub them. Anyone do a good Jack impression? I can't talk like him to save my life, but when I did an Office of Special Investigations internship for the Air Force, it was right around the time DMC was coming out. I promised my brother I'd wait and see it with him, so all the special agents went and saw it opening night. Bobby, one of them, said I'd love it and he started telling me how much his 5-year-old son loves it and always does Jack quotes and he mimicked that and omg, he sounded just like Jack (Bobby, not the son). Oops, started rambling....

Uh, ad for Tropicana/Minute Maid/some kind of orange juice.

(Close up of Jack's sleeping face. Wakes up. Sees Liz burning all the rum)

Jack: No! No! No good. Stop! You burned everything! The food, the shade, the rum!

Liz: Yes, the rum is gone.

Jack: Why is the rum gone?

Liz: It will give you liver disease.

Jack: But why is it gone? (considers shooting her) Grrr....

(marches off, muttering to himself as he squeezes fresh oranges to make some juice for himself. He's a little refreshed as he drinks it. Walks back to where a ship has come to pick them up. Sees Liz drinking a glass of already-made orange juice)

Jack: Where did you get that?

Liz: Norrington. He had a whole carton he said he saved just for me. Where have you been all this time?

Jack: There'll be no living with you after this.

LMAO!!! OMG u gotta continue doing these and I'm not sure if I'll find anyone to do this but since I'm laughing my heart out I'll ask around and check.

U should really do more!!! these are so funny!

oh my goodness willo, you are so funny! i love these!