Aw, thanks. People are always funnier when they have audiences. I truly feel the love. Let's see...what else can our heroes advertise?
(We see Will in his blacksmith shop working. He looks up)
Will: Hi, I'm Will Turner, blacksmith. We've had a lot of fun over the years having misadventures with pirates, but today I want to talk to you about something serious-- the deadly consequences of illegal drugs.
(Cut to Tia's shack)
Will: Hi, I'm Will Turner, blacksmith. We're standing outside young Tia's house. She was your typical, all-Caribbean girl. Maybe reminds you of yourself. She was engaged and everything, and then she found illegal drugs.
(Tia, very cleancut looking.)
Tia: What are these strange pills on the floor? (pops one in her mouth. All of a sudden, she's a foaming monster)
Will: Illegal drugs took their toll on her quickly. First, her teeth took on a grotesque, squid-kissed look. Strange bruises dwell on her neck and shoulders. Her home is a mess.
(Tia trips over all her stuff)
Will: (sighs) It's a sad sight. Strange hallucinations are often accompanied with illegal drugs. Ordinary people can appear to have a touch of destiny about them, or know what they want but loathe to claim it for their own.
(Gibbs, Pintel, and Ragetti back away from her)
Will: The bottom line is that they just alienate people from you.
(Tia offers Liz drink)
Tia: Against the cold and the sorrow. (Liz refuses)
Will: No one wants anything from a druggie. (turns to the camera) Take it from a girl who had it all, illegal drugs will mess you up and kill you horribly.
Tia: I'm not dead!
(Will hits her over the head with a rum bottle)
Will: Yep, pretty fatal. Take it from me, Will Turner, blacksmith. Real pirates say no to illegal drugs.
This public service announcement brought to you by Kraken Condoms. You don't want goo shot out all over you? Remember your rubbers.
I was bored and i am frustrated with fanfic right now so i decided to try and make one
Jacks purgatory
Jack Sparrow was minding his own business he is too restless and heartbroken to do anything but lay there in the sand
Voice: Jack Sparrow I've heard about you.
Jack froze and gets up to meet a man in a suit. Jack: who are you?
Voice: You are the newest hero to my collection. Sorry i didn't introduce myself earlier I am Walt Disney
Jack: you are the creator of Disney?
Walt: Yes i am
Another voice: Walt stop bragging and get over here and play some cards
Walt: i am coming patience is a virtue Jack want to play cards too?
Jack didn't answer
Walt and Jack walked towards a table where a couple of people he has never met.
A voice: I am Ray Charles son i died form liver disease son and don't do drugs
Another voice: I am Darth Vader my master has killed me while i tried and protect my son who was against me for so many years
Jack: sorry mate
Another voice: Hi everybody i am peter Griffin I won't be dead long i was playing with Grimm's scythe and it fell on me
the table was quiet
Jack: What are you
Peter: i am a cartoon
the last voice: I am Elvis son i said a hunka hunka burnin love! I died from overweight in the upstairs dressing room bathroom
They all looked at Jack to see how he died
Jack: i was kissed and chained to the mast and left to die
Peter: that reminds me of the time when that one TV show lovers quarrel
*peters flashback to the TV show*
Woman kisses a man the stops as she pushes him to the fire on the oven
Woman: I can never love you like you me don't you see we will never belong together
*end peters flashback*
The whole table was looking at Peter
Ray: did you love that woman
Elvis: He looks the type to love any woman in a skirt hunk hunk burning love yeah!!
Walt: Let him speak
Jack: I liked her yes
Darth Vader: Never trust woman
Peter: I know what you have to do you have to resist her give her the cold shoulder woman hate that and she will be all over you in seconds
Walt: And you think that will work peter?
Peter: yes i do it to Louise all the time
Ray: Louise?
Peter: My hot wife
Jack: Give her the cold shoulder okay i will try that
Elvis: gold Fish!!
Darth Vader: You cheated
Jack: I got to get back to the pearl
Walt: Good bye Jack Sparrow may we meet again
Ray: Don't do drugs
Peter: Remember the cold shoulder
Elvis: A fool such as I
Darth Vader: Jack i am not your father
Jack: Bye
Jack walks back to the pearl and suddenly gets bored and wishes he stayed at the table then Little rock started hatching and crabs came out. Later that Day while the crabs were moving the pearl he sees images running towards him he hops off. Jack was met by the woman he likes alot
Liz: jack i am so sorry
Jack did not give her a hug back
she moved away mad and confused
Jack to himself* Damn you Peter she hates me now*
Sorry for so long.
Originally posted by jackismyboo
I was bored and i am frustrated with fanfic right now so i decided to try and make oneJacks purgatory
Jack Sparrow was minding his own business he is too restless and heartbroken to do anything but lay there in the sand
Voice: Jack Sparrow I've heard about you.
Jack froze and gets up to meet a man in a suit. Jack: who are you?
Voice: You are the newest hero to my collection. Sorry i didn't introduce myself earlier I am Walt Disney
Jack: you are the creator of Disney?
Walt: Yes i am
Another voice: Walt stop bragging and get over here and play some cards
Walt: i am coming patience is a virtue Jack want to play cards too?
Jack didn't answer
Walt and Jack walked towards a table where a couple of people he has never met.
A voice: I am Ray Charles son i died form liver disease son and don't do drugs
Another voice: I am Darth Vader my master has killed me while i tried and protect my son who was against me for so many years
Jack: sorry mate
Another voice: Hi everybody i am peter Griffin I won't be dead long i was playing with Grimm's scythe and it fell on me
the table was quiet
Jack: What are you
Peter: i am a cartoon
the last voice: I am Elvis son i said a hunka hunka burnin love! I died from overweight in the upstairs dressing room bathroom
They all looked at Jack to see how he died
Jack: i was kissed and chained to the mast and left to die
Peter: that reminds me of the time when that one TV show lovers quarrel
*peters flashback to the TV show*
Woman kisses a man the stops as she pushes him to the fire on the oven
Woman: I can never love you like you me don't you see we will never belong together
*end peters flashback*
The whole table was looking at Peter
Ray: did you love that woman
Elvis: He looks the type to love any woman in a skirt hunk hunk burning love yeah!!
Walt: Let him speak
Jack: I liked her yes
Darth Vader: Never trust woman
Peter: I know what you have to do you have to resist her give her the cold shoulder woman hate that and she will be all over you in seconds
Walt: And you think that will work peter?
Peter: yes i do it to Louise all the time
Ray: Louise?
Peter: My hot wife
Jack: Give her the cold shoulder okay i will try that
Elvis: gold Fish!!
Darth Vader: You cheated strangles elvis
Jack: I got to get back to the pearl
Walt: Good bye Jack Sparrow may we meet again
Ray: Don't do drugs
Peter: Remember the cold shoulder
Elvis: A fool such as I still can't breathe
Darth Vader: Jack i am not your father releases elvis and waves back at jack
Jack: Bye
Jack walks back to the pearl and suddenly gets bored and wishes he stayed at the table then Little rock started hatching and crabs came out. Later that Day while the crabs were moving the pearl he sees images running towards him he hops off. Jack was met by the woman he likes alot
Liz: jack i am so sorry
Jack did not give her a hug back
she moved away mad and confused
Jack to himself* Damn you Peter she hates me now*Sorry for so long.
oh lol!!!! 😂 lemme tweak it a bit... 😂 that was hilarious though! woohoo!
*AHEM* ATTENTION PLEASE-AH I give you a series of random events:
Jack: HUMBUG!
Liz: MUSHROOM!!
Will: HAM!!!
Barbie: MONKEY!!!!
Davey Jones: I FEEL A BIT CLAMMY
Clam: I wish I had a tentacle
*daydream - clam runs around a field of wheat with a tentacle poking out of its shell*
Tia Dalma: I-ah should-ah cut-ah mah hair-ah
Fortune Cookie: Hello, I dunno why I'm here
Jack: JELLY PUMPKIN SOUP WITH MARSHMELLOWS AND COOKIES AND JAM DROPS FLOATING AROUND IN IT!!!
Not Funny - but random 🙁
I'm all out of ideas now...
The fortunate ones
To be fast and free and young
I want to count myself among
The fortunate ones
We won't be denied
We know that time is on our side
We've got the passion and the pride
We won't be denied
* This generations
With fire in our eyes
Strong are the ties that bind us
We don't need no alibis
** Nothing's gonna stand in our way
Nothing's gonna stand in our way
Nothing's gonna stand in our way
Not tonight
We want it all
And tonight we got the call
We're running high but we won't fall
We want it all
We won't be denied
Like a breaker at high tide
We're gonna take this sweet joy ride
We won't be denied
Grew expectations
Moments in the sun
We've waited all our lives
And now we know our time has come
** Repeat
Nothing's gonna stand in our way
* Repeat
** Repeat
lol those are pretty random^^ and thanks guys
the rest is kinda PG_13 so if you want to read go ahead!!
Jack: My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled
Liz: i am troubled i so want sex but Will thinks i slept with somebody and he wants a doctor to check me he can't even trust his own wife
Jack: pity! *he looks down then a thought came to his head and he looks back up* I think i know what you can do
Liz: what?
Jack: I am a captain of a ship and being Captain i could see if you ever slept with somebody-
Liz: Jack it's no times for games!
Jack: fine have you ever heard of a mizuage? Doesn't matter now go to Tortuga or any other Pirate port and sell your mizuage if it goes higher then five shillings you are still a virgin and if it doesn't you slept with somebody
Liz: Are you sure?
Jack: it will give you answers
Liz: every word is the truth?
Jack: Every word love
Liz: Okay when is our next port?
Jack: Lucky you tortuga
*hours pass by and Elizabeth wants results she knows she hasn't slept with anybody but she wants Will to know, She is watching Will lean on the railing. Finally she can see Tortuga eye shot! She tells Will she will prove she hasn't slept with anybody just him watch!*
They dock in Tortuga and Elizabeth was the first off the ship
Jack to Gibbs: Remember the money i hid when we came back from France after the big gold rush?
Gibbs: Aye Captain!
Jack: Can you bring it out for me please i feel really lucky today!!
if you were wondering what a mizuage is it is when a girl virginity is auctioned to the highest bidder.