Lol, IHP 😛
Hm, nah I take that back from earlier. "We're all in this together" doesn't seem to ring well. How about some songs from "My Fair Lady?" like Jack singing "I've become accustomed to her face" and Will singing "On the Street where you live" or something?
Here are the lyrics to "I've Become Accustomed To Her Face": http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/myfairlady/ivegrownaccustomedtoherface.htm
Gibbs: Not much is known about Jack Sparrow, not since he was captain of the Black Pearl.
Will: He failed to mention that.
Gibbs: Well, he was marooned. And when a pirate's marooned, he's given a pistol with one shot. Know what you do then?
Will: No. Tell me.
Gibbs: Brother bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime
His sister had another, she paid it for a lime.
She put the lime in the coconut, and drank them both up
She put the lime in the coconut, and drank them both up
She put the lime in the coconut
(Jack overhears)
Jack: Hey! I don't keep you around to make this the bloody Pirates of Penzance! Stop singing!
Gibbs: (whisper-singing) Put the lime in the coconut.
Originally posted by willofthewisp
Gibbs: Not much is known about Jack Sparrow, not since he was captain of the Black Pearl.Will: He failed to mention that.
Gibbs: Well, he was marooned. And when a pirate's marooned, he's given a pistol with one shot. Know what you do then?
Will: No. Tell me.
Gibbs: Brother bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime
His sister had another, she paid it for a lime.
She put the lime in the coconut, and drank them both up
She put the lime in the coconut, and drank them both up
She put the lime in the coconut(Jack overhears)
Jack: Hey! I don't keep you around to make this the bloody Pirates of Penzance! Stop singing!
Gibbs: (whisper-singing) Put the lime in the coconut.
LOL!
(Will is on the Flying Dutchman. He gets to go home the next day)
Bootstrap: Well, we've managed to save 8,670 souls these last ten years. That's a good number to give to the next guy, don't you think?
Will: (doesn't answer)
Bootstrap: Will? Son?
Will: Oh, I was just looking at this stain on my shirt.
Bootstrap: Stain? (sees a wine stain) Ew! Nothing gets that out.
Will: I wanted to look nice when it came time to meet my kid. Now he's going to think Daddy's a slob.
Bootstrap: Hang on. (finally Bootstrap is about to do something useful) Try this. (splashes some sea water on Will's shirt)
Will: What are you doing?
Bootstrap: It's my own invention. I call it stain-be-gone. Gets out chocolate, blood, and even wine stains. I marketed it to the boys when they started losing their fingers becoming one with the ship. It made them spill a lot. They just splashed this stuff on and everything looked clean.
(Will's shirt is spotless and bright)
Will: Holy cow! Can you make my banadana look less mildewy?
Bootstrap: Got $19.95?
Will: No, but I'll make you captain when I leave.
Bootstrap: Deal.
Remember my after-school specials? They're back.
(Will is at the helm of the FD. He then looks at the camera)
Will: Hi, I'm Wil Turner: ship captain. You might remember me back when I was a blacksmith. While we had a lot of fun doing those lessons in the past. I have a very important topic to discuss with you: beach sex. How to have it, when to have it, and what not to do.
(CUT to his and Liz's after-sex scene in AWE. Will walks the beach)
Will: Cute scene, isn't it? My first point is how to have it. Notice I didn't bring a condem. This is blatantly for conceiving a child. Combine this with the woman's flexibility (sends a wink to Elizabeth) and you've got great chances for baby-making. However, if you're like some people...
(camera quickly shows clip of Barbossa in his skeleton form)
Will: ...you may want to bring that condem just so there's not a little one of those running around.
(shows some of clip of Will nuzzling Liz's leg)
Will: Hi, I'm Will Turner, ship captain. So when should you have sex on the beach? Any time, really, but there are some times that will make it better than others. Consider going to the beach when one part of the couple has to leave soon. This increases the passion and decreases the cuddling time afterwards.
Jack: Hi, Will. I see you're having an after school special.
Will: Why, yes I am. Fancy meeting you here. (moment of silence)
Jack: (looks down at line on script) When should you not have beach sex? (rolls eyes) I think I know this one.
Will: I'm glad you asked, my friend. I'm glad you asked. When is NOT a good time for beach sex?
(CUT TO...James and Elizabeth's scene in AWE)
Will: Hi, I'm Will Turner, ship captain. These two have some definite chemistry here. But they're on a ship heavy with enemies. This is not a a time to have beach sex.
Jack: (says line with even less enthusiasm) Wow. That sure taught me a thing or two. (looks up) Who wrote this drivel?
Will: Now we'll discuss what not to do when having beach sex.
(CUT TO...Will and Liz back in their AWE scene)
Will: Elizabeth is quite the striking woman, but black isn't her color and I prefer redheads. But I don't say anything about faults in a woman's looks. That cuts out the beach sex and makes way for beach crying.
Gibbs: What an inspiring talk!
Will: (faking surprise) Why, Mr. Gibbs! Our expert on awkward sex.
Gibbs: Er, yes. You've been very helpful, Will.
(CUT TO...Will, back on the Flying Dutchman)
Will: Hi, I'm Will Turner, ship captain. If you're like me, you know what great beach sex is and have gotten a nice kid out of it. However, if you're one of the millions who suffer from mundane bed sex, I hope this special helped you. Good night.
Will's after-school special was brought to you by Davy's Calamari Restaurant: Davy eats it himself....because he's a cannibal!