oooh its good to be back!!!! 😄 😄
thanks for the heads-up kate!! 😄
Ok lets try this one;
Will : We're going to steal the ship. That ship? [glances at the Dauntless]
Translation: Oh dear god i think ive just messed my pants....
Jack : Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term. One question about your business, boy, or there's no use going. This girl ? how far are you willing to go to save her?
Translation: Eunichs...they fall at the first hurdle....and what the hell is that smell?
Will : I'd die for her.
Translation: Or just play 'dead' like a dog and wait for them to ignore my seemingly wrotting flesh...
Jack : Oh, good. No worries, then.
Translation: Yep...just as i thought...he's gonna snuff it...
Will : [under boat underwater with Jack in the lead] This is either madness or brilliance.
Translation: Im already feeling inferior to your great mater plans, Jack...i thought this movie was supposed to be about ME rescuing Elizabeth...not YOU thinking of the ideas to HELP ME find Elizabeth...you've had your time in the limelight already! You've saved her once! Thats no fair!
Jack : It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.
Translation: Ner ner ner!!! I'm a much better action hero than you!
Jack: [they board the Dauntless] Everyone stay calm! we are taking over the ship.
Translation: Or planning on it....but the whelp is slowing me down at the moment and im feeling the urge to throw him overboard and save the heroine myself...
Will: Aye! Avast! [the men laugh]
Translation: Well...that went down like a lead balloon...
Gillette : This ship cannot be crewed by two men. You?ll never make it out of the bay.
Translation: ooh! Thats my second line in the film! Go me! I've got star status now! I'll have all the chicks wanting me for my money now!!!
Jack : [points his pistol at Gillette ?s nose] Son. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?
Translation: In other words: No matter how much you seem to think the women will want you; ...unfortunately your a face for radio, mate...
Groves : [notices Gillette and his men a small boat] Commodore!
Translation: THATS MY FIRST LINE! ... Oh no...i havent got a face for radio too, have i?
Gillette : [waving and screaming from the boat] Sir, they've taken the Dauntless. They've taken the ship. Sparrow and Turner - they've taken the Dauntless.
Translation: But look at Ryan seacrest...he managed to do both! ...but i think he swings both ways in the sexuality department...i think thats why he can get away with it...
Norrington: [sees the two on board the ship through his spy glass] Rash, Turner, too rash. That is without doubt the worst pirate I have ever seen.
Translation: You both have a face for radio! I however have a masculine quality that allows even my ice-cream-cone styled hair to radiate my manliness...
Will : [notices the Interceptor set sail] Here they come.
Translation: that Norrington looks almost as gay as i am!
Gillette : [to his crew about the boat] Bring her around! Bring her around!
Translation: Norrie is gay?? ... who knew?
Norrington: [he and his men board the Dauntless] Search every cabin, every hold, down to the bilges. [ Jack and Will swing onto the Interceptor and sail away; Norrington notices] Sailors, back to the Interceptor! Now!
Translation: Lies! All Lies!!!! ....who told you?
Sailor: Quickly men! [they try but are too late]
Translation: Quickly! Get me in shot before its too late and im cut out of the movie completly!! ...My friends would make me a laughing stock!!!
Jack : Thank you, Commodore, for getting us ready to make way. We'd have had a hard time of it by ourselves.
Translation: while your busy prancing about in your big girly wig you forgot the fact that i am a cunning pirate and i will do anything to humiliate you...and also, i suspect you also have Eunich in you....pitty really; i thought you were almost normal!
Norrington: Set top sails and clear up this mess.
Translation: ....Who knew i was a gay Eunich?
Groves : With the wind at quarter astern, we won?t catch them.
Translation: Join the club, mate...
Norrington: We don't need to catch them! just get them in range of the long nines.
Translation: ...Well..it could be worse...I could be a gay Eunich called William Turner....Oh the travesty of it all!
Groves : Hands, come about. Run out the guns. [to Norrington] We open fire on our own ship, sir?
Translation: Oh to sink so low, Sir....
Norrington: I'd rather see her at the bottom of the ocean than in the hands of a pirate.
Translation: I'd rather see her at the bottom of the ocean than in the hands of pirate dressed for halloween as bob Marley and his side-kick whose decided to 'don-his-gay-apparell'...the world is a very VERY stange place....
Sailor: Commodore, he's disabled the rudder chain, sir!
Translation:I have no idea what that means but HEY! Thats another line for me! I've deffinately made the credits now!!!
Gillette : [the Interceptor bears down on his boat] Abandon ship! [they jump off just in time as the boat is broken up and sinks under the Interceptor]
Translation: Damnit! ...Thats the fourth take we've done where the b@$t@rd driving the boat has nearly killed me!!!
Groves : That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen.
Translation: I think i love him!
Norrington: So it would seem.
Tanslation: Me too!!
😄
i LOVE doing this! 😄
makes me feel all good on the inside 😄
So good to be back !! 😄
***
Will : [sharpening his sword] When I was a lad living in England , my mother raised me by herself. After she died, I came out here, looking for my father.
Translation: I need a backstory otherwise my character arc would be completely useless...
Jack : Is that so?
Translation: Poor sod...his character lacks...well...character....
Will: My father, Will Turner . At the jail, it was only after you learned my name that you agreed to help. Since that's what I wanted, I didn't press the matter. I'm not a simpleton, Jack. You knew my father.
Translation: Ha! Oscar nomination, here i come!
Jack : I knew ?im. Probably one the few who knew him as William Turner . Everyone else just called him Bootstrap or Bootstrap Bill.
Translation: Oscar? Who does he think hes kidding? Hed be lucky if he got an emmy!
Will: Bootstrap?
Translation: Damn...even my dad had a cooler character arc than me!
Jack : Good man. Good pirate. I swear you look just like him.
Translation: His character sounds almost as boring as his offspring...wait till the second film and i swear i'll turn out to be correct!
Will : It's not true. He was a merchant sailor. A good, respectable man who obeyed the law.
Translation: No wait...im describing myself and i sound so boring!
Jack : He was a bloody pirate, a scallywag.
Translation: You are boring. Get over it!
Will : My father was not a pirate. [takes out his sword]
Translation: See? If he was he would have taught me how to handle a sword! ...and as you can see i handle them like a girl!
Jack : Put it away, son. It?s not worth you getting beat again.
Translation: I'd laugh at him but i dont want to waste the energy...
Will : You didn't beat me. you ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd killed you.
Translation: Ouch! My wrist is starting to hurt...who knew swords were so heavy...
Jack : Then that's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?
Translation: Hes like a walking, talking chimp....
[moves one of the sails so that the yard catches Will and swings him out over the sea]
Translation: The director decided to do this with sharks swimming around the boat in the attempt to see how long Orlando would hold on for before he fell to his death and be lost forever so they could replace his character altogether.....
Jack: Now, as long as you're just hanging there, pay attention. The only rules that really matter are these;
what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can't. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you?ll have to square with that someday. Now, me, for example, I can let you drown but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesy, savvy? So?
Translation: Bugger me! Im out of breath after that! .... now then...did it make any sense at all?
[swings him back on board and offers him his sword]
Translation: Halfway through the shoot orlando started crying like a baby and begged to be brought back in...so the director gave up and let him back on the boat...a regrettable mistake because there were no more chances to 'accidentally' bump him off at any other point in the film...
Jack: can you sail under the command of a pirate? Or can you not?
Translation: Please say no so i can shove you overboard and be gone with you...we all know ill end up with the girl in the end anyways!!
Will : [takes the sword] Tortuga ?
Translation: Eh? Where did that come from???
Jack : Tortuga.
Translation: We've skipped scenes you nonce....keep up!
Jack: [on the island] More importantly, it is indeed a sad life that has never breathed deep this sweet, proliferous bouquet that is Tortuga , savvy? What do you think?
Translation: And don't insult the place or i will set my whores on you...although technically that would probably make you into more of a man...
Will : It'll linger.
Translation: Not likely....i dont suppose youve heard of my homosexual tendancies....
Jack : I?ll tell you mate, if every town in the world were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted.
Translation: Ofcourse i have....your a Eunich....enough said, mate.
Jack : Scarlett !
Translation: The reason for my Syphillis!!
[she slaps him]
Translation: Well it was either that or she had him on the floor dry humping him! Honestly, the things women do when they get a few seconds to act with Johnny depp!
Jack: Not sure I deserved that.
Translation: She gave ME the disease....How is that fair?!
Jack: Giselle!
Translation: Oh...hang on a minute...maybe i was wrong....
Giselle: Who was she?!
Translation: Only I am allowed to dry hump your leg!!
Jack : What?
Translation: I think you'll find i will let you nowhere near my leg....unless im drunk or otherwise intoxicated....
[she slaps him]
Translation: He likes it rough...
Jack: I may have deserved that.
Translation: Nothing like a little bit of slap and tickle....
damn that wasnt very good...i apologise lol
Originally posted by katelovespirate
DONT you DARE apologize you maniac!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was AWESOMEEEEEEEEi almost peed my pants during the Will over the sharks thing. OMGSH. outrageous. i forgot how anti-will these used to be. LOVE IT> 🙂
lmao 😄
yeah i find that i write alot of anti-Will/Orlando stuff....dont get me wrong i like orlando and all, hes a good sport...
but hes so easy to pick on 😄 💃
What next.....lol 🙂
right kiddies im off to bed!!!
have a good day/night and i shall be back tomorro 🙂
i need plenty of beauty sleep 😄
tartar!!! xx
Originally posted by T.Mariaoh, bye!!! buhbye
lmao 😄yeah i find that i write alot of anti-Will/Orlando stuff....dont get me wrong i like orlando and all, hes a good sport...
but hes so easy to pick on 😄 💃
What next.....lol 🙂
right kiddies im off to bed!!!
have a good day/night and i shall be back tomorro 🙂
i need plenty of beauty sleep 😄tartar!!! xx
Originally posted by T.Maria
oooh its good to be back!!!! 😄 😄thanks for the heads-up kate!! 😄
Ok lets try this one;
Will : We're going to steal the ship. That ship? [glances at the Dauntless]
Translation: Oh dear god i think ive just messed my pants....Jack : Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term. One question about your business, boy, or there's no use going. This girl ? how far are you willing to go to save her?
Translation: Eunichs...they fall at the first hurdle....and what the hell is that smell?Will : I'd die for her.
Translation: Or just play 'dead' like a dog and wait for them to ignore my seemingly wrotting flesh...Jack : Oh, good. No worries, then.
Translation: Yep...just as i thought...he's gonna snuff it...Will : [under boat underwater with Jack in the lead] This is either madness or brilliance.
Translation: Im already feeling inferior to your great mater plans, Jack...i thought this movie was supposed to be about ME rescuing Elizabeth...not YOU thinking of the ideas to HELP ME find Elizabeth...you've had your time in the limelight already! You've saved her once! Thats no fair!Jack : It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.
Translation: Ner ner ner!!! I'm a much better action hero than you!Jack: [they board the Dauntless] Everyone stay calm! we are taking over the ship.
Translation: Or planning on it....but the whelp is slowing me down at the moment and im feeling the urge to throw him overboard and save the heroine myself...Will: Aye! Avast! [the men laugh]
Translation: Well...that went down like a lead balloon...Gillette : This ship cannot be crewed by two men. You?ll never make it out of the bay.
Translation: ooh! Thats my second line in the film! Go me! I've got star status now! I'll have all the chicks wanting me for my money now!!!Jack : [points his pistol at Gillette ?s nose] Son. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?
Translation: In other words: No matter how much you seem to think the women will want you; ...unfortunately your a face for radio, mate...Groves : [notices Gillette and his men a small boat] Commodore!
Translation: THATS MY FIRST LINE! ... Oh no...i havent got a face for radio too, have i?Gillette : [waving and screaming from the boat] Sir, they've taken the Dauntless. They've taken the ship. Sparrow and Turner - they've taken the Dauntless.
Translation: But look at Ryan seacrest...he managed to do both! ...but i think he swings both ways in the sexuality department...i think thats why he can get away with it...Norrington: [sees the two on board the ship through his spy glass] Rash, Turner, too rash. That is without doubt the worst pirate I have ever seen.
Translation: You both have a face for radio! I however have a masculine quality that allows even my ice-cream-cone styled hair to radiate my manliness...Will : [notices the Interceptor set sail] Here they come.
Translation: that Norrington looks almost as gay as i am!Gillette : [to his crew about the boat] Bring her around! Bring her around!
Translation: Norrie is gay?? ... who knew?Norrington: [he and his men board the Dauntless] Search every cabin, every hold, down to the bilges. [ Jack and Will swing onto the Interceptor and sail away; Norrington notices] Sailors, back to the Interceptor! Now!
Translation: Lies! All Lies!!!! ....who told you?Sailor: Quickly men! [they try but are too late]
Translation: Quickly! Get me in shot before its too late and im cut out of the movie completly!! ...My friends would make me a laughing stock!!!Jack : Thank you, Commodore, for getting us ready to make way. We'd have had a hard time of it by ourselves.
Translation: while your busy prancing about in your big girly wig you forgot the fact that i am a cunning pirate and i will do anything to humiliate you...and also, i suspect you also have Eunich in you....pitty really; i thought you were almost normal!Norrington: Set top sails and clear up this mess.
Translation: ....Who knew i was a gay Eunich?Groves : With the wind at quarter astern, we won?t catch them.
Translation: Join the club, mate...Norrington: We don't need to catch them! just get them in range of the long nines.
Translation: ...Well..it could be worse...I could be a gay Eunich called William Turner....Oh the travesty of it all!Groves : Hands, come about. Run out the guns. [to Norrington] We open fire on our own ship, sir?
Translation: Oh to sink so low, Sir....Norrington: I'd rather see her at the bottom of the ocean than in the hands of a pirate.
Translation: I'd rather see her at the bottom of the ocean than in the hands of pirate dressed for halloween as bob Marley and his side-kick whose decided to 'don-his-gay-apparell'...the world is a very VERY stange place....Sailor: Commodore, he's disabled the rudder chain, sir!
Translation:I have no idea what that means but HEY! Thats another line for me! I've deffinately made the credits now!!!Gillette : [the Interceptor bears down on his boat] Abandon ship! [they jump off just in time as the boat is broken up and sinks under the Interceptor]
Translation: Damnit! ...Thats the fourth take we've done where the b@$t@rd driving the boat has nearly killed me!!!Groves : That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen.
Translation: I think i love him!Norrington: So it would seem.
Tanslation: Me too!!😄
I forget if this scene has been done...
Barbossa's cabin. Lavish feast is laid out.
Elizabeth cuts off a corner of meat and chews it slowly.
Translation: What I wouldn't give for a plate of waffles right now...
Barbossa: There's no need to stand upon ceremony nor call to impress. You must be hungry.
Translation: The crew and I have been talking. We know you're meant to be the innocent ingenue, but we saw that kinky black corset you were wearing. You're horny as anything.
Elizabeth takes huge bite of meat.
Translation: Okay, there's a point. The other day I got caught in ugly underwear by this sexy pirate. I wasnt going to let that happen again.
Barbossa: Try the wine. And the apples too, one of those next...
Translation: I get turned on when people eat. I dont know why. Its my personal rebellion against the skinny actress thing.
Elizabeth drops bread.
Translation: Oh shit, my diet. Ive gotta throw this up or my sexy ribs won't show through my clothes!
Elizabeth: Its poisoned?
Translation: I KNEW I should have waited till we found a waffle house!!!
Barbossa laughs.
Translation: Damn, why didnt I think of that?!
Barbossa: There'd be no sense in killing ye.
Translation: A quick dose of LSD could have made the night fun for me though.
Elizabeth: Then release me! You have your trinket, I'm of no further value to you.
Translation: I had this beautiful fantasy of visiting that pirate in his prison cell, and instead I find myself here with Captain Feather Hat.
Barbossa: You don't know what this is, do you?
Translation: Its a brilliant marketing campeign thats going to make us millions in cheap replica necklaces.
Elizabeth: It's a pirate medallion.
Translation: Its a way to get guys to look at my chest.
Barbossa: This is aztec gold. One of 882 identical pieces delivered in a stone chest to Cortez. Blood money paid to stem the slaughter he wreaked on their people. But the greed of cortez was insatiable, and so the heathen gods placed a terrible curse upon the gold. Any mortal removes but a single piece would be punished for eternity...
Translation: I was never into bondage stuff before Jack Sparrow came along.
Elizabeth: I hardly believe in ghost stories anymore, Captain Barbossa.
Translation: Virgin ears here!
Barbossa: Aye. That?s exactly what I thought when we were first told the tale. Buried on an Island of Dead what cannot be found except for those who know where it is. Find it, we did. There be the chest. Inside be the gold. And we took ?em all. We spent ?em and traded ?em and frittered ?em away on drink and food and pleasurable company. The more we gave ?em away, the more we came to realize?the drink would not satisfy, food turned to ash in our mouths, and all the pleasurable company in the world could not slake our lust. We are cursed men, Miss Turner . Compelled by greed, we were, but now we are consumed by it.
Translation: This is MY oscar moment everyone. I'd like to thank my parents, and Gore for letting me say this line without the monkey, and Johnny for not being in this scene...
Elizabeth takes a butter knife and hides it
Translation: If I were cool enough to be Mirian from Raiders of the Lost Ark, I would have thought of this gag on my own...
Barbossa: There is one way we can end our curse. All the scattered pieces of the Aztec gold must be restored and the blood repaid. Thanks to ye, we have the final piece.
Translation: Thanks to ye, I finally got a chance to use that dress. You see, Captain Jack originated a little game we like to play here, called "you aren't allowed to wear dresses inside the Captain's Cabin". Off it comes.
Elizabeth: And the blood to be repaid?
Translation: I'm not the brightest bulb in the janitors closet, am I?
Barbossa: That's why there's no sense to be killing ye. Yet. Apple?
Translation: No, not the brightest. I dont mind spelling it out though. And I wouldnt exactly call those apples... kiwi maybe?
Elizabeth stabs him with knife
Translation: Oh gosh, I'm sorry. My bad. I meant to get the bread with that.
Barbossa: I'm curious. After killing me what is it you plan on doing next?
Translation: Its allright love. we'll clean it off and slice that bread right up.
Elizabeth runs out and sees the pirates, all decaying skeletons. lots of screaming
translation: That botox did a number on my forhead muscles. I cant wipe this look of surprise and terror off my face.
Barbossa: Look! The moonlight shows us for what we really are. We are not among the living, and so we cannot die, but neither are we dead. For too long I?ve been parched with thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I?ve been starving to death and haven?t died. I feel nothing ? not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea, nor the warmth of a woman?s flesh.
Translation: Okay, I'm going to be honest with you. We're all closet romance novelists. Its hard to find a decent wench in the caribbean anymore, and what with the scurvy and rotten teeth, we hardly ever get any fun. For too long I've been working my pecs and had no one to show them to, too long I've lit candles and taken bubble baths and had no one to share them with. I cant concentrate on anything anymore, except bringing steamy pirate loving to the masses.
Elizabeth draws back with a look of horror.
Translation: YOU wrote that book I was reading in the scene with the maid! That was scandalous!... though not without some artistic value... and a really hot cabin scene...
Barbossa: You best start believing in ghost stories Miss Turner . You?re in one!
Translation: You might want to re-read that book, because you've landed yourself in the sequel!
Translation:
Jack: Well, I'm actually feeling rather good about this. I think we've all arrived at a very special place, eh? Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
Translation: Anyone who expects a guy that almost died to NOT slur his speech is just asking for trouble.
Jack: I want you to know I was rooting for you, mate. Know that.
Translation: Because she'd have been so much easier to steal from you than the whelp.
Jack: Elizabeth. It never would have worked out between us, darling. I'm sorry. Will....nice hat.
Translation: But I have a feeling we'll meet again in Pirates 2: The Quest for True Love. Will.....you won't be invited.
Jack: Friends! This is the day you will always remember as...(falls)
Translation: Lend me your ears! AAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH! Shouldn't have quoted Shakespeare!
Gillette: Idiot. He has nowhere to go but back to the noose.
Translation: Why didn't I think of that?
Sentry: Sail ho!
Translation: Sentry now.....years later, Hamlet.
Gillette: What's your plan of action? Sir?
Translation: Jeez, make me do all the brunt work.
Gov. Swann: Perhaps on occasion pursuing the right course demands an act of piracy, piracy itself can be the right course?
Translation: I think, therefore I am. Ooh! Something shiny!
Norrington: Mr. Turner
Translation: You're number one on my hit list.
Will: I will accept the consequences of my actions.
Translation: Kicking and screaming the whole way.
Norrington: This is a beautiful sword. I would expect the man who made it to show the same care and devotion in every aspect of his life.
Translation: I've decided to speak in analogies to show the audience what a twit you are.
Will: Thank you.
Translation: Thank you.
Gillette: Commodore? What about Captain Sparrow?
Translation: Isn't he a twit?
Norrington: I think we can afford to give him one day's head start.
Translation: Oh he's no twit. That's why his death will be slow and painful and will look like a giant vagina is sucking him in.
Gov. Swann: So this is the path you've chosen, is it? After all, he is a blacksmith.
Translation: I have no daughter.
Elizabeth: No. He's a pirate (kisses him)
Translation: Or at least he is when I close my eyes.
"Elizabeth: Its poisoned?
Translation: I KNEW I should have waited till we found a waffle house!!!
Barbossa laughs.
Translation: Damn, why didnt I think of that?!"---------Kate
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! That entire scene was funny, but I can really imagine Barbossa thinking "why didn't I think of that." Great job.
Originally posted by willofthewisp
"Elizabeth: Its poisoned?
Translation: I KNEW I should have waited till we found a waffle house!!!Barbossa laughs.
Translation: Damn, why didnt I think of that?!"---------KateHA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! That entire scene was funny, but I can really imagine Barbossa thinking "why didn't I think of that." Great job.
LOL I love that line as well, But IHOP would have sound much better
Pirate: I'm going to teach you the meaning of pain.
Translation: I once saw my girl kissing another man while we were abandoning ship. If that's not pain...
Elizabeth: You like pain? Try wearing a corset.
Translation: It's my only hero line and I'm milking it people. The Oscar goes to Elizabeth Swann!
Elizabeth: (sees Jack as a skeleton) Whose side is Jack on?
Translation: I could jump those bones....
Will: At the moment?
Translation: I don't know. He had me at hello, so I'm not too worried.
(Jack shoots Barbossa)
Translation: Nobody points a gun at my Lizzie!
Barbossa: Ten years you carry that pistol and you waste your shot.
Translation: Looks like I'll be the star of the sequel.
Will: He didn't waste it.
Translation: But my career's wasted playing Jack's second banana. Enjoy that Oscar, Liz. I'm getting squat.
Barbossa: I feel cold.
Translation: Maybe I'll be the star in the third sequel.