Jack: Come on, doggy. It's just you and me now, just you and ol' Jack. Come on, boy. Just a bit closer. Come on, you slimy, mangy cur. (dog runs away) No, no, no, no! I didn't mean it.
Translation: Having a dog would sure beat having a monkey
Twigg: This ain't the armory
Translation: Yep, nothing like "Iron Maiden Armory," best strip club this side of Port Royal
Kohler: Well, well, well. Look what we have here. Captain Jack Sparrow.
Translation: Brownie points for calling him captain. If he takes the Pearl over, he'll remember me....positively
Twigg: Last time I saw you, you were all alone on a godforsaken island, shrinking into the distance. His fortunes aren't improved much.
Translation: And then there was the time I saw him with scissors for hands, that was fun. Oh, but not as much as when he played a drug dealer. Yeah, I guess I've seen him a lot
Jack: Worry about your own fortunes, gentlemen. The deepest circle of hell is reserved for traitors and mutineers.
Translation: Fortune? Speak for yourself! I got a nice boat, though it has a few holes, and met a nice girl, though she's seeing somebody, and I've got a puppy, even though it's run off. So burn in hell!
Kohler: You know nothing of hell.
Translation: Why can't I have a puppy?
Jack: So there is a curse? That's interesting. That's very interesting.
Translation: And when I say interesting, I mean gross.
Lol, I was at Sam's Club and it inspired me. The place has become a shrine to Johnny. We go into the movie section and a movie is playing and I think it's the newer Peter Pan movie, but it's really Finding Neverland and then in the toys they had the MOST AMAZING playset of the Black Pearl with Jack, Davy, and Will dolls to go with it. It was the best ship around, but I grew cynical at Liz not being added when she spends more time on the Pearl in DMC than Will or Davy. Just because she's the girl.....
Originally posted by willofthewispomg! i must go there now! they had a DMC pinball machine at Costco the other day. i wanted it so bad! but it was $200
Lol, I was at Sam's Club and it inspired me. The place has become a shrine to Johnny. We go into the movie section and a movie is playing and I think it's the newer Peter Pan movie, but it's really Finding Neverland and then in the toys they had the MOST AMAZING playset of the Black Pearl with Jack, Davy, and Will dolls to go with it. It was the best ship around, but I grew cynical at Liz not being added when she spends more time on the Pearl in DMC than Will or Davy. Just because she's the girl.....
MARTY
It's a key!
TRANSLATION: People get cool names like Barbossa and Jack Sparrow and I get Marty? I'm going to go shoot my mom.
JACK SPARROW
No! Much more better. It is a *drawing*
of a key.
[Jack holds up the cloth, the crew crowd forward]
Translation: We can put this up for auction on ebay and profit from it. We'll beat the corporate fat cats at their own game.
[Among the crew:
Chinese man, black man with a black
beard, white bearded man with large
black hat]
JACK SPARROW
Gentlemen, what do keys do?
Translation: Besides win us a fortune on ebay?
LEECH
Keys... unlock... *things*?
Translation: Oh man! Put that in item description and we'll get people to do the "buy it now" option!
GIBBS
And whatever this key unlocks, *inside*
there's something valuable. So, we're
setting out to find whatever this key
unlocks!
Translation: Stick to the point. We can find treasure with this thing that can't be found on ebay.
JACK SPARROW
No! If we don't have the key, we can't
open whatever it is we don't have that
it unlocks. So what purpose would be
served in finding whatever need be unlocked,
which we don't have, without first having
found the key what unlocks it?
Translatioin: Shut your trap, Gibbs! I'm going to prove to you I'm the smartest guy on this ship.
GIBBS
So - We're going after this key!
Translation: Der?
JACK SPARROW
You're not making any sense at all.
Any more questions?
Translation: That's better. You know who the MENSA member is here...anyone else care to challenge my wits?
MARTY
So... Do we have a heading?
Translation: No key can buy me a new name. Stupid parents.
JACK SPARROW
Hah! A heading. Set sail in a... mmm...
a general... in *that* way - direction.
Translation: Let's be different today and go OPPOSITE the direction of the compass. I don't feel like seeing Lizzie in her wedding dress today.
GIBBS
Cap'n?
Translation: Der?
JACK SPARROW
Come on, snap to and make sail, you
know how this works. Come on, ?oy/?quick,
?oy/?quick, hey!
Translation: I said shut up, you. You can be book smart or street smart, but I'm the only one that can be both.
[Marty and Gibbs gather alone by the railing]
MARTY
Have you noticed lately... The captain
seems to be actin' a bit strange...
-er.
Translation: Name's Marty and I take orders from this guy. Yep, success story tonight on Biography.
GIBBS
Settin' sail without knowing his own
headin'? Somethin's got Jack vexed.
Mark my words, what bodes ill for Jack
Sparrow bodes ill for us all.
Translation: It's either a multi-tentacled beast of the Davy Jones variety, or it's Elizabeth. Either way, we're not going to be drinking.
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
The East India Trading Company has need
of your services. We wish for you to
act as our agent in a business transaction
with our mutual friend: Captain Sparrow.
Translation: We've received a cable from his colleague, Dr. Schneider, who has no idea of his whereabouts...oh, I'm sorry. This isn't Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
WILL TURNER
More acquaintance than friend. How do
you know him?
Translation: I wouldn't have hit Indiana Jones with an oar. Have you ever hit him?
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
We've had dealings in the past. And
we've each left our mark... on the other.
Translation: Oh man! I sure did! Got him smack on the jaw...oh. Not supposed to be your friend. Stoic face back on.
WILL TURNER
What mark did he leave on you?
Translation: I bet he hit below the belt with that oar, didn't he?
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
By your efforts Jack Sparrow was set
free. I would like you to go to him,
and recover a certain property in his
possession.
Translation: Technically, it's Mr. Cotton's possession. BRING ME THE HEAD OF MR. COTTON'S PARROT
WILL TURNER
Recover. At the point of a sword?
Translation: Give me a reason. Give me a reason. Give me a reason.
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
*Bargain*!
[Beckett goes over to a wooden box on a table and opens it]
Translation: I want Jack alive. We have another oar-hitting match.
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
Letters of Marque. You will offer what
amounts to a full pardon. Jack will
be free, a privateer in the employ of
England.
Translation: And then he's mine for the taking.
WILL TURNER
Somehow I doubt Jack will consider employment
the same as being free.
Translation: next thing you'll be telling me he'll adopt a posse of kids and start a carpool
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
Freedom. Jack Sparrow is a dying breed.
The world is shrinking, the blank pages
of the map filled in. Jack must find
his place in the new world or perish.
Not unlike you, Mister Turner. You and
your fiancée face the hangman's noose.
Translation: I'm quite the philosopher in my spare time. I'm also delightfully mad. So go to Jack or I'll make sure your fiancee does, and you won't like that one bit.
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
No doubt you've discovered that loyalty
is no longer the currency of the realm,
as your father believes.
Translation: Ah, alone with Harvey the Rabbit. Time to take off my pants and eat franks and beans.
[Elizabeth slips into the dark room from an interior door, hands
held behind her]
Beckett's translation: Crap. Company.
ELIZABETH SWANN
Then what is?
Translation: Ew, it looked like he was going to take his pants off.
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
I'm afraid that *currency* is the currency
of the realm.
Translation: And you're suposed to be in jail, so good day to you. I have plans this evening with the Victoria's Secret catalog.
ELIZABETH SWANN
I expect then that we can come to some
sort of understanding. I'm here to negotiate.
Translation: And I was going to stay in my cell and read Lady's Home Journal but Will screwed up again.
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
I'm listening.
Translation: Ooh! Lady's Home Journal
[Elizabeth pulls a pistol, points it at Beckett's head]
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
I'm listening *intently*.
Translation: I highly recomend Cosmo.
ELIZABETH SWANN
These Letters of Marque, they are signed
by the King?
Translation: Hmm, run away with a fortune in autographs or save the boys?
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
Yes, and they're not valid until they
bear my signature and my seal.
Translation: Co-signed by me, they go up by half. So no fortune for you.
ELIZABETH SWANN
Or else I would not still be here. You
sent Will to get you the Compass owned
by Jack Sparrow. It will do you no good.
Translation: Before you ask why I would warn a devious short man like yourself, I have a soft spot for bunny rabbits. That should explain it all to you.
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
Do explain.
Translation: I'd like to think I remind you of a tiger.
ELIZABETH SWANN
I have been to Isla de Muerta, I have
seen the treasure myself. There is something
you need to know.
Translation: You remind me of the undead monkey. Be warned: he claws.
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
Ah, I see. *You* think the Compass leads
only to the Isla de Muerta, and so you
hope to *save* me from an evil fate.
But you mustn't worry. I care not for
cursed Aztec gold. My desires are not
so provincial. There's more than one
chest of value in these waters. So perhaps
you may wish to enhance your offer.
Translation: I would trade absolute power over the seas for an undead monkey. You got one?
[Elizabeth cocks her pistol]
[Beckett signs the document]
ELIZABETH SWANN
Consider into your calculations that
you robbed me of my wedding night.
Translation: No sex for Lizzie means no monkey for Cutler.
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
So I did. A marriage interrupted. Or
fate intervenes. You make great efforts
to ensure Jack Sparrow's freedom.
Translation: I'll distract you. Look over there! Hmm, didn't work. I'll just talk about Jack. That usually does it.
ELIZABETH SWANN
These aren't going to Jack.
Translation: But these [points to her breasts] are.
LORD CUTLER BECKETT
Oh really. To ensure Mister Turner's
freedom, then? I'll still want that
Compass. Consider that in your calculations.
Translation: Will already showed me his breasts. I don't think Jack will give him the compass in exchange.
Last one for the night. By the way, http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-Dead-Man's-Chest.html is the place to go for the script of DMC.
GIBBS
Let's put some distance between us and
this island, and head out to open sea.
Translation: I like distance.
JACK SPARROW
Yes to the first, yes to the second,
but only insofar as we keep to the shallows
as much as possible.
Translation: I was almost eaten! I don't have time to think coherently! I want to go out and pick flowers.
GIBBS
Uh, that seems a bit contradictory,
Captain.
Translation: Are you okay? I know we were all about to die, but you usually take that so well.
JACK SPARROW
I have every faith in your reconciliatory
navigational skills, Master Gibbs, now
where is that monkey? I want to shoot
*something*.
Translation: You know what would really make me happy even though I'm freezing cold, wet, and hungry? Bloodshed.
[the monkey screams, drops Ragetti's eye, Ragetti grabs his eye,
spits on it, rubs the spit around on it]
[the monkey chatters and climbs into the rigging]
[Jack is ready to shoot the monkey with his pistol]
WILL TURNER
Jack.
Translation: Wouldn't a short human be more fulfilling than a monkey?
JACK SPARROW
Ah.
Translation: Are you shorter than me? I didn't think so. But go on.
WILL TURNER
Elizabeth is in danger.
Translation: So am I, but I didn't think you'd care. I only just saved your life... you're welcome.
JACK SPARROW
Have you considered keeping a more watchful
eye on 'er? Maybe just lock her up somewhere.
Translation: Bloody stupid Will, couldn't protect her even if she ordered him to.
WILL TURNER
She *is* locked up, in a prison, bound
to hang for helping *you*!
Translation: Ha! Now feel like shit whilst I drink all your rum.
JACK SPARROW
There comes a time when one must take
responsibility for one's mistakes.
Translation: I never feel like shit. Sounds like sour grapes to me.
[Will pulls a sword from the waistband of a pirate who is turned
around, points it at Jack]
WILL TURNER
I need that Compass of yours, Jack.
I must trade it for her freedom.
[Jack pushes Will's sword aside]
Translation: If only she could see me now. She'd beg me to take here right here, right now.
JACK SPARROW
Mister Gibbs!
Translation: Well, I'll call up Gibbs to beg you to take him. It's the next best thing.
GIBBS
Cap'n.
Translation: Only a matter of time before I get my own spin off, with a platypus as my faithful sidekick.
JACK SPARROW
We have a need to travel upriver.
Translation: I wanted to take you gambling before you get your own show.
GIBBS
By need, d'you mean a... trifling need,
?uh/?a... fleeting, as in say in a passing
fancy?
Translation: Includes girls or doesn't?
JACK SPARROW
No, a... resolute and unyielding need.
Translation: Girls for you, posters of Domino, Beckham's friend, uh, Guenevere, Elizabeth Bennet, and Robin Hood's daughter for me.
WILL TURNER
What we need to do is make sail for
Port Royal with all haste.
Translation: I don't like the sound of that. Those all look like Elizabeth.
JACK SPARROW
William... I shall trade you the Compass,
if you will help me... to find *this*.
Translation: It's the newest poster for the movie "The Jacket." It bombed ridiculously, but I want it. Don't ask why.